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Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by [Johnson, Sue]
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Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships Kindle Edition

4.8 out of 5 stars 118 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"This book is an absolute must for anyone who wants to understand how Love Makes Sense. Sue Johnson covers all the new science, and she has led the scientific field in helping us all understand love and how to repair an ailing relationship. The book is a real page-turner, an easy read that will enlighten all of us who want to build a lasting and secure bond filled with romance and passion. We need no longer wander around in the darkness, stumbling from one disastrous relationship to another. Read this book and learn how to create a life that is a safe haven for love." --John M. Gottman, PhD, author of What Makes Love Last?

"A life-changing book! Dr. Johnson elucidates the science of love, convincingly demonstrating the underlying emotional logic of relationships. In an entertaining way, she gives us practical, down-to-earth examples and exercises to help us develop our 'love sense.' It will enrich the lives of all who read it." --Richard Lannon, MD, coauthor of A General Theory of Love

"You won't find a better book combining wonderful insight, practical wisdom, and the latest science of relationships. Plus the passion of a psychologist intent on making the world safe for the kind of intimacy we all long for." --William J. Doherty, PhD, author of Take Back Your Marriage

"Sue Johnson, the developer of Emotion Focused Couple Therapy, has written a powerful book on the science of securely bonded marriages. Dr. Johnson's very human and inspiring approach to relationships will keep the reader mesmerized." --Barry McCarthy, PhD, author of Rekindling Desire

"Sue Johnson sees no contradiction in viewing love as biology and poetry, physiology and romance. For her, love is the hard won endowment of our evolutionary history and a source of hope a world of uncertainty and danger. With this book, Sue reveals that love is scientifically understandable. She emerges not only as a world authority on love's repair, but also on its underlying, neural, physiological and psychological structure."--James Coan, PhD, Professor of Clinical Psychology and Director of the Virginia Affective Neuroscience Laboratory at the University of Virginia.

"In Love Sense, Dr. Sue Johnson creates fascinating and enlightening connections between cutting-edge research, professional applications of research in marital therapy, and scores of apt case examples and engaging exercises for people who struggle with relationship difficulties. Besides being an excellent researcher, theorist, and clinician, Johnson has a unique gift for inspiring and motivating other therapists and nonprofessional readers. With genuine enthusiasm and admirable clarity, she shows how emotion-focused therapy, guided by attachment theory and research, can heal troubled relationships while benefiting society more generally. This is a wonderful, uplifting, energizing book."--Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis; Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

About the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, CA. The developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, she is a recognized leader in the new science of relationships. Dr. Johnson is the author of Hold Me Tight and other numerous books and articles, and has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She divides her time between Ottawa, New York, and San Diego.

Product Details

  • File Size: 812 KB
  • Print Length: 353 pages
  • Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (December 31, 2013)
  • Publication Date: December 31, 2013
  • Sold by: Hachette Book Group
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00CO7FL24
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
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  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #45,062 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By jk on January 1, 2014
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Sue Johnson has a gift for presenting science with such delight and joy that it's like opening an extra special birthday present that the giver is as excited about as the receiver. In Love Sense, Sue opens up the science of love for all of us. She begins by pointing out that our first instinct is to seek contact and comforting connection rather than sex or aggression. This idea opens up a whole new arena for understanding behavior and interactions. The idea that we must stand alone and strive for independence falls away for the idea that what we all really need is closeness and comfort. We worry that if we are "too soft" that we will raise self centered people but, in fact, we are mostly driven to be empathic rather than competitive. Sue reveals the science of her ideas in much the same way that Richard Feynman reveals physics - with joy and engagement. Sue discusses emotion, the brain, sex, monogamy. She addresses many issues couples struggle with over a lifetime of partnership such as making a commitment, parenthood, coping with the empty nest, retirement. Along this journey, Sue explains the common cycles couples get into and the emotion that is underneath those cycles that drives them. She uses examples from her work with couples to demonstrate what happens in these dynamics and how attachment styles and needs affect each person. She slows down the dynamics and digs deep into the emotion and attachment needs to expose what reassurance or support is needed to circumvent the cycle. In chapter nine Sue tells a love story and describes a betrayal between a couple, the opening up, understanding what was happening between them that created the environment for this fracture to happen and then the repair.Read more ›
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Without being too sappy or too stodgy, Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships (2013), by Sue Johnson, is a fascinating and heartwarming look at the phenomenon of love from a scientific perspective.

Citing ample research on primate development, neuroscience, and biochemistry, Johnson makes a compelling case that humans evolved to be monogamous rather than philanderous, interdependent rather than isolated, and that emotional connectedness to others is a testament to our strength rather than a sign of weakness.

Although the book does an excellent job extolling the importance of romantic relationships, it seems to marginalize those who are not in a strictly monogamous and long-term relationship and, also, errs on the side of being too permissive of clinginess and “you are my everything” enmeshment. Nevertheless, it’s a worthwhile read because it breaks down love in terms of cutting-edge science.

Building on the work of John Bowlby, Sue Johnson offers a compelling foundation from which to understand, and even enhance, love relationships: attachment theory. The basic premise of attachment theory is that human beings thrive on emotional connection to caregivers as babies and to romantic partners as adults. Inconsistencies in attachment bonds cause humans distress, particularly infants. This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective since human infants are among the most helpless in the animal kingdom and are completely dependent on their parents’ care at birth. Instinctively knowing that abandonment spells death, we humans are wired to connect and we thrive when we have at least one significant other to trust.

I really enjoyed the parts of the book where Johnson examined the nitty gritty of what constitutes love.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
As a Clinical Psychologist and Couples Workshop Leader, I am always looking for excellent books to share with my clients, colleagues, workshop couples and friends. Dr Sue Johnson's newest book, "Love Sense" brings the latest research findings about relationships, love, attachment and romance to the public. "Love Sense" is based on the leading scientific findings and is very engaging, easy to read, personable, accessible, informative, interesting and encouraging.
Actually, we enjoyed "Love Sense" so much that we purchased extra copies to give to our "Hold Me Tight Workshop" Couples as a Valentine's Day present. We recommend "Love Sense"and "Hold Me Tight" to all of our individual clients and couples too. So yes, we highly recommend the books, "Love Sense" and "Hold Me Tight" by Dr Sue Johnson for anyone interested in learning more about "Attachment Theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy" and especially for anyone interested in creating more loving, satisfying relationships!
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Format: Hardcover
Reading this book is both soothing and exhilarating. What a comfort to learn that we are wired to connect and that we don't outgrow this need for close relationship in our lives. And how exciting to know that there is growing scientific evidence that supports this idea. AND, that we now know how to create more closeness and emotional security in adult love relationships!

Thank you Dr. Johnson for this engaging read, your passion and clarity hooked me from the introduction. The exercises at the end of each chapter were very useful.

I would recommend this book to any adult who is in or wants to be in a committed adult romantic relationship. Also highly recommend to any therapist, ministers, rabbi's, counselors who want to gain a deeper understanding of what causes couple's to distance and get caught in habitual conflicts. For anyone reading this book, the biggest bonus is that Dr. Johnson offers real world understanding, support by science, plus real world solutions that she's learned from the therapy she developed, E.F.T.
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