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The Love-Shy Survival Guide 1st Edition
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A thoroughly accessible and motivating read for those suffering from love-shyness find the partner you so richly deserve!
About the Author
Talmer Shockley lives in the United States and has spent most of his career as a high-tech research technician. Talmer has been diagnosed with both Asperger's Syndrome and love-shyness and speaks professionally about Asperger's, love-shyness and the spiritual aspects of Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Top Customer Reviews
The first few pages do get off to a great start - some of the misery guts loveshies on the internet forums need a kick up the arse and he does go in with the intent of doing that.
On the whole, however, the book isn't to the point - about half the book is spent going into huge details on scientific definitions and general irrelevancies while a lot of it is written with a tone of frustration and twisted bitterness. This helps no one - it does not raise awareness of the problem to non-loveshies as he comes across as a loser and hence will not be heeded and for loveshies it distracts them from the basics of just sorting the problem out. There's plenty of texts out there that focus on emotional intelligence and anxiety that better explain how to improve your quality of life and raise awareness of the hidden perils of anxiety.
The whole approach is clunky - Shockley's approach to dating is to develop a myriad of skill sets to fulfill a list of dating criteria and somehow hold them together to attract a partner. This whole approach can only lead to increased anxiety and failure.
The female section is a massive disappointment - In his advice to women that are shy about sex he suggest to simply to buy a vibrator and explore their sexuality. It doesn't come across well and would turn me off if I was woman (although I probably wouldn't go near this book in the first place if I was).Read more ›
Another problem is the organization of the book. Shockley just goes from one suggestion to another (usually spending a paragraph) without much rhyme or reason. He never says which tips are more important than others and by the end of the book, the reader is overwhelmed with so much information that he (or she) will wonder if they should just give up on love.
Even when Shockley does give some good advice, it is unrealistic. For example, he suggests that you shouldn't live at home while going to college. After all, it inhibits your social interaction. This is very true, but anyone who bought this book is likely past the college age and thus can't change this fact.
There is occasionally a nugget of wisdom in the book, but it gets lost in 200+ pages of bland & unoriginal advice. Perhaps my criticisms are true of all self-help books in the sense that they rely too much on the person making internal changes (when the reality is people can only change so much). However, I really though this book would be different because the author understood love-shyness unlike the PUA's.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Everything said in the title. This book would be something if it was written 10 years ago or so, but today it's more of informative then of practical value.Published on November 26, 2012 by Dalibor Dragojevic
Love is a hard ball game to break into. "The Love-Shy Survival Guide" is an advice book for those who are love shy and are having a hard time getting into the world of... Read morePublished on September 14, 2009 by Midwest Book Review