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Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment Hardcover – August 6, 2013
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Everyone, from the mainstream press to religious leaders to the Supreme Court, is talking about marriage these days. Hamilton, popular author (The Way) and senior pastor of The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kan., chimes in with sharp insights on how to sustain a marriage for life. The author draws from a survey on happiness and contentment in marriage, as well as current research about relationships, and sifts through it all to find nuggets of practical wisdom. He does not shy away from tackling some significant obstacles to a happy marriage, including addictions to alcohol, sex, and pornography. Perhaps most useful is the author's insight that love is not a feeling; it is an action. When the giddiness of a budding romance wears off, in order for the relationship to survive, "you do love until you feel love," the author writes. Each chapter concludes with helpful reflection questions for couples and those who are single but contemplating marriage. A successful marriage requires enormous effort, and it can also bring amazing joy to those willing to try.
About the Author
Adam Hamilton is senior pastor of The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas, one of the fastest growing, most highly visible churches in the country. The Church Report named Hamilton’s congregation the most influential mainline church in America, and he preached at the National Prayer Service as part of the presidential inauguration festivities in 2013 and was appointed to the President's Advisory Council on Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships.
Hamilton is the best-selling and award-winning author of Creed, Half Truths, The Call, The Journey, The Way, 24 Hours That Changed the World, John, Revival, Not a Silent Night, Enough, When Christians Get It Wrong, and Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, all published by Abingdon Press. Learn more about Adam Hamilton at AdamHamilton.org.
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Top customer reviews
For example, these are the top five answers when married women were asked "What one thing would you change about your spouse if you could?":
1. I wish he would listen to me; 2. I want him to share his feelings with me; 3. I wish he weren't so short-tempered; 4. I'd like him to help me around the house; 5. I wish he weren't so negative.
And the answers for the same question from married men were:
1. I wish she were more interested in sexual intimacy; 2. I would like her to nag me less; 3. I wish she wouldn't overreact; 4. I would like her to be less negative; 5. I wish she wouldn't criticize me so much.
Information like this is hugely beneficial to both sexes to learn about and try to improve upon.
And then there are statistics about age and length of married life.
You will see that 58% of people in their 30s fight once a week or more, but this frequency declines when the age reaches into 40s and beyond. You will also see what couples fight about, satisfaction by time married, divorce rate by length of marriage, etc.
In the appendix section, there is a description of the survey background, and there is also advice of couples who have married 50 or more years.
It talks about how you can kill your relationship diminishing your partner or controlling too much something (schedule,money,etc) and a negative way of managing and handling fights. I learned from all this for Not to do this.
It says the importance of bringing and having God in the relationship.
I loved the way it mention the stages of marriage and it gives me hope and encourage me to go through them. I'm in the difficult one right now: my husband working and me with 2 little kids (not school age yet), both raising them alone with no help from parents or anybody, that doesn't give us any time almost for anything....
Overall the free sampler is great and gets to the target about marriage