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Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity Kindle Edition
A pornography addiction can feel like real infidelity to a spouse. There’s nothing virtual about the damage done to a relationship, and the wounds are reopened each time a relapse is discovered.
As tough as it is to overcome this addictive habit, healing a marriage damaged by pornography is even harder. For spouses, it’s not enough for their partners to simply stop looking at porn. They need healing themselves.
Some couples separate and divorce. Others stay together, but the strain of unresolved feelings takes a distinct toll. Many wonder, Can our marriage heal? Will we ever feel close again?
Love You, Hate the Porn shows couples how to identify and address vulnerabilities in their relationship. This book offers healing advice for spouses, provides help for the struggling partner to avoid relapse and focuses on how to make the marriage relationship stronger than it was before.
About the Author
- ASIN : B004TC14JG
- Publisher : Shadow Mountain (March 22, 2011)
- Publication date : March 22, 2011
- Language : English
- File size : 479 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 144 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #203,737 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
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The approach, "Yes, you did hurt her, here's why she hurts and why this may have become an issue." but then spends most of the book saying, "You know you hurt her, but let's explain how to make that hurt bring you closer and stick to that by understanding each other." It explains how we think without getting so generalized that it doesn't apply. It explains how we view certain communication and how women and men tend to clash because we take away meanings from our communication that isn't there.
It is a satisfying book because yes, your hurt as the female who has discovered "virtual infidelity" is explored a lot, but so is our potential misunderstanding of his ways to make it right and how we can meet each other in the middle. It is not a one size fits all, it explores many reactions and feelings that may apply to you and your spouse. It's not guilt laden for the males but it does not skirt the issue that their porn has hurt you. It also tries to explain what sends a man to that secret to begin with without excusing it.
I am not completely finished with the book but the only thing I wish it did that I haven't read yet is touch on the topic that there's such a huge divide between women who hurt due to their husband's porn obsession and a society that treats hyper-sexualization as normal and to be conserved. The book certainly addresses that discovering these things are painful and feel like betrayal, but it doesn't mention it can also be a lonely and confusing time simply because it hurts and yet there's an attitude we should just deal with it, it's normal. It does bring up hyper-sexuality within the thoughts of the patients he's treated, but has not discussed how that culture in of itself is confusing. The book certainly does not make it out to be OK and it very clearly brings up reasons why it's not, and it points to a commonality in how people react to it (so it's not just in your head that it hurts) and gives tools for you both to be closer without trying to make him feel even worse.