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I Love You, Let's Meet: Adventures in Online Dating Hardcover – February 1, 2007
"Warlight" by Michael Ondaatje
A dramatic coming-of-age story set in the decade after World War II, "Warlight" is the mesmerizing new novel from the best-selling author of "The English Patient." Pre-order today
From Publishers Weekly
Vitzthum has left no stone unturned in the world of online dating, from her love/hate relationship with the hipster-oriented Nerve.com to the facts behind the "science" of matching sites like eHarmony.com and Match.com and the musings of a charming, well-educated, British Craigslist addict. While the book contains both fairy tales and horror stories, Vitzthum's case studies and interviews fall somewhere in the middle, a reflection of her own ambivalence about this world of "people-shoppers." More of a meditation than a guide, this volume combines research and the author's personal experiences into a genuinely funny and informative read. (Feb. 1)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Virginia Vitzthum is a journalist and former sex columnist for Salon.com. She has written for the Village Voice, Elle, Ms., Time Out, and many other publications. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.
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"He says you have to get things straight with your family, your friends, you find your career, and only then when you're a whole person on your own, can you be part of a successful relationship. Until then you're just these broken pieces."
This rings true in the commoditization of the web and online dating sites. There are over 1,000 online dating sites in the States and approximately 25% of the population has used them at least once in their lives. But are all the gimmicky questionnaires, perky advice on how to write a better email, or use different lighting for your photo really helping the shopping-cart mentality of dating in cyber space?
For her book Vitzthum interviewed dozens of daters between 25-70 years old, gay or straight; men and women; married and single; and everyone in between. She herself online dated as well. Her opinions and observations are astute and intelligent. She says that the big online dating sites are discouraging a dater to be more honest, confessional and curious. They warn you that you will be shunned, because the adage that you're fine the way you are never sold anything to anyone. Even with this mentality the online dating industry is a $56 billion dollar-a-year money generator along with a yearly creep of 6%, which is higher than inflation. Perhaps people want to believe that they can find their one true love online, instead of waiting for that person to pick up the same artichoke you did at Trader Joe's.
Interesting, documentary-style, creative non-fiction book that takes a microscope to the online dating world and gives it a good flouncing.
Armchair Interviews says: Read it for the laughs.
in "I Love You, Let's Meet: Adventures in Online Dating" (285 pages), author Virginia Vitzthum details her observations in the online dating scene, bringing the stories of 16 individuals and couples. Some have happy stories and endings (so far), many do not. Whether that is as a result of the online dating (versus in real life dating) remains unclear. The author also details very sharply how the many online dating websites that have proliferated, ultimately make doubtful, if not dubious, contributions in the bringing together of potentially interested mates.
The author also retells her own adventures, informing us that she is 0-for-65, if the end result of online dating is to find a lifetime partner. As dismall as that may look, the author observes at the same time that perhaps she doesn't want a full-time life partner: "The writes Patricia Highsmith ... told an interviewer once that she is more creative when she doesn't have to make conversation at home. A guilty thrill of recognition ran through me". I found this book to be a pleaseant, even entertaining, divertisment, and a perfect way to get through a recent 6 hour plane flight.
I wanted to know more about the book the video promotes, I Love You, Let's Meet, by Virginia Vitzthum.
The book is a mix of interviews Virginia conducted with a broad spectrum of online daters, all ages, sexual orientations, and marital status (!), interspersed with her own experiences online dating.
Virginia's writing style is also a mix: some sociologist, some memoirist, some humorist. She sprinkles salty language and sexually explicitness in with her thoughtful insights. She tells the stories of her interviewees and adds perspective to what she hears.
It is not a light read, but instead one which seriously examines the motivations and experiences of online daters. However, the serious parts are balanced with some irony and humor, so you don't stay mired in seriousness so long as to be tedious. The opposite in fact, as you want to read more of the world she examines through the stories her interviewees tell. But unlike other memoir/story-based books, she doesn't ply the experiences for humor by making fun of the storytellers or her own former dates.