Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ Free Shipping
+ $3.99 shipping
Loveyoubye: Holding Fast, Letting Go, and Then There's the Dog Paperback – April 8, 2014
|New from||Used from|
Rossandra White has written a captivating memoir that takes you from the jungles of Africa to the beaches of Southern California. Rossandra writes with heart and wisdom about being abandoned by her husband, dealing with unresolved issues from the past and her great love for her dog. An entertaining, and ultimately uplifting book.
--Anita Hughes, author of Monarch Beach, Market Street, and Lake Como
“. . . a fascinating story about a childhood spent in an exotic land and a family life full of secrets.”
“. . . a bold and powerful voice…something we could all learn a lesson from.”
“Rossandra White has written a captivating memoir that takes you from the jungles of Africa to the beaches of Southern California. Rossandra writes with heart and wisdom about being abandoned by her husband, dealing with unresolved issues from the past and her great love for her dog. An entertaining and ultimately uplifting book.”
—Anita Hughes, author of Monarch Beach, Market Street, and Lake Como
“The title Loveyoubye, captures in one word the dual themes woven with grace and agility throughout this magnificent memoir—the universal and often simultaneous experiences of love and loss. As Rossandra White gathers up the pieces of her life at the culmination of a tumultuous marriage, she travels, in real time and in memory, from her childhood in Zambia (then Northern Rhodesia), to South Africa, to her adopted homeland in Southern California, and her portrayals of these journeys (and the loved ones she encounters along the way) are so clear-eyed, so perceptive and poetic, that we, the lucky reader, would happily accompany her anywhere in the world. And then there’s the dog, whose impact on the author will captivate and move you as much as any human relationship in this entertaining, profound, uplifting book.”
—Thomas White, author of Wisdom of Sons
“Maybe in the best of all possible worlds, all you need is love, but, as White reminds us in her very affecting memoir, reality is much more complicated. Any woman who has stayed in a marriage, or relationship, longer than she should have, will see herself in these pages. Anyone with half a heart will be touched by White’s guilt over a disabled brother left behind in South Africa when she came to America and whom she does her best to care for, long-distance. Then there’s the dog, Sweetpea, a Staffie, love at first sight for White. No surprise that a woman whose formative years were informed by a baboon named Archie, a Vervet monkey named Jo-Jo, and a tiny pop-eyed nocturnal creature named Little One (not to mention the Staffies she grew up with) would find solace in the loving devotion dogs give best. And with it, the courage to move on.”
—Deborah Batterman, Pushcart nominee and author of Shoes Hair Nails
From the Inside Flap
"Life must be understood backwards, [Although) . . . it must be lived forwards" --Soren Kierkegaard
If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support?
Top Customer Reviews
But White carries her own in this fantastic tale that opens to the morning rhythm of a battered relationship, related in a wry tone that immediately grabs the reader with its spirit, honesty and affection. She likes when she has her semi-estranged husband’s company in the morning and the dogs Sweetpea and Jake’s loveable antics are on display, though the couple’s opposing perspectives continue to drive them apart.
Then, just like that, she comes home from work that evening to a note that reads: “Gone to Mexico. Adios.” But it’s happened before. She isn’t shocked. What gets her is the non-conversations they have as she tries to understand.
“Okay, so are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you keep doing this?”
And so the author brings us on a trip down memory lane via stories set in Laguna Beach and her native South Africa, acquainting us to her past experiences with so many of those who have been important parts of her life, including her husband. She tells it like it is, accepting blame as well as assigning. Her style is spare, words economical, yet they are powerfully packed with emotion and layers of element that beckon us to follow her, then wollop with detail that springs up seemingly from nowhere.
"Within minutes the three of us were walking down our rustic dead-end street toward Laguna Canyon Road and the beach, the dogs trailing their leashes. I had to pass Larry’s green van, dubbed the 'Love Cage,' parked in the vacant lot next door, a forlorn sight without the battered VW beside it. That van was where we first made love. It was our motel on wheels for a trip up to Northern California ten years earlier to reunite with his two youngest adult daughters, missing for seventeen years after his ex-wife kidnapped them."
Of course, this suddenness reflects many of White’s own experiences, which she deftly analyzes, looking for clues pointing toward the reasoning behind different events, and succinctly illuminating what she finds. In this manner she transports us through episodes, including with her mentally and physically handicapped brother, Garth, back in South Africa and her beloved pets, one of whom, Sweetpea, is diagnosed with a terminal illness.
The book’s compact size is a testament to White’s skill in storytelling, which for some other authors takes a much larger space to do. And it isn’t only economy, but also how she navigates two parallel threads that run linearly until they meet, also representing a time when she herself made the necessary choices regarding addressing the issues once and for all, including her own role within them.
White’s honesty is searing, but the compassion inherent within—from the author but also others, including her husband—and her writing style brings readers into the story as we journey through the years from childhood and miles of South Africa to California. We are so connected with her telling that we shudder or rejoice at her triumphs, embarrassments, fears and achievements, even smaller ones that reflect her coming into her own.
The contradiction reflected in White’s title—the holding fast while still letting go—is a state of affairs the author lives with and we see through most of the work: conversations that say nothing, living apart in the same house, attention weighted with neglect. This plays out in other ways as well, such as her own dedication across thousands of miles, and as she begins to recognize a great deal more self-sufficiency in those she is tasked with caring for, the bearers of whom provide her, in their own unique ways, with a sort of comfort in return.
It is telling to say that the day I received the book in the mail I read five chapters on the way home. The compelling narrative finds in readers a little bit of who each of us are as we seek out our own paths. White subtly deconstructs the past, her journey laden with frankness and humor as her language wraps around us, settling in comfortably in its ability to mirror our own experiences, at the same time being very much her own story. Punctuated with photos giving glimpses into her childhood, as well as matching stories throughout the book, _Loveyoubye_ is a story of growth and forgiveness, an examination of the meaning of love and how to care for one’s self as well as others. Poignant, heart-rending, sweet and funny, White’s dexterous vision and storytelling strength brings together and reconciles opposing worlds, a union that comes with a cost, but one she brilliantly reveals without regret.
Rossandra is not alone in her quest to sort it all out, we are all doing just that. Only she is able and willing to write it.