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The Loving Dominant Paperback – April 1, 2008
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The book is well written, almost conversational. I'm not a fast reader and tend to lose interest quickly but found the book to be easy to read and engaging. Several times I had a "light bulb" moment where something my wife did/said made more sense. I recommend this to anyone that has a tendency towards either side of the BDSM relationship or has a spouse that does. Just skip the sections that don't apply to you.
I do have a few minor quibbles, however. Although I enjoyed the psychological emphasis in Warren's exploration of BDSM, I was rather disappointed that his focus was much more on the experience of play than the dynamics of a D/s relationship outside the bedroom or dungeon. I'd hoped a book with a title like *The Loving Dominant* would deal more with the kind of relationship that I'm in, a lifetime commitment in which our D/s dynamic enters (in theory at least) as much into the most mundane concerns of life as into our lovemaking. (Of course, since 24/7 relationships are relatively rare even in the world of BDSM, few potential readers may see this as a drawback.) I was also disappointed by the portion of the book written by Libby, supposedly exploring her own experiences and mindset as a submissive woman. I found very little in her words that I could relate to, which is fine - Libby and I are two separate people. I just hate to think that a dominant might read this and think that the motivations and desires of which she speaks are somehow essential to, or even typical of, the submissive mindset. I was particularly annoyed by the section in which John Warren explores the reasons a person might want to be submissive. I'm sure there are some submissives out there who are powerful people in their everyday life who enjoy letting go of responsibility for a little while, and I'm sure there are some who take pleasure in submission because it relieves them of feelings of guilt about enjoying their sexuality, but I don't fit into either of those groups and I'm tired of listening to people try to gloss over the complexity of my nature with pat explanations.
On the whole, if you're willing to overlook a few weak passages (and some very poor editing), you'll find *The Loving Dominant* a worthy addition to your BDSM bookshelf.
There are a lot of books on BDSM that are just crap. This is not one of them.
Most recent customer reviews
Lots of references and suggested reading too fog going deeper into the topics.