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Loving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself Paperback – January 5, 2001
"Rebound" by Kwame Alexander
Don't miss best-selling author Kwame Alexander's "Rebound," a new companion novel to his Newbery Award-winner, "The Crossover," illustrated with striking graphic novel panels. Learn more
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This book clearly explains why so many women find themselves in fantasy marriages and romances with real men. Beverly Engel urges women to think, evaluate, and risk rejection before they repeatedly jump into the same trap. In a gentle voice, she offers commonsense guidelines for telling the truth, learning to trust perceptions, and using solitude. --(Evelyn Streit Cohen, M.S., M.A., marriage and family therapist and coauthor of Couple Fits: How to Live with the Person You Love)
A terrific book, written with authority and sensitivity to men as well as women--(.full of useful, fresh information.--(Bradley Gerstman, Esq., Christopher Pizzo, CPA, and Rich Seldes, M.D., authors of What Men Want and Marry Me!)
"Groundbreaking, provocative, and substantial, this book will light the fire of every woman who seeks true intimacy and strength."--(Salli Rasberry, coauthor of Living Your Life Out Loud)
An abundant supply of useful strategies . Unique for its readers--(Sheila A. Rogovin, Ph.D., psychotherapist and coauthor of Couple Fits: How to Live with the Person You Love)
Again, Beverly Engel has identified a widespread problem and provided womenwith wise guidelines for bursting through it. She writes with compassion and insight. If you think you are a 'disappearing woman, you will drink in this book as if it were a health-giving elixir. It is!--(Susan Page, author of How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together and If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?)
"Loving Him without Losing You is a powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read!"--(Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know and Are You the One for Me?)
"This is a book of depth and power. I highly recommend it not only to women who lose themselves in their relationships with men but to the parents of adolescent girls who need to be taught how to view themselves as valuable beings separate from their relationships with men and boys."--(Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son and A Fine Young Man)
"When I was in college, we were all Disappearing Women. We didn't even think about it; that's just the way things were. Some of us grew out of it; some didn't. If we all had had this book, our lives might have turned out much differently. Buy this book so you can become your authentic self."--(Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells)
"In Loving Him Without Losing You Beverly Engel offers powerful wisdom and insight concerning the age-old problem of women losing themselves in their relationships with men. Unlike so many others, Beverly doesn't take the easy way out by blaming men but instead explores the phenomenon from a biological, cultural, and psychological perspective and offers women empowering suggestions about how to take responsibility for changing their situations."--(Patti McDermott, author of How to Talk to Your Husband; How to Talk to Your Wife)
"Loving Him Without Losing You is a wonderful resource and guide to finding oneself and tapping into creativity as a part of one's foundation for a life well lived. I recommend it highly."--(Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D.,author of Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams andThe Creative Journal)--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Back Cover
Are you a Disappearing Woman?
"Beverly Engel has identified a widespread problem and provided women with wise guidelines for bursting through it. She writes with compassion and insight. If you think you are a Disappearing Woman, you will drink in this book as if it were a health-giving elixir. It is!"Susan Page, author of How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together and If Im So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?
"This remarkably helpful book offers new insights into why so many women surrender their individuality in relationships. Dont wait until your hair is on fire to read it."Maxine Schnall, founder and Executive Director of Wives Self Help
"A book of depth and power. I highly recommend it not only to women who lose themselves in their relationships with men but to the parents of adolescent girls who need to be taught how to view themselves as valuable beings separate from their relationships with men and boys."Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son and A Fine Young Man
Do you frequently find yourself putting your lovers needs ahead of your own? Do you tend to lose yourself in your romantic relationships? Have you ever neglected your career, your friends, or even your health while in the midst of a love affair?
Now, in this landmark book, Beverly Engel examines the intricate reasons why so many women submerge themselves in their relationships with menand offers a straightforward, empowering program that you can use to free yourself from the powerful grip of this all-too-common problem and rediscover yourself as a Woman of Substance.
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I've read a bunch of other self-help books before, but many were too academic or too cute-sy. This was the one that I held close as a guidebook in my journey of self-understanding and change.
Beverly Engel gives you a concrete way of assessing how much of a "disappearing" woman you are with questions that will make you stop and REALLY think. Then, she leads you to commitments to care for yourself more as a woman (and this is not fruity, cheesy advice) AND your man. Other self-help books sometimes paint men as the villains in a woman's quest to find and love herself. But, Beverly Engel shows you that by respecting your own boundaries, you're loving him, too. (Read it to find out why because she explains it so well.)
Before you think this book is just for the emotionally abused, it's not. I've never been in an abusive relationship, and no one would ever describe me as a weak woman, but this book has helped me say good-bye to so-so relationships and to giving more than I felt comfortable or than was right. It helped ready me for an equal and truly loving relationship. I consistently recommend it to all my girl friends, whether they are single, married, or exclusively dating.
Do not become powerless for 'love', you will lose your individuality.
This book is one of "the best" self help books I've ever read (and I've read a lot). Beverly Engel writes the book as an answer from a woman that has suffered the "disappearing women syndrome" herself, and directed TO WOMEN.
I would highly recommend this book to every woman, irrespective if you think you are that kind of woman or not. We all, at some point in our lives, have "disappeared" in a relationship. This book explains you why, and gives you tips on how to avoid it in the future.