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Loving What Is, Revised Edition: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by [Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell]

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Loving What Is, Revised Edition: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life Kindle Edition

by Byron Katie (Author), Stephen Mitchell (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

4.6 501 ratings

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Discover the truth hiding behind troubling thoughts with Byron Katie’s self-help classic.

In 2003, Byron Katie first introduced the world to The Work with the publication of Loving What Is. Nearly twenty years later, Loving What Is continues to inspire people all over the world to do The Work; to listen to the answers they find inside themselves;and to open their minds to profound, spacious, and life-transforming insights. The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light.

Loving What Is shows you step by step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. In this revised edition, readers will enjoy seven new dialogues, or real examples of Katie doing The Work with people to discover the root cause of their suffering. You will observe people work their way through a broad range of human problems, learning freedom through the very thoughts that had caused their suffering—thoughts such as “my husband betrayed me” or “my mother doesn’t love me enough.”

If you continue to do The Work, you may discover that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls “a lover of reality.”

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389 pages
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English
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Harmony
Publication date

December 7, 2021
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2597 KB
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

501 global ratings

5 star		77%
4 star		11%
3 star		6%
2 star		2%
1 star		4%

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An invitation to self-gaslight?

Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2023

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I agree with Byron Katie's general thesis we are makers/upholders of our own misery, but the 4 Question framework broke for me when she tried to do "the Work" with a survivor of incest in which she asked the victim to come up all the reasons why her abusive father was not a disgusting psychopath, but in fact "wonderful," the idea being (I think, the process is still a little confusing to me) that the survivor can train herself out of a victim mindset.

I'm not a mental health professional, but that approach seems like it might have the potential to re-traumatize someone already suffering from low self-worth, anxiety, depression and, yes, victimhood. It was excruciating the read the transcripts of this episode because it was clear the woman was very confused and anxious about the process. She really struggled to come up with reasons why her father was actually "wonderful." I came away feeling like Byron was inviting her to gaslight herself, to minimize the trauma she suffered by tricking herself into thinking he was actually a pretty swell guy. Like, hey, your abuse could have been a lot worse!

While I think Byron has honorable intentions, the 4 Questions framework kind of reminded me of NXIVM cult leader Keith Raniere of HBO's "The Vow" whose psychological ju-jitsuing of his followers resulted in them erasing their own feelings, experiences and reality, priming them to live inside his cult.

I'm all for looking into the mirror for why someone's life might suck, but once it dips into self gaslight territory ("your incestuous father isn't actually a monster, it's just your perception of him that is monstrous"), that's a big red flag to me.

I think the 4 Question approach is best used for typical (non-traumatic) life grievances like why am I always broke, why can't I get a date, why won't my colleague stop annoying me, etc. That kind of thing.

15 people found this helpful

Amazing the transformations in this book.

Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2023

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Thank you Katie for spreading your amazing work. I am in awe of how The Work has helped transform my life and how I think and live in the world. Thank you.

One person found this helpful

This is a Game Changer folks!

Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2022

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Are you tired of all of the stories and expectations circulating around in your head, your friends/families stories they tell you, tv and social media? Do you want to be free of all of the chatter? Then, boy is this the book for you.

This book has changed my life. I have been working on myself for years (therapy, countless classes, books, meditation, opened my own reiki studio to share all of my knowledge with others) and have made amazing changes in being a kinder, more loving human.

I have been reading this book at the end of every year for 3 years, hoping that everything would click and change my thought process. At first, there were small changes when I wasn’t living a mindful life. Little changes here and there.

I am happy to report that the complete change happened this year. I find when a negative thought pops in, I immediately put the thought right back on myself, giggle at my audacity and then release my self-defeating thought and allow joy in. It is so incredibly freeing and the only way to truly live an amazing life.

The trick is to quiet the ego and fear and choose to be free. It takes time, just as she said. She went into the desert and questioned all of her thoughts. It does require doing the work.

I give this book to each of my clients and we do the work in my studio. For the ones truly seeking change, we are finally starting to see real changes in all areas of their lives when they question the stories that have been ruling their lives.

I wish I could give everyone on earth this book. It was be amazing to see how the would could change if we were each open to living the way this book teaches you to live.

This revised edition adds more incredible stories and more information to help you work through how to do this for yourself. If you are new to working on yourself, you may need to contact one of her facilitators. When you start and your ego is predominate, you don’t find all if the different ways you can look at your story. Once you get it, it flows on its own. She offers online group meetings on her website
( thework.com) for a donation. I do recommend reading all of her books bc you learn how to question all thoughts ( even the hard ones like child abuse, rape, co-vid and death).

She also has free paperwork to assist you to do your own work. Not may folks offer free gifts without trying to sell you something but she does with her paperwork. I also love that she offers you a choice in how much you can donate to listen in on her live classes.

This angel is the real deal and I am forever grateful to her freeing me and opening me up to a wonderful, new way of living. I have this same dream for each if my clients and everyone on earth. Thank you Byron, thank you!!!

48 people found this helpful

Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2023

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I haven’t finished the book. I am still a little confused about the process and questions and how this will work. Maybe after I am finished I will have a better understanding. Good points in the beginning anyways.

2 people found this helpful

María Fernanda Delgado

Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2023

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Powerful book of you really want to go deeply on your spiritual practice. Must have !

Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2023

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Four simple questions could
make a big difference in your thinking. I found what was hidden for many years and I just couldn't find it.

One person found this helpful

Want to evolve your thinking?

Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2023

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Katie’s work is mind blowing. It’s simple and profound. I recommend the audiobook to go with the book. The book is handy for the work, but you can’t beat hearing Katie do the work live.

2 people found this helpful

Stop the suffering

Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2023

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I found this book to be extremely helpful with many situations in my life; the traumatic loss of my husband, my relationship with my daughter, my thoughts about men and dating, and people in general, just to name a few. I like the concept of understanding that our thoughts are what really hold us hostage to finding peace, joy, acceptance, happiness, or whatever the case may be. I'm excited to use the questioning technique to end the suffering.

5 people found this helpful

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sue h

Wasn't keen on the book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 20, 2022

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This book would be okay for someone training to do this. Gives yo food for thought though

Claire P

Amazing way of questioning your thoughts

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 13, 2022

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The Work is quite revolutionary. An amazing way to question and analyse your thoughts.

One person found this helpful

Daniel Chatfield

Book arrived torn

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 3, 2022

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Book back cover arrived completely torn off!!

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Leopoldo Velez Brun

Excelente contenido.

Reviewed in Mexico on March 20, 2023

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Excelente contenido!!! Fácil de leer, todos los conceptos son altamente aplicables (lo cual aprecio mucho!), la aplicación de los mismos produce excelentes resultados. Si haces el trabajo, verás los resultados, esa es mi experiencia. Muy recomendado para aquellos que ya están cansados de vivir en víctima y en conflicto con la vida. Bendiciones.

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Edcom

Makes a Lot of Sense

Reviewed in Canada on January 19, 2023

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There are a million ways belief systems can hold us back. In this book, Byron Katie has a simple solution to moving past those thoughts that loop through your head and prevent growth. It's a simple process - that doesn't mean it's easy to do but it's worth it. Still working on it.

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