Lumber vs Jack
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Jack Woods is a simple man who finds himself in an extraordinary situation when he must rescue his estrange wife, Jill, from Genetically Modified killer trees. Jack soon finds himself the leader of a rag tag group of heroes out to save the world from the wildly spreading vegetation.
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The Unlikely Heroes Determined to save Humanity from this new scourge is Lead by Jason Liquori himself, as 'Jack', the Unemployed Nature Loving Divorce' Hunting for his Ex-Wife 'Jill' portrayed Perfectly by DEBBIE ROCHON ! I Love how Ms. Rochon remains in a completely Straight Mode despite the Absurdity all around her ; & She's just one of the Dazzling Beauties fighting for Survival !
Lovely Christina Daoust is 'Sheila', the Doubtful Heroine who, along with 'Jill' helped create the Problem ! MICHELLE PRENEZ is Wonderful as the Alluring 'Michelle' who along with her Best Friend 'Jody' jump from one dilemma into the next . Curvaceous & Ulta-Beauteous JENNIFER WENGER is Brilliant Her Dual Role as 'Jody' & the Bikini-Clad Web-Cam Girl 'Carly' !
The Money Hungry & Compassion-Free Villain in this motley assortment of characters is 'Brad', played with delightful exuberance by BREWIER WELCH; & making her Film Debut is the always appealing XENA LIQUORI as the frightened but bold canine, who needs no Voice-Over !
I'm Now embarking on my quest to watch the Sequel "Jack Vs. Lanterns' with Full Confidence of an Enjoyable Mission !
I am about 1/3rd in and find myself needing breaks. The story is about as deep as any Troma feature. The actors seem to have been recruited from friends and family. The dialog is bad and at times barely audible. The special effects are right in line with the previous items.
Why 3 stars? I find myself giggling too this film. It reminds me a lot of what a bunch of 3rd to 5th graders might have put their heads together and made as a Green awareness PSA for a class project and afterward their proud parents tried to make it come to life. The complete lack of polish and horrible effects create a somewhat rugged charm.
I normally like B - F rate flicks... but this one is SO bad that it probably wouldn't even qualify for the guys who do stuff like MST3K... |
fyi... this is literally the first 1 star I've ever given on any movie to date... and I've watched hundreds...