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Lust in Translation: The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee Hardcover – April 19, 2007

by Pamela Druckerman (Author)

28 customer reviews

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An analysis of infidelity practices throughout the world offers insight into how adulterous relationships are practiced differently from country to country, discussing how fidelity is tolerated and accepted in other cultures while explaining the role of morality in how affairs are conducted in the United States.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Former foreign correspondent for the Wall Street Journal now living in Paris, Druckerman offers an anecdotal rather than a scholarly exploration of the international etiquette of adultery. From American prudishness about the subject to French discretion, and from Russian vehemence about the obligatory affair to Japanese adherence to the single marital futon, one factor rings true in all cases: people lie about sex. Druckerman interviews numerous adulterers, starting with the conflicted Americans who "gain status by radiating an aura of monogamy" while sneaking around on the side; guilt more often than not brings them to confession and absolution by therapy. Druckerman is at pains to uncover reliable statistics about infidelity where such research is suppressed, such as in Islamic countries or those formerly Communist; in contrast, Finland demonstrates the best sex research, e.g., clearly half of men there enjoy "parallel relationships." Druckerman concludes from one study that people in warmer climes cheat more (Scandinavia is the exception), while people in wealthy countries tend to cheat less than those in poor countries (exception: Kazakhstan). Druckerman found that the rules of sexual cultures differ widely: adultery is the least dangerous social evil in Russia, while in Japan, buying sex doesn't count as cheating. Druckerman's work is quirky, digressive and media quotable. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Here's a surprise: the U.S., which in the past 30 years has grown more open-minded about some sexual issues (such as homosexuality and premarital intercourse), has at the same time grown substantially stricter when it comes to extramarital affairs. Americans are vehemently against adultery, ranking it just a bit below polygamy and human cloning on the list of major no-nos. But in many other countries adultery is not such a big deal--often it's accepted if not formally condoned. In her quest to find out what it is about extramarital sex that provokes such widely differing reactions, the author visited 10 countries, including the U.S., Russia, Japan, and France, and spoke with adulterers, cuckolded spouses, sexologists, marriage counselors, and other interested parties. Interestingly, there seems to be no generally accepted view of adultery. Is it a sin, or a harmless pastime? It depends on whom you speak to, and where you speak to them. This engagingly written, intellectually provocative book is sure to be hotly debated by special-interest groups and individuals who think they know what's best for everybody else. David Pitt
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product details

Series: The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee
Hardcover: 304 pages
Publisher: Penguin Press HC, The; First Edition edition (April 19, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1594201145
ISBN-13: 978-1594201141
Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 1.1 x 9.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 28 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,500,375 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2081 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family
- #2696 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Sexual Health > General
- #5418 in Books > Self-Help > Sex

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Mercedes von Uppity

April 26, 2011

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I enjoyed Lust in Translation. I found it to have a good balance between am overly (Social) Science approach that would drain the topic of all general interest, and keeping it light and accessible. Call it "pop" social science if you will.

The discussion is backed up by research, but the real insights are what she extracts from the numbers vs. cultural stereotypes/expectations on cheating - e.g. that in America it's our narrative about "the lies". (I don't want to tell you too much.)

I would consider this book "pop anthropology" (and I am an Anthropologist) as it gives insight into the psyche - on a cultural level - behind infidelity and how we view it. All in all, a very enlightening (on different concepts/ideals re: cheating) and fascinating read.

4 people found this helpful

Comment

May 22, 2012

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Interesting and insightful look at the way different cultures handle infidelity, cheating, lying, and marriage. I couldn't put this book down! Her interviews and historical anecdotes are very eye opening in the way each culture views relationships.

Comment

A work that gives a general view on the subject from targeted respondents (not everyone will talk about infidelity)

April 22, 2015

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

This book gave a brief view of how infidelity is viewed in different countries. The author was very upfront on the challenges that she had with getting historical data and the methodology she used in gathering anecdotal information in the countries she visited. This book is not presented in an academic manner but reads more like a long magazine article. It entertaining because the reader as able to see how different cultures approached relationships and was made more fascinating because this is not a subject that the average visitor to a country would be able to discuss and get perspectives from a variety of persons. I liked this book and as long as the reader understands that the subject matter is being presented in a superficial way having being investigated by one person it should be a satisfying read.

Comment

A good qualitative analysis

October 17, 2007

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Despite the lack of quantitative data, Pamela Druckerman is giving an interesting perspective of what adultery is and means over the world. Even though the author's perspectives are a bit culturally biased (she is American), she points rightfully elements of culture, of sociology, of moral, of religion which explain at least what is considered as "cheating" or not.

The limits of this book lie in the fact that it sometimes fall into cultural cliches and a certain ethnocentrism. The author, a former Wall Street Journal journalist based in Paris (France), remains partially prisoner of her own culture.

However, this is a stimulating reading, which opens interesting perspectives for cross-cultural couples, but also our unformulated conceptions of what is a "good couple".

3 people found this helpful

Comment

An excellent read

January 16, 2013

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book is a fascinating look at gloabal sexuality that reveals how culture affects gender roles. The western world - perhaps all else also - are too quick to believe their way is best. I found that we all share common sexual desires but face segmented values. This book is worth the purchase page by page.

Comment

March 6, 2014

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Informative though probably inconclusive. She gives us a sneak peak of people's lives in different continents so it was quite interesting. A good airport read for those very interested in the subject!

One person found this helpful

Comment

This was so boring I couldn't finish it

August 23, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

So disappointing! Normally I adore everything she writes. This was so boring I couldn't finish it.

Comment

It's difficult finding things no one wants you to know...

June 12, 2010

Format: Hardcover

While I agree with some of the reviewers that argued the book lacked much factual basis, it does indeed have some stats and figures for those that are interested in quantifying things so simply. While one reviewer pigeon-holed the book as "more of a padded magazine piece than anything else" I see it differently. Much differently, in fact...

The problem with books like this is that they are trying to pry into the minds of people who don't want to share their indiscretions in many cases. Ever heard "once a cheater, always a cheater"? You're more likely to get a decent look at the mind of a serial killer than a cheater. The book takes a lofty goal of trying to figure out when, why and how much cheating actually has taken place in the past, present and future; and it accomplishes that goal. Mostly.

I think it's worth the read. It has some interesting stats and anecdotal evidence that shatters some misconceptions. Such ideas I had before reading this book was that cheating was far more commonplace than it is and that cheating in certain cultures is openly accepted. You hear it a lot (at least in America) that the French invented a word for threesomes because they are so open about sex.

2 people found this helpful

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