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MY self: An autobiography of survival Paperback – April 12, 2017

4.8 out of 5 stars 114 ratings

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'MY self', an autobiography of survival by Kelley Kitley, LCSW. "By 2015, approximately 1 in 25 adults in the U.S.—10 million—experienced a serious mental illness in a given year that substantially interfered with or limited one or more major life activities," Chicago Psychotherapist Kelley Kitley will tell you; adding, "I should know, I was one of them."Indeed, approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million—experiences mental illness in a given year. Additionally, mood disorders, including major depression, dysthymic disorder and bipolar disorder, are the third most common cause of hospitalization in the U.S. for both youth and adults aged 18–44. Left untreated, the resulting symptoms range from alcoholism and drug addiction to incarcerations, homelessness and suicide.Despite these statistics, nearly 60% of adults with a mental illness didn’t receive mental health services in the previous year. Why be alarmed? The majority of those living without treatment are women, despite the fact that along a spectrum that includes generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, posttraumatic stress disorder and major depressive disorder, women are twice as more likely to be affected than men. In 'MY self', debut author, columnist, speaker, and social worker Kelley Kitley shares a near mythical Phoenix rising tale of triumph against easily considered insurmountable odds, such as an eating disorder, sexual assault and alcohol abuse that plunged her deeper into the abyss. Far from another crash and burn autobiography of grief, 'MY self' lays bare the vulnerability and isolation unique to Kitley, and to women in general, while revealing the transformation of loss into a surplus of riches beyond even the very author's wildest imagination.
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About the Author

Kelley Kitley is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice and owner of SERENDIPITOUS PSYCHOTHERAPY, LLC in downtown Chicago. She has been a featured Expert Contributor in over 100 publications including The Wall Street Journal, Shape, SELF, Huffington Post, Women's Health Magazine, Chicago Tribune, and Chicago Parent Magazine. Kelley is recognized as an International Women's Mental Health Expert specializing in postpartum issues, anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationships.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ April 12, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 202 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1544864817
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1544864815
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.7 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.51 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 out of 5 stars 114 ratings

About the author

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Kelley Kitley
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Kelley Kitley, LCSW, is CEO and Founder of SERENDIPITOUS PSYCHOTHERAPY, LLC. She is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice and has treated patients in Santa Monica and Chicago for the past twelve years. An action oriented therapist, she believes the therapeutic process is a partnership and she works with clients using a holistic approach to achieve their mental health goals. While she predominantly uses positive psychology and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help clients heal and become the best version of themselves, she has a eclectic array of experience and specialized training to draw upon.

Her areas of expertise include anxiety and panic disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression. Kelley also works with patients in longer term treatment to work through, rape and sexual abuse traumas, eating disorders, substance abuse, loss and phase of life issues. Kelley is particularly effective working with women and their partners through pre- and post-natal anxiety and depression, and in the area of sexual dysfunction.

Kelley has been featured as an expert women's mental health expert in over 100 national publications, podcasts, radio, and tv including WSJ, Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Women's Health Magazine, Fitness Magazine columnist, NBC, NPR, and WGN.

******************

Kelley grew up as the eldest child in a chaotic household above the family tavern in a Chicago neighborhood with two charismatic alcoholic parents, four younger siblings; and a colorful extended family close by. As a teenager, after recovering from an eating disorder, she knew she wanted to be a therapist to help others heal from traumatic childhoods. Her experiences as a student at an all girl’s school were influential years in her life. Kelley’s opportunities from ages 15-18 provided her an outlet to develop competence, confidence, resiliency, and take initiative and responsibility for her own future inspite of her dysfunctional family dynamics. She immersed herself in service projects and developed passions for social justice and spirituality.

At 17, she earned the WGN Extra Effort Award for dedication to service, for riding her bike from Minnesota to Chicago to raise money for AIDS research, and for her work as a camp counselor for people with Muscular Dystrophy.

In college, after spending a month in Guatemala working in an orphanage through her university’s Campus Ministry Program, Kelley felt called to move to California to be an Americorps volunteer for City Year. She spent her “off-year” working with immigrant inner-city youth and their families developing programs for educational success. After completing the service year she earned a scholarship and studied abroad in Spain with hopes of becoming fluent in the Spanish language that she might better serve the populations she worked with. Kelley went on to studying at the University of Illinois at Chicago and earn a Bachelors and Masters degree in Social Work. Kelley was a caseworker in child welfare, traveled to El Salvador to build Solidarity, ran and coached marathons, and worked at her parents’ bar to pay cash for tuition to avoid student loans. She survived personal adversity when her parents divorced shortly after she first left for college, and again at age 22 when she experienced a random act of violence and a sexual assault which ultimately impacted her development as a woman, a person, and a professional counselor. Her capacity for resilience remained steady.

She married her husband in 2004 and moved to Santa Monica; again taking a leap of faith to try something new. In Southern California she was grateful for the experiences of living blocks from the beach and working 4 years at a Catholic High School as a counselor, religion and health teacher, starting her own family, and starting her first private practice. Three children later with a desire to be closer to the “village” to help raise her energetic children, she and her family moved back to Chicago.

Kelley specializes in women’s mental health motivated by her own personal struggles with substance abuse that began at age 12 and her postpartum anxiety after each of her four pregnancies. She’s committed to leaving a legacy of healthy family dynamics in her own nuclear family and in all the lives she impacts.

Her friends, family, and colleagues describe her as authentic, genuine, focused, motivated, inspiring, driven, compassionate, and empathic. She has a gift to “tell it like it is” in a gentle, non threatening way. Kelley seeks the privilege of sharing her energy and expertise through 'MY self' with national motivational speaking engagements at treatment facilities, media appearances, social media,-blogging, and clinical work.

Her autobiography is a story of adversity and trials in youth, lessons learned as life was lived courageously, and triumph and healing as an adult. The decades of turbulent years of navigating addiction in her self and her extended family inform the woman in recovery and the counselor she is today.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
114 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this autobiography inspiring and emotionally engaging, appreciating the author's honest and real approach to life. The book is praised for its readability, with one customer noting it's a must-read for those struggling with substance use disorders. Customers praise the author's strength and resilience, with one review describing it as a superb story of survival, while others highlight the humor in the face of life's challenges. The book receives positive feedback for its value as a gift and its heartfelt content.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

41 customers mention "Enlightened content"41 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's content enlightening and inspiring, with one customer noting its honest and real approach to life.

"...She provides the reader with insight and understanding about the connection between trauma and addictions...." Read more

"...I identified with her strength, her truth, her vulnerability and specifically the consciousness she still carried for her role in her own story...." Read more

"...Each humbling account leaves you with a nugget of knowledge or thoughtful insight that all together form a brave, wonderful, wide-angle lens that..." Read more

"...Most impressive and inspiring in my mind is Kelley’s ability and choice to accept the fact that she can’t change others, but doesn’t need to stop..." Read more

28 customers mention "Authenticity"28 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's authenticity, describing it as raw and real, with one customer noting how the author writes with heart and humor.

"...I identified with her strength, her truth, her vulnerability and specifically the consciousness she still carried for her role in her own story...." Read more

"...Her soulful and spirited voice, full of honesty, strength and forgiveness, provide the opportunity for others to learn from her experiences...." Read more

"Kelley Kitley is an intelligent and brave author to expose the good,bad and ugly in her life and try to make sence of it all...." Read more

"...It is a beautifully written, raw and real!..." Read more

23 customers mention "Readability"23 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as an amazing, wonderful, and incredibly enjoyable read. One customer notes it's a must-read for women, while another mentions it's particularly valuable for those battling substance use disorders.

"This book is a must read for anyone battling with substance use disorders. Kitley talks openly about her painful and traumatic experiences...." Read more

"...of knowledge or thoughtful insight that all together form a brave, wonderful, wide-angle lens that you can’t help but use to find more perspective..." Read more

"...Not once was I bored, or did my mind wander like it usually does during the task...." Read more

"...My Self is a book that one of the best books I have ever read." Read more

13 customers mention "Strength"13 positive0 negative

Customers praise the book's strength, highlighting its resilience and vulnerability, with one customer describing it as a superb story of survival.

"...I identified with her strength, her truth, her vulnerability and specifically the consciousness she still carried for her role in her own story...." Read more

"...Her soulful and spirited voice, full of honesty, strength and forgiveness, provide the opportunity for others to learn from her experiences...." Read more

"...This is a story about empowerment, resilience, and moving forward...." Read more

"...She is humble but strong. I very much enjoyed reading her story to watch her persevere and be resilient in the face of so many challenges." Read more

10 customers mention "Humor"10 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's humor, particularly how the author maintains a positive attitude in the face of life's challenges, and find it intelligent and beautifully written.

"Kelley Kitley is an intelligent and brave author to expose the good,bad and ugly in her life and try to make sence of it all...." Read more

"...In this well written and witty book, she leaves the reader feeling hopeful- that they too can overcome and make meaning of life's adversities...." Read more

"...Her honesty, bravery, and humor in the face of life are truly inspiring...." Read more

"Kitley has written an autobiography that is raw, at times humorous, warm, and easy to relate to...." Read more

5 customers mention "Book value"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a true gift, with one mentioning how it serves as a gift of telling her story.

"...This book is a gift and I look forward to reading more from her in the future." Read more

"...She is humble but strong. I very much enjoyed reading her story to watch her persevere and be resilient in the face of so many challenges." Read more

"...She possesses a gift of telling her story through her written word. Her strength is admirable and makes you want to be stronger. Get it girl." Read more

"This book is a true gift. Everyone can relate to a piece ok Kelley’s story...." Read more

4 customers mention "Heartfeltness"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the heartfeltness of the book, with reviews mentioning themes of self-compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness.

"...Her story helps the reader look at their experiences with love and self-compassion, which is essential in the healing process...." Read more

"...Her soulful and spirited voice, full of honesty, strength and forgiveness, provide the opportunity for others to learn from her experiences...." Read more

"My Self is a book about healing, hope, gratitude, and serendipitous events that cannot be chalked up a coincidence...." Read more

"...It was raw, emotional, & heartfelt! What a fantastic read! Highly recommended!" Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on December 28, 2024
    This book is a must read for anyone battling with substance use disorders. Kitley talks openly about her painful and traumatic experiences. She provides the reader with insight and understanding about the connection between trauma and addictions. Her story helps the reader look at their experiences with love and self-compassion, which is essential in the healing process. I will be recommending this book to many of my clients and colleagues. Once I started reading the book, I could not put it down! Shari Botwin, LCSW and author of "Stolen Childhoods," and "Thriving After Trauma."
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2018
    I found out about this book when I saw Kelley on Meghan Kelly. I instantly connected with her story, but the emotion she exhibited in telling her story resonated something deep within me. I identified with her strength, her truth, her vulnerability and specifically the consciousness she still carried for her role in her own story. It wasn't shame I witnessed, it was what was once a deep pain that she worked tirelessly to accept, forgive and overall heal from. Reading her book did not disappoint from what I witnessed for about 2 minutes on national television. Her story was so similar to my life that I instantly felt a sense of calm. I did not find myself embarrassed for Kelley and the details of her life as I read through the pages. In fact, I had to hold myself back from jumping forward to the end to see how different event s and relationship in her life turned out. The book has given me the confidence I needed to realize that writing my story can be a reality and I will survive in telling it. This book must be read. It is a game changer and if you allow it to seep into your soul, you will forever be grateful for the strength it gave you. Thank you Kelley!
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2017
    Kelley's innate ability to share the intimate and vulnerable details of her story transport you right to the moment with her as she searches, struggles, survives and succeeds in life. Her soulful and spirited voice, full of honesty, strength and forgiveness, provide the opportunity for others to learn from her experiences. Each humbling account leaves you with a nugget of knowledge or thoughtful insight that all together form a brave, wonderful, wide-angle lens that you can’t help but use to find more perspective when looking at our own lives and selves.  This book is a gift and I look forward to reading more from her in the future.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2017
    MY SELF is a story that can touch anyone’s heart. Kelley makes you feel like you are chatting with an old friend. Whether or not your life story and struggles resemble Kelley’s, you’ll be able to relate to the decisions she makes and the ways she fights throughout the different stages of her childhood and as a young adult. Although Kelly has fought a hard battle, not once do you have to feel sad or worried while reading this book. This is a story about empowerment, resilience, and moving forward. Most impressive and inspiring in my mind is Kelley’s ability and choice to accept the fact that she can’t change others, but doesn’t need to stop loving them. This page-turner enforces my beliefs that a rough upbringing or any other rough patch in life does not mean you need to have a rough ending. The courage it takes to share the story of any struggle is essential to growth, change, moving on, and helping others. Please check out this important read.
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2017
    I finished MySelf in 3hrs, which is a compliment to the author bc I do not read often unless the book really interests me. Not once was I bored, or did my mind wander like it usually does during the task. I smiled and I cried through the inspiring story that has shaped Kitley into the successful woman she is today! The book has lead me to believe I was not alone in my behaviors as a young adult, and I am not alone in the challenges I face in motherhood. Kitley is an appealing author to me bc she mixes her real life experience in with some advice as a trained professional. I think it is great that she has put her story out, and I have already passed it on to my gal pals. I know I will read it again, and I hope there will be future books to read by Kitley.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2017
    Kelley Kitley is an intelligent and brave author to expose the good,bad and ugly in her life and try to make sence of it all. It was interesting to me as I knew some of the people,places and experiences in the book as I have lived and worked in various parts of the City of Chicago for almost 60 years. I knew first hand the competitive and talented family she had when she was younger, not knowing all the struggles and setbacks. I found this book helpful to me in dealing with family setbacks and struggles of my own. It is how you take care of yourself, that defines how you move forward in your life. My Self is a book to be read at various stages in your life.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 8, 2019
    Kelley does an exquisite job sharing her truth with the world. It takes so much bravery to write about what brings us to where we are and acknowledge the hurt that has surrounded us. Kelley's words help scrape away the stigma that comes with sharing something that may be difficult for others to hear. As a mental health professional, I believe this book belongs in every treatment center library. It is a beautifully written, raw and real! A book like this can make a huge difference in someone's recovery and really anyone who wants to be a part of her journey. Thank you for your bravery Kelley!
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2017
    Do you know those books you just delay in finishing? Those ones you relate to and you just don't want want to put down, you don't want the story to end, the support the book provides to stop, the hug it gives you.
    That is My Self. Kelley gives such a honest and real approach to life, no apologies and no regrets. She address life and big issues head on and allows you to revisit them with with you. Kelley is raw and real and makes you feel like you can manage these life tribulations without feeling like a bad parson. My Self is a book that one of the best books I have ever read.