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The Majesty of Your Loving; A Couple's Journey Through Alzheimer's Paperback – January 8, 2008

4.7 out of 5 stars 21

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When Olivia and Hob received his diagnosis of Alzheimer s, the enormity of that prospect propelled them to make a pact with one another: they would navigate the illness consciously and lovingly to the end. The Majesty of Your Loving: A Couple s Journey Through Alzheimer s is their courageous story. Given this couple s rich background in psychology, Buddhist meditation, and the wisdom traditions, they were able to handle the pain and promise of the illness with unusual thoughtfulness. The author not only writes about the inspirations and spiritual perspectives that sustained them, but gives an intimate account of how they faced loss, crisis, and eventually death. This book has a distinctively positive and uplifting tone, revealing that ultimately their experience was about growing in wisdom and deepening in love. An indispensable guide for anyone dealing with loss, each chapter includes a self-help section with reflections, suggestions, and seed thoughts. This memoir, unique for its inclusive spiritual orientation, provides both hope and practical approaches to anyone dealing with mental loss or diminishment of any kind.

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About the Author

Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle is a writer, therapist, and dharma teacher. She taught at the Mind/Body Medical Institute, affiliated with Beth Israel and Deaconess Hospitals, where she pioneered how to bring meditation, yoga, and cognitive therapy into the medical domain to treat stress-related and chronic illness. She helped to develop one of the first training programs in Mind/Body medicine in the country and trained health professionals through Harvard Medical School. Her teaching and training are inspired by over thirty years of practice in psychology, Buddhist meditation, and the wisdom traditions. Having taught contemplative practices in a wide variety of settings from government agencies to school systems, she now focuses on elder issues, spirituality, and aging. Olivia has graduate degrees in psychology from Lesley University and in history from Columbia University.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Green Mountain Book; 1st edition (January 8, 2008)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 314 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0979321808
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0979321801
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.25 x 1 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 21

About the author

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Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle
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Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle, a writer and teacher, was formerly the Associate Director of the Mind/Body Clinic and a Teaching Fellow of the Mind/Body Medical Institute, where she pioneered how to bring meditation, yoga, and cognitive behavioral therapy into the medical domain to treat stress-related and chronic illness.

Olivia's teaching and writing are inspired by over forty years of practice in psychology, Buddhist meditation, and other wisdom traditions. She has practiced primarily Vipassana (Insight Meditation) and Tibetan Buddhism, as well as in a devotional tradition from India.

Having taught contemplative practices in a wide variety of settings such as government agencies, hospitals, churches, businesses, school systems, and meditation centers, she is currently focusing on conscious aging, elder issues, and living the contemplative life.

An elder with two grown children and four grandsons, she lives in Massachusetts and loves to spend time in Vermont where she grows vegetables, welcomes family and friends and steeps herself in the glories of nature.

Learn more at www.oliviahoblitzelle.com

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
21 global ratings
Must read for anyone dealing with this disease!
5 Stars
Must read for anyone dealing with this disease!
I can't recommend this book highly enough. It is about the author's journey she took with her husband from the time he was diagnosed until his eventual decline from Alzheimer's. What made this memoir powerful to me was that it provided thoughts and advice at the end of each chapter - her writing is infused with Buddhist spirituality (her husband was senior teacher in the tradition) which gave me a different perspective on the disease as well as death and dying. She also took great care to include her husband's voice in the book - which let me understand more deeply how the disease impacts the sufferer. This book made me cry but it also uplifted my spirit and stands as a testament to human compassion and the power of love.Definitely a must read for those dealing with these challenging issues.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2008
This really is the story of a journey, told in a way that makes it a gripping story, much like a novel. Harrison Hoblitzelle, known as Hob, is diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease as we begin. His wife tells the tale, but shares a great deal in his words of what he was experiencing. Both are teachers and practitioners of Buddhist philosophy and meditation, as well as fans of great literature. The book is laced with famous quotations, guided meditations and visits to spiritual leaders for help dealing with what is happening. Hob hangs on as well as he can, but the disease erodes his memory and his ability to speak. Often he considers suicide to avoid the late stages. Olivia shares her own struggles to live in the moment and to give Hob all the help he needs without losing herself. Hob does die in the end. The reader knows that from the beginning. The question is how it will happen. This is a beautiful book, very comforting to those living with the disease, and loaded with helpful exercises and resources.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 20, 2008
As someone who is currently traversing the dark and difficult territory of a loved one's struggle with Alzheimer's, I can't say enough about this brave, honest, and illuminating book. Without ever being sentimental, it offers a very profound form of consolation, encouraging us simultaneously to bring as much clarity as we can to the process of the mind's disintegration/while remembering that what we most truly are is something that transcends the organic gray matter of the brain. After receiving a copy of the book myself, I ordered copies for two friends whose husbands are facing early-onset Alzheimers. And I also made reference to it in an upcoming article ("Awake and Demented") for Tricycle Magazine.
I am profoundly grateful to Olivia H.--not to speak of her late husband Hob--for this beautiful and inspiring book.
Noelle Oxenhandler
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2012
This book is not only beautifully written, I could not put it down because I quickly became attached to the writer and her late husband. He is a senior Dharma teacher who teaches meditation, and he is diagnosed at the age of 72 with Alzheimer's Disease. They take a mindful, largely Buddhist approach to it, committing to face it consciously and lovingly. And they do. She writes this book with clear honesty about the painful challenges of being his caregiver for 6 years, and how she and he reached out for help in many ways to assist them in this journey. This book is a gem. A keeper. Thank you, Olivia and Hob. This book is truly part of your multifaceted legacy.
Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2010
The book was very poetic while I was looking for information; however I found the information scattered about, and I was able to convert the poetic parts to my own experience and way of thinking. I found those parts to be useful also in shaping my attitudes toward helping my husband. The ordering and shipping service was great.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 13, 2010
As I read this wonderful real life story I was struck by the similiarity of all suffering. Many of the people I work with in my psychotherapy practice have trauma histories and struggle with memory lapses, helplessness, and confusion. After reading it I quickly suggested it to many clients.

Olivia's thoughtful reflections gives us access to her journey. I knew her willingness to be so real allowed me to open my heart to my own difficulties. I figured the same would be true for my clients. It has been.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2008
This sensitively written personal journey gives a whole new perspective on how people can approach terminal illness with love, authenticity, self care and care for the loved one. Olivia Hoblitzelle has written the story for both of them including her husband's self-insights and even humor through the painful journey of Alzeheimers. The truth of their journey is awesome, deeply spritual and has constructive suggestions.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2015
Beautiful and useful book for caregivers. I also recommend another one 'Relationship Rewired' by Dumas.
Reviewed in the United States on June 13, 2011
I was really looking forward to this book, having myself taught Buddhism and having an in-law deep in Alzheimer's. However, though written by a self-proclaimed expert in both Psychology and Buddhism, it soon become clear that the Hobs never escaped either their Christian upbringing or a habit of treating the world's religions as a smorgasbord - a bit of Sufi, a dash of shamanism, a dose of alchemy, a bit of Tarot... Buddha, Jesus, the prophets, rabbis, Hindu gurus: in the end, to Olivia, they're all the same; the Buddhist meditation practice called "mindfulness" no different from the Christian practice of "the presence of God."(p.158)
Most remarkable of all, the one thing that makes Buddhist Psychology Buddhist Psychology, and the one teaching of Buddhism which could help Alzheimer's patients so much - the key concept of anatta (no-self) - is never invoked and evidently never accepted. Olivia has a strong belief in the soul which she repeatedly invokes. But you can't be a Buddhist and still believe you have a soul or a self, not recognise it as a fiction kept alive only by memory. It is precisely the fading away of this false sense of soul or self which is so characteristic of Alzheimer's - scary but such a liberation that it's not surprising that true Buddhists can treat the disease as a gateway to enlightenment. Lose your memory and you lose the very medium which feeds your sense of a false self - the base of all suffering... Buddhism in this book has no such dimension, merely a feelgood aesthetic picked up in the Sixties, along with a whole lot of other fads and fancies. That, however, doesn't stop Olivia Hoblitzelle having the hutzpah and hubris to go out and teach Buddhism, long before she has even begun to understand it. It makes one wonder if the most wicked servants of Mara are such half-educated Westerners rushing out to spread a word they know so little about or the Vietnamese and Tibetan monks and Indian gurus who sell them ordination in the first place.
Hob himself was ordained and went out and taught too. But he hung on tenaciously to his self to the very end, reverting to his early Quakerism, dreaming not of enlightenment but of heaven.
None of this is to deny Olivia's compassion, her love, even her insight into one, relatively simple form of Buddhist meditation, but the real message Buddhist Psychology can have for Alzheimer's sufferers - freedom from the burden of the false self - escapes her and evidently prevented her husband finding wisdom in the end.
4 people found this helpful
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