- File Size: 446 KB
- Print Length: 57 pages
- Publisher: TED Books (February 22, 2011)
- Publication Date: February 22, 2011
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B004P1IX9U
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #684,049 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior (TED Books) Kindle Edition
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Top customer reviews
I read Cindy's book in one night, finished most of it while at the laundromat. Make Love Not Porn helped me realize that i don't have to be a "porn star" in bed all the time. You must read this book because it is a different form of sex education that you can't get in school, porn, or from your parents. Very enlightening and will change the way you have sex, for the better!
Thank you Cindy Gallop!
It's simple, really. Porn is out there, and we can dislike it, regulate it (or try to), moralize it, and proselytize against or for it, but it persists and, as she notes, has persisted for almost as long as we've been human. The problem is not porn per se, it's how porn is absorbed by the consumer. From that flows the whole genre of porn that panders not to deeply held desires, but to money and market share, depriving all sexual beings of choice and power. Therein lies the problem.
Ms. Gallop came to this realization through direct experience, a process she is not shy about sharing (but does not indulge in excessive and unwanted detail - a wonderful balance of privacy and kiss-and-tell). The men she was seeing all seemed to approach sex and love from the standpoint of "You Too Can Be Porn Star!", something that she found ultimately disturbing. How, she wondered, are these young men getting their "education" about sex? Why do they assume so many things about what a woman wants, things that, by and large, a lot of women do NOT want? Answer: they learned it by watching porn.
What sets this book apart and makes it, for me, so compelling is her ability to forgo, indeed deny, the usual tired tropes of how porn is awful and everywhere and should be banned, and our children are not safe, blah blah blah. Instead, she uproots what is at present the "job" of self-appointed, self-righteous fear mongers like Dines and in the past a feminist tirade and instead asks questions and seeks solutions. All of this is approached not from a "whack 'em" position but from a loving position. The companion message here is that the same technology that brings electronic journals and books to libraries (the same libraries used by these same children and young adults, btw) and social networking (yep, that too) has also facilitated a crippling avalanche of material, and porn is a big part of that. Is it any real surprise that young men and women have "learned" from this?
Ms. Gallop does not make any pretense of a deep analytical framework, nor does she posit grandiose solutions. Instead, she opens the door to a much wider dialog. The solutions won't come from any one project or stellar personality. The real "answer" to porn is to both enable the consumer to make intelligent, informed choices based on a full and fair knowledge (there really are good varieties of porn out there) and to promote the idea that sex and love are all about communication, not passive reception and Pavlovian "me too"-isms. To that end, she has succeeded. This book deserves a place on many shelves.
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