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Make Up, Don't Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples Paperback – March 18, 2010

3.9 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is one of America's best-known relationship experts. She has appeared on the Today show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and Good Morning America. Dr. Bonnie's work has been featured in USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and the New York Times.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media; 2 edition (March 18, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1605503606
  • ISBN-13: 978-1605503608
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1.2 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #686,975 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Stephanie Manley VINE VOICE on March 6, 2005
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I really liked this book, it seems to be lower on fluff, and higher on substance. This book will help you figure out your style and your personal needs in a relationship. She is also great at assessing your partner's needs and relationship style. This book gives sound advice, while lifting up your spirits.

Often the person that we have a great amount of internal conflict with is the exact person that can help heal wounds from childhood. Unfortunately, we come with different styles, and sometimes we need to adapt for the person that is having the harder time to commit.

She gives clear advice, and ideas on how you can best adapt to your partner without sacrificing your self respect, and dignity. Will this book work for me? It already has in helping me to reframe a past relationship, and hopefully in future ones, I can bypass some of those stumblings I have made in the past. I definate must if you think you should break up, or have broken up and want to get back together. Honestly, its just a great read to learn more about yourself.
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Format: Paperback
If you think, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is good, then this book is the ultimate. If you'll follow her techniques word for word, you will definitely get results. Every mother should give her daughter this book for sound advice on getting and keeping the love you want. It explains beautifully, how the anatomy of a relationship is like dancing the tango in the sense of connecting , disconnecting and reconnecting. The author employs very practical smart heart skills to apply to breathing life and love back into marriages that have lost their luster and courtships that are not moving in the direction of commitment. I promise that this book will be well worth it's investment many times over. Forget your therapist. This book is all you'll ever need.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Although I think this book would help many men too, I am writing this review for women. This book makes you understand why "The Rules" work. I highly recommend both, but if you read and follow this book you really don't need "The Rules". Basically it comes down to most men are "distancers" because they are afraid of commitment and women are "pursuers" because they want commitment and this book tells you when to call and when not to call and why men wait to and other things we endure in the dating process.

I don't think it helps to get someone back, but it's great for preventing break-ups. Great for single women or women in a new relationship.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I purchased this book in an effort to understand why I constantly pushed people away. I was dating a wonderful guy that was everything I ever wanted and just couldn't deal with getting "too serious". I was amazed to be reading about MYSELF on the pages. The descriptions of the "Distancer" and "Persuer" were SPOT on. With this book, I learned why I did the things I did and how to handle the situations differently (since clearly MY way wasn't working for me) Luckily, I patched things up with my boyfriend after coming to my senses after reading this book, and things are better than ever!! By the way, I purchased it on my kindle fire and liked it so much, I later purchased the actual book so I could share it with others!!
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By A Customer on February 19, 2004
Format: Paperback
This book helped me understand dynamics of my present and past relationships. While the techniques seem a little amorphous, they do work! Useful for those without a mate or significant other, too. I recommend "How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together" by Susan Page, also. These two books compliment each other well.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Unfortunately, this book does not provide much immediate help for a couple in trouble or a deeper understanding of relationships. There seems to be a good underlying theory but the stories are not in enough detail to relate to and the practical advice is limited. I believe the author knows this subject deeply but her editors should have caught that someone without that background will be challenged to understand it from this book. On the bright side, start reading this and you may quickly prefer snuggling with your partner.
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I've only read it once so far but in my 1st read of the book I did find some interesting tidbits of info that I've highlighted in order to further study/reflect on. However, I found much of the book to be very (almost continually) contradicting itself in regard to many of the topics. This book is very clearly written in `female form'. It's blatantly obvious to me that a women wrote it. This makes it a very hard read for a man OR a very hard read for anyone that doesn't fit in the author's view of how men and women normally are. That is, men are supposed to almost always be `distancers' while women are `pursuers'. If you're in the minority group of folks where these roles are flipped, you may find it an even tougher read. There is a ton of `her' and `him' in the author's writing style that contributes to the confusion. It would be a much better read if the language would've been gender neutral.

The book also had a lot of material that was strictly for single people.

Continuing the forewarning.... The author links your problems with how your parents are and as such says that unless you're willing to go `back home' and go over everyone's problems together then you will almost certainly not succeed (she's very clear about this). So, if you are a person that won't do this, or cannot for a variety of reasons, with one being that if your parents may be deceased, this book probably will not be able to help.

Again, I did find some interesting statements/concepts in this book but overall I have big issues with some of the theory, recommendations, and especially the writing style.
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