- Paperback: 272 pages
- Publisher: Revell; 2 edition (February 1, 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0800731050
- ISBN-13: 978-0800731052
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 14.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 187 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #155,215 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Making Children Mind without Losing Yours Paperback – February 1, 2005
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As the title indicates, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours is a book with a friendly, lighthearted approach. Author Kevin Leman (The New Birth Order Book) speaks directly from his experiences as a father of five and a practicing psychologist. While you won't find specific studies or statistics here, you will find straightforward, practical suggestions that often get right to the heart of troubling situations.
Leman's technique, which he refers to as "reality discipline" is based on a particular passage from the Bible, and his book is liberally sprinkled with his religious beliefs. These references will make this book a particular favorite for some readers; his stance that parents' authority comes directly from God is a fundamental principle of his text, and some parents may prefer a less evangelistic approach. That said, it's hard to disagree with suggestions such as "train yourself to be a good listener" and "give your children direct eye contact." Nearly every suggestion is coupled with a real-life example of the behavior in discussion, making for an easy read, and every chapter ends with questions labeled "to review and apply" as well as a short section of concepts to put into practice. The section dealing with divorce suggests you make a list of the chapter's suggestions you find difficult and create a plan to implement them. Leman assumes that anyone reading this book can find the time to create such plans themselves, and doesn't provide his readers with any step-by-step charts. If you're not up to creating your own action plans, you may prefer a more detailed form of help than this book offers. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
I found this book to make for interesting reading and saw a lot of valuable suggestions in it for creating harmony in the home and teaching children to mind their parents. It also has valuable suggestions for teaching a parent."--Gary Dreher, East Central Illinois Baptist Association --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top customer reviews
He emphasizes discipline over punishment using a method he calls Reality Discipline. The child can make their own decisions (except those that compromise health, or well-being) all the while loving, supporting and encouraging them. He learns by suffering the consequences of the decisions he makes. For example, if a child refuses to eat the food you make him for dinner, take the plate away and throw the food in the trash. Instead of spanking, forcing, bribing, or tempting with dessert, the child will have to face the consequences. Dinner is over. The child will go to bed without dinner that night, but will not make that mistake twice! He believes in letting children fail and through their failure, they will learn to do better next time. Dr. Leman rightly believes that it's better to get to the heart of your child by correcting the wrong behavior, and not punishing with a temporary Band-Aid spanking. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
Another book about how to raise your children. Some things work, some things don't. Every child is different. Dr. Leman presents himself like all the others do "my techniques work...the others don't" because they worked on his kids and some of his clients. And, yes, some of them do work.
My big complaint is he really doesn't address how to deal "make children mind" at the younger years (2 and 3). If you are a parent, you know how tough those years are in regards to the kids minding. His techniques DO NOT work on my 2 year old. Especially the eating part, where they either eat what is in front of them or they are excused from the table with nothing else to eat for the night. This works pretty good for my 5 year old, who will complain his little heart out but still eat as he knows the consequences. That being said, bribery and other techniques have also worked with him.
Despite that, if you have an elementary school child who is a handful (maybe this works on teenagers too?), his book gives you some good techniques to consider and thoughts to ponder in your armory of child rearing books. But, if you are looking to tame your preschooler or toddler, you might want to look elsewhere.