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The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control Paperback – May 8, 2006
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From Publishers Weekly
Did he promise you the stars and play you like a musical instrument?" Then you know the manipulative man. Psychotherapist McCoy presents a chilling exposé of 10 types of manipulators ("Mama's Boys," "Eternal Jocks," etc.) who prey on women's neediness and gullibility. This is not a feel-good book, yet it's compellingly readable. McCoy (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests) is a police consultant, and her work may be what creates the grim undertone. She uses case studies from her counseling practice, blow-by-blow deconstructions of each type's manipulative techniques and tests to determine which type the reader may be dealing with. Most valuable are the chapters on narcissists and psychopaths. These predators are the most dangerous because they can make themselves seem so appealing, flattering and fun at the beginning of the relationship. The author also has good advice for women involved with violent manipulators. In all cases, McCoy warns, "You do not 'know' a manipulative man; he has worked diligently at spinning a web of contradictions, confusion and falsehoods." Wrapping up, McCoy offers suggestions for women seeking healthy relationships, noting those who are self-confident are less likely to fall for a charmer's manipulative wiles. (June 7)
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About the Author
Dorothy McCoy, Ed.D., is an author, speaker and a psychotherapist who has been in private practice for fifteen years. Dr. McCoy is a member of the American Counseling Association, the International Society for Traumatice Stress Studies and the Association of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapists, she's the author of From Shyness to Social Butterfly and the Ultimate Book of Personality Tests.
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This book was like a breath of fresh air. I was not crazy for being frustrated with a man who always had an excuse for why he couldn't do what he promised he was going to do. I was not crazy for being angry at him when he refused to make a decision or follow through. In fact, my anger and frustration were appropriate responses, and my depression was just the result of me talking myself into the notion that I had no right to be angry or frustrated by such a 'nice passive' man.
My husband wasn't violent. In fact he was so passive, I sometimes wondered if he cared about anything at all. It was like living with a wet sponge.
The MM taught me to recognize extreme passiveness as a sign of manipulation and control. His passiveness controlled everything. I just didn't see it, because I had been conditioned to think manipulative men were more obvious and aggressive than he was.
MM helped me detach from blaming myself, in spite of what even my family thought about my decisions. It was a valuable tool on my road to recovery.
It not only helped me to recognize my ex husbands behavior as disrespectful and manipulative, but it also taught me to be on the look out for other types of manipulative men as well. Girls, this is a must read!!!! This book is like a manual for self care...You must be willing to look at yourself and what you are attracting into your life as well. You must be willing to take accountability for the way you think, and ultimately for your decisions to keep the men you do, in your life.
I highly recommend this book...