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The Manly Art of Seduction, How to Meet, Talk To, and Become Intimate with Anyone Perfect Paperback – November 4, 2009
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The Manly Art of Seduction: How to Meet, Talk to, and Become Intimate with Anyone, by Perry Brass. Belhue Press, 220 pages, $16.95 paper. Manly. Seduction. Terms sadly at odds with each other in our mature years, says Brass, a situation he rectifies with wide-ranging inclusiveness in his second self-help title, after _How to Survive Your Own Gay Life: An Adult Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships_. Think of this as that book s prequel. The emphasis isn t on sex, love or marriage as much as it is on how to achieve the kind of man-on-man intimacy that might lead to just one date, to a sexual connection, or simply to an enduring friendship. With 46 short chapters, Brass how-to advice comes with work for you tips (practice touching your own body, perform a grooming assessment) and space for a worksheet the reader s homework assignment, as it were. The book s first section covers such topics as shyness, kissing and dealing with rejection standard stuff, expressed with clear-headed commonsense. Later chapters touch smartly on too-often-avoided subclasses of seduction disability, weight, race, class, cock size, sexual dysfunction, straight men and threesomes making this a first-class primer for every taste. --January BookMarks, Nationally syndicated book review column, by Richard Labonte
The Manly Art of Seduction, How to Meet, Talk To, and Become Intimate with Anyone by Perry Brass.
Despite the more salacious connotations of the word, seduction can be an art form, believes author Perry Brass. Just as an artist lays out the colors on a palette before he can begin painting ...a good seducer knows that only by arranging the right setting and being in the right frame of mind, can the seduction take place without stalemating into a cold, awkward, and unnerving situation, he writes. Although some artists are born with innate talent, others must develop their raw skills and confidence with careful practice and guidance. Similarly, fledgling seducers will find Brass' mentorship invaluable, as he details the sometimes-rocky paths to intimacy and the difficulties that crop up in flirtatious encounters. The guidebook is aimed primarily at gay men, but Brass (author of How To Survive Your Own Gay Life) keeps his advice broad enough to be applicable to straight women as well. Because he delves so deeply into the male psyche, it might be challenging for a straight male or lesbian reader to use all of his insight, but there's still plenty of wisdom for those readers as well. Brass argues, quite effectively, that seduction isn't about ending between the sheets with someone, even though that might be the outcome. Instead, a truly creative and successful seducer understands how to make a genuine connection to others, and how to develop a sense of intimacy quickly. Although he touches on common advice like tapping into shared interests, Brass also explores deeper concepts like valor and territorialism, and his stunning chapter on rejection should be a must-read for everyone in the dating scene. Most of the time, men are not rejecting you, he writes. They're rejecting a situation they feel they can't control, and the fact that you are bringing more stress (and lack of control) into either a socially or sexually-charged situation. To make the material even more usable, Brass includes a worksheet type of section at the end of every chapter. For example, for the rejection chapter, he asks the reader to list a past rejection, and how he or she might view that person now. Only by thinking about the full circumstances of the rejection can someone move on, Brass believes. Filled with useful, practical advice, this guide is likely to make gay men feel more in control of their chance encounters, and boost some self-esteem as well. Everyone can learn the art of seduction, as Brass notes, and he provides plenty of the necessary tools and art supplies. Review Date: January 2010. Reviewed by: Elizabeth Millard --January issue of ForeWord Reviews Online
Probably the greatest gift Brass gives in his book are two concepts that breathe beneath everything that Brass writes: Vulnerability and Honesty.
We live in an age where we are in fear of something. Whether it is rejection, revealing too much about ourselves, or not being the person we want someone else to see, this fear causes many men to hold back. It may come from a place of real hurt, but it's a reality. And this is where the person that has been hurt needs to learn how to be vulnerable.
To allow others to see the real person deep down inside: to see his interests, his hurts, his concerns, his desires, and his dreams. At the same time, the seducer needs to be vulnerable as well. To risk being hurt, to risk rejection, or to just be willing to open themselves up to a person who might be able to show them a world of new experiences and ideas.
With honesty, we are often afraid to be open about our feelings and about who we are. The Manly Art of Seduction underscores the art of the seduction by helping us to become truthful people: Real men that have real feelings and real truths that we want to share. What this book does is cut through all the b.s. by offering men a way to get to an honest place so that connection can be achieved.
What Brass does so well is guide a man in how to get from the initial meeting all the way to the first date and beyond. But the brilliance of the book is that you can actually read it from the perspective of the person being seduced. The "seductee" can see just how open and vulnerable the person approaching them is being, and also see what types of responses they might end up getting back. The seductee might then see himself and begin to understand how his behavior might be affecting the situation. And in that, he might learn how to let down his own guard, and allow that connection to take place. --Kevin Taft, EDGE Magazine, Boston, March 1, 2010
About the Author
Perry Brass has published 19 books including How to Survive Your Own Gay Life, The Manly Art of Seduction, and The Manly Pursuit of Desire and Love. He has been a finalist 6 times for Lambda Literary Awards, and has won five IPPY Awards for Independent Publishing excellence. He's had 70 poems set to music, and been included in The Columbia Anthology of Gay Literature. He is a co-founder of the annual New York Rainbow Book Fair, the largest LGBT book event in the US, and the world.He also blogs regularly for the Huffington Post and JohnText New York.
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It didn't take long to realize that my inexperience and nervousness drove me toward being too forward, trying too hard to be likable, and saying so many things - and making so many moves - the wrong way. I believe that if I'd read this book and taken it to heart before that date, Mr. Promising and I would have met at least one more time. If nothing else, I would have known how to read any signs he might have given off during our first date. It also gave me some insights into my own personality that really need some work.
If only the the author had included advice on how to get a guy to consider a "reset" after a bad first date!