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Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage Paperback – February 28, 2006
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Politics, economics, greed, sex, carswithout them, matrimony wouldnt have caused the historical revolution ensuing today, concludes social historian Stephanie Coontz, in Marriage, a History. Modern marriage is in crisis; but dont pine for a return to "the good old days," when men earned money and women kept house. Dont even assume the crisis is all bad. For as Coontz reveals in this ambitious, multi-century trek through wedlock, marriage has morphed into the highest expression of commitment in Western Europe and North America; and though assumptions no longer exist regarding which partner may say "I do" to work, childcare, or other shared responsibilities, a clear set of rules about saying "I dont" (to infidelity and irresponsibility) rings loud as church bells.
"This is not the book I thought I was going to write," Coontz admits. She intended to show that marriage was not in crisis; merely changing in expected ways. But her exhaustive research suggested the opposite was true. Tracing matrimonys path from ancient times (when some cultures lacked a word for "love" and the majority of pairings were attempts to seize land or family names) through present day, she closely examines the many external forces at play in shaping modern marriage. Coontz details how societys attempts to toughen this institution, have actually made it more fragile. Her rich talent for analyzing events, statistics, and theories from a myriad of sourcesand enabling the reader to put them all in perspectivemake this provocative history book an essential resource.--Liane Thomas --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. When considered in the light of history, "traditional marriage"—the purportedly time-honored institution some argue is in crisis thanks to rising rates of divorce and out-of-wedlock births, not to mention gay marriage—is not so traditional at all. Indeed, Coontz (The Way We Never Were) argues, marriage has always been in flux, and "almost every marital and sexual arrangement we have seen in recent years, however startling it may appear, has been tried somewhere before." Based on extensive research (hers and others'), Coontz's fascinating study places current concepts of marriage in broad historical context, revealing that there is much more to "I do" than meets the eye. In ancient Rome, no distinction was made between cohabitation and marriage; during the Middle Ages, marriage was regarded less as a bond of love than as a " 'career' decision"; in the Victorian era, the increasingly important idea of true love "undermined the gender hierarchy of the home" (in the past, men—rulers of the household—were encouraged to punish insufficiently obedient wives). Coontz explains marriage as a way of ensuring a domestic labor force, as a political tool and as a flexible reflection of changing social standards and desires. She presents her arguments clearly, offering an excellent balance between the scholarly and the readable in this timely, important book. Agent, Susan Rabiner. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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It is clearly revealed how marriage has historically been about much more than two people, and that reducing the focus on love, partnership and companionship doesn't diminish its significance in the least -- on the contrary: pretending to treat it primarily as a romantic relationship is ignoring its greater role as one of the most powerful instruments in our history for mediating conflicts, establishing alliances, and in stabilizing tensions that could have been catastrophic otherwise.
The history lessons presented by this book provide powerful perspectives that will forever change how you think about human relationships and reveal, on one hand, the complexity and intricacy of this vast network of interests and interactions, but on the other hand also the simplicity of core human drives that motivate pretty much all human activity. A fascinating read!
Marriage is the one puzzling event we have in life that still does not make sense to us. Read this book it will explain it very clearly. Then we might change our view and adopt a more truthful idea of why a man and a woman want to get married.