- Paperback: 256 pages
- Publisher: Berkley (February 2, 2016)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0425282759
- ISBN-13: 978-0425282755
- Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.7 x 8.3 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #387,730 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $3.99 shipping
+ Free Shipping
+ Free Shipping
The Marriage Test: Our 40 Dates Before "I Do" Paperback – February 2, 2016
|New from||Used from|
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
"I thought this was the smartest way to prepare for marriage that I could have ever thought of." Lori Leibovich, Editor in Chief, RealSimple.com
"A 240-page love letter... Someone, somewhere is going to option this as a romantic comedy." The Washington Post
"A really charming, engaging read. In part it's because of the format, which takes each date and explains the setup, then gives readers both Jill's and Brook's perspectives...They undid nearly every reservation I had about the experiment. For starters, the dates are more revealing than you'd expect, and the couple is much more brutally honest about their shortcomings than I expected." Jezebel
"A fun, inspirational read that left me contemplating what it means to be close to my significant other... When I turned the last pages of the book, I felt uplifted and hopeful about putting effort into strengthening a relationship." WriteBrave
“A really charming, engaging read. In part it’s because of the format, which takes each date and explains the setup, then gives readers both Jill’s and Brook’s perspectives.”—Tracy Moore, Jezebel
“As a 240-page love letter, it’s rather sweet. And although I don’t want to give away the ending, I have a prediction: Someone, somewhere is going to option this as a romantic comedy.”—The Washington Post
“For couples looking for clarity about whether they're ready to marry, New York-based couple Jill Andres and Brook Silva-Braga may have created the perfect test-drive.”—realsimple.com
About the Author
Jill Andres is a business consultant who helps marketing and R&D teams create everything from cars and medicine to software and speaker systems.
Brook Silva-Braga is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and documentary filmmaker whose work has aired on HBO, CBS, MTV, National Geographic, and CNBC.
Browse award-winning titles. See more
If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support?
Top Customer Reviews
The 40 "dates" were hands on ways to take stock of and strengthen relationships both before and after marriage. I've been with my spouse (happily!) for six years and I still found myself wanting to recreate many of the experiments that had obviously served to strengthen Brook and Jill's relationship in areas that all couples stumble over, often more than once, in the course of their marriage.
They seem like intelligent, caring, and seemingly compatible people, and I loved that the premise of the book was not to "fix" a broken relationship, or change themselves, but to really fortify an already good relationship via activities meant initially just to test it. The fact that The Marriage Test was a moving, honest memoir at the same time that it nailed love truth was an added bonus.
Experiments are grouped into the major pitfall risks for any long term relationship: trust/security, money, kids, sex, in-laws, religion, communication, quality time, partnership, marriage prep, and the long haul. Most sounded terrifying, worth it, and kind of fun? Some of the 40 "dates":
Speed date to test your devotion (yes, both of you, at the same event)
Record and play back an argument (realize when your inner Bill O'Reilly is taking over)
Re-enact every sex scene you see together for seven days (monogamy is a tall order if you're not willing to spice it up sometimes )
Reveal every last bank account, debt, credit card, etc so there are no surprise bankruptcies in your ever after
Lunch date with the exes (evaluate your mutual pasts and progress)
Separately write down your ideal life timelines and compare them
Schedule and execute an 'ideal day' for your partner
Opt out of technology every night for week
Find and interview a longtime happily married couple
Write, text, or FB an in-law every day for a week (get that all important and very delicate relationship started in an open, caring way)
Take turns waking up every four hours for a week (this ~5% of actual long term baby sleep deprivation so if you can't do it I hope you can afford a night nurse)
About 36 of the tests struck me as legitimately helpful ways to strengthen and test a relationship before marriage, which makes The Marriage Test an incredible resource. The other 4-ish still seemed fun, and I wish I'd had this book six years ago.
I don't think the tests would have made my husband and I any more sure about a decision we were pretty ready to make, but they absolutely would have made some of our struggles along the way much easier to navigate. Jill and Brook could have called their book "Marriage Preppers: 40 Ways to Make Your Love a Fortress," though The Marriage Test sounds way better.
"If you wait for something perfect, you'll never take that leap," says one couples counselor in the book, and it's true. This book won't save a toxic relationship, but if you're already thinking about marriage, it will help you build a parachute for the long, exhilarating jump ahead.
The book is organized into 40 chapters, each of which follow Jill and Brook on one of 40 dates that were designed to test their compatibility and strength as a couple in areas like trust, communication, money and sex. Each chapter gives a very honest (but still charming) account of the date from both Jill and Brook’s perspectives. The dates themselves seemed ridiculous at first: speed dating with other people at the same event, having friends act out your relationship in front of you like a bizarre theatre show, or even not touching or speaking to each for twenty-four hours. Each scenario brought up really interesting questions and issues, though, which the authors might not have considered if it weren’t for each of their 40 dates.
One of the things I really loved about this book was how vulnerable and open the authors were with their viewpoints. Jill and Brook both seemed down to earth and relatable, which made reading "The Marriage Test" pretty fun, especially compared to some of the more bleak books that usually line the shelves of this genre. Throughout the book, the authors were easy to commiserate with. It’s clear that they struggled to overcome the same issues that the rest of us do in love and life. And even with all the pressure of the dates, the authors managed to keep the overall feel of the book very lighthearted. There’s also a guide in the back of the book for readers and their significant others to complete the 40 dates, too.
Any couple who’s contemplating marriage and isn’t sure if they want to take the next step should definitely read this book. Hell, anyone looking to build a more intimate, transparent relationship should read it, too. This book is truly a fun, inspirational read that left me contemplating what it means to be close to my significant other, what kind of partner I am and want to be, and whether my partner and I are truly honest about how we feel. I love that when I turned the last pages of the book, I felt uplifted and hopeful about putting effort into strengthening a relationship. Overall, this is a very charming read, and I truly think most couples will end up better off for having picked it up.
(I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review)
The level of honesty and self-awareness needed to complete the dates in this book would prove a true test for any couple. Even if you're sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, these 40 dates will strengthen your relationship and build a whole new level of closeness and understanding. I highly recommend that any couple with a desire to remain a couple read this book together. You'll laugh and cry with Brook and Jill, you'll be uncomfortable at times as you consider how you would handle each scenario, and you'll gain so much by trying these dates yourself.