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Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough Hardcover – February 4, 2010
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*Starred Review* Gottlieb, 37, made the decision to become a single parent after years of searching for Mr. Right. Four years later, when she still hadn’t found him, she decided to take a good look at her dating habits—and the dating habits of women around her—to see if the problem is not a dearth of good men but rather women’s expectations of them. Gottlieb finds that women want it all—and often aren’t willing to compromise on their list of traits their ideal mate must have. In their twenties, many women leave good relationships based on an elusive feeling that they could find something more with someone else, and they regret it down the road when their choices dwindle. It’s not that women aren’t willing to settle; it’s that many refuse to recognize that their vision of the perfect man doesn’t match reality. With the help of dating coach Evan Marc Katz, Gottlieb reconsidered her own standards in the hope of finding happiness. Gottlieb’s honest, astute analysis will resonate with many women and make them uneasy as they recognize themselves in her experiences and those of the women she interviews. Gottlieb makes a strong case in this groundbreaking work. --Kristine Huntley
"An unexpected delight. Honest and darkly comic... the truth can be liberating."
-The New York Times
"Marry Him is surprisingly, unnervingly convincing."
-O, The Oprah Magazine
"This is the smartest relationship book I've read in years."
-The Huffington Post
-Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project
-Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com
-Christian Science Monitor
-The New York Observer
"A provocative pop culture treatise... she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions."
-The Chicago Tribune
"The buzz surrounding Lori Gottlieb's newest book, Marry Him, is well- deserved... She writes with honesty and hope, and there are many people who will benefit from reading this book."
-Diablo Cody, Academy Award-winning Screenwriter of Juno
"Finally, here's a cautionary tale for anyone wondering why she hasn't found Mr. Right--with a hopeful message about the Mr. Right Nows, the Mr. Close Enoughs, and even the Mr. What the F*#%s."
-Jill Soloway, writer and executive producer for Six Feet Under and Transparent
"Engaging, hilarious, and eye-opening! Marry Him is an encouraging story about finding love by getting real."
-Rachel Greenwald, New York Times bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35
"This is a daring and wise book. Women (and men) should take Gottlieb's message to heart: 'Look for reasons to say yes.' It could change your life."
-Helen Fisher, Ph.D., Rutgers University and author of Why Him? Why Her?
"I have been very happily married for many years, and if my daughters ever ask me for advice about potential spouses, I plan to pass off a lot of what's in this book as my own sage wisdom."
-Kurt Anderson, New York Times bestselling author of Heyday and host of public radio's Studio 360
"Lori Gottlieb's smart, insightful, witty observations gleaned on her own unusual romantic path signal and important new voice in single-girl lit. The Rules turned single women needy, He's Just Not That Into You made them depressed, and Marry Him finally sets them free, preaching that in the long run, 'good enough' might be better than great."
-Amy Sohn, author of Prospect Park West
"By telling you to read Lori Gottlieb's incisive and insightful book, I hope I can make up for all the unrealistic romantic propaganda I had a hand in spreading as a former editor at a glossy women's magazine."
-Megan McCafferty, New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series
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Thank you, thank you, thank you Lori for writing this book. I swear it might be saving me from being alone in the future regretting all the awesome guys I found flaws with.
Reading the book was like having a mirror held before me. I think of several men I dated in my late 20s, early 30s that I should have given more of a chance but had all the notions in my head of what "the right one" would be like.
Well, I'm now 47 and not married. I didn't want to be a parent, but I always thought, for sure, I would marry someday.
I've resigned myself to knowing that's not likely to happen, and I think I'm cool with it now. The book helped me understand what I was doing all those years ago. I will continue my professional career as I can, bask in the life I have with friends and family and accept it for what it is: a mistake I made a long time ago that I can't change.
But for you 20- and 30-somethings out there who want to get married, read this book and then read it again. She knows of what she speaks!
The only other similar book that I can think of that I enjoyed reading as much and found it to be as useful is "Have Him at Hello".
With that said, everyone is scared of such a challenge.
I read it myself, as a guy, and I learned a lot about myself actually. I really reccomend it.