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The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives Hardcover – October 31, 2017
"Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress"
Is the world really falling apart? Is the ideal of progress obsolete? Cognitive scientist and public intellectual Steven Pinker urges us to step back from the gory headlines and prophecies of doom, and instead, follow the data: In seventy-five jaw-dropping graphs, Pinker shows that life, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, and happiness are on the rise. Learn more
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“This is one of the most important topics today that seemingly no one is talking about: how men can take care of their emotional health in a 21st century that demands it. Crucial reading for any young or struggling man."
―Mark Manson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
“The rigid ideas our culture teaches us about masculinity and femininity make it nearly impossible for real men and women to truly see and love each other. For men who want to free themselves from cultural cages―Howes’book is a life changer. For women who want to offer the men in their lives permission to be fully human―The Mask of masculinity is a vital tool. This book has the power to change lives,relationships, and our culture."
―Glennon Doyle Melton, author of #1 New York Times Bestseller Love Warrior and founder of Together Rising
“Lewis’ raw truth of what it's like to be raised as a male athlete in today's world is exactly what we need to hear. I want every football player(and athlete) to read this book so they can understand what’s possible when they take the helmet off.”
―Steve Weatherford, Super Bowl Champion, 10-year NFL veteran, Fittest Man in the NFL, father of 5
“In his new book, The Mask Of Masculinity, Lewis Howes gives us permission to honor our vulnerability so we can create deeper connections and live a better life. There's nothing sexier than our authentic truth and this book helps us harness it! Lewis transcends gender in this book - it’s just as much for women as it is for men.”
―Gabby Bernstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back
“For women, reading this book will help them to understand the men in their lives on a much deeper level―and show them ways that they can support the men they love.”
―Gretchen Rubin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Four Tendencies and The Happiness Project
“Lewis Howes is going to help a lot of men with this book.”
―Dr. Drew Pinsky, board-certified internist, addiction medicine specialist, and media personality
“Lewis blends vulnerability, insight, and profound courage to a conversation so deeply needed in this pivotal time of dismantling of a stifling and violent patriarchy. May his integrated voice echo loudly and widely as an invitation to provide more freedom and love within masculinity.”
―Alanis Morissette, Grammy award-winning singer-songwriter, musician, record producer,and activist
"The single most important book I've read on what it means to be a man. I laughed. I cried. It's a page turner that will rock you. If you're raising a son, read this book. Have a father or a brother? Read this book. Just read this book. You'll love it and be a better human because of it."
―Mel Robbins, award-winning CNN commentator, bestselling author of The 5 Second Rule, entrepreneur, and mother of 3
About the Author
Lewis Howes is the New York Times bestselling author of The School of Greatness, and a lifestyle entrepreneur. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. His podcast The School of Greatness, which has over 30 million downloads, is one of the top 100 ranked podcasts in the world on iTunes. He was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. He and his work have been featured The New York Times, People, Forbes, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Men’s Health, Fox and Friends, The Today Show and other major media outlets. Originally from Ohio, Howes now lives in Los Angeles, CA.
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As a coach who facilitates clients into more effective communication, I know that this is a tool I'm going to give to my male clients. It is so clear with built-in action steps in how to tear away those masks. It's a vulnerable read that gives great examples of how these masks can greatly effect everything in your life, even when you don't think so.
As a woman, Lewis gives me helpful tools in how to communicate with men who wear particular masks. It's already proven effective in my own relationships with men (romantic and familial). I recognize some of these masks as ones that I wear when I believe I have to compromise my femininity in order to be successful in the professional world.
As a human being, I see this information being instrumental in changing how people relate to each other. It's when we come from a place of compassion and understanding that we can be patient instead of reactive. That starts with compassion and understanding of ourselves first.
This is not a book. This is a movement that you want to be a part of...
While the focus is on the masks men wear, the truth is WE ALL WEAR MASKS. This book is about authenticity, vulnerability, self-awareness, and living your life and connecting with others in a way that is REAL... and not hiding behind who you think you're supposed to be.
As a mom of two teenage boys, I know the pressures they face and I've seen them go through different stages of adolescence, trying to figure out who they are. As a woman, I know the pressures on my end too and why women wear masks to be accepted and hide insecurities. And as someone who's been in relationships and has witnessed many of these masks, it's REFRESHING to see so many men, Lewis included, who are willing and courageous enough to explore who they truly are and not let their ego rule their interactions.
I especially appreciate that Lewis has shared a small section at the end of each chapter specifically for women -- with suggestions on how they can support the men in their lives with removing their masks. This is GOLD for relationships!
Another great aspect of the book is the various men that Lewis references. I happen to be a fan of Lewis' podcast and hear him interview people all the time. He has taken the beliefs and experiences from men (and women) of all walks of life and shares how different masks have impacted them as well.
And for the critics...this is NOT a book about men not being "masculine". Quite the contrary. De-masked men are comfortable enough in their own skin that they don't need a mask to hide behind. There is science behind masculinity, and then there are false pretenses created by society about masculinity. Knowing the difference is what makes all the difference.
This book is a must-read! Whether you want to experience more fruitful, authentic relationships, or be a better parent, or perhaps GIVE it to your parents or someone who would benefit from its message, you can't go wrong!
Lewis takes the time by showing through his own journey what unmasking can do for you personally and professionally. Stop taking what the world throws at you and peel back the layers to find the masculinity that's always been there. It's time to create your now. Let Lewis walk beside you as you go on your own journey of unmasking; a journey of YOU!
And for us women, reading this book will give you a different perspective as what a man shoulders, opening up our hearts to supporting them and loving them right where they are.
Mahalo Lewis for your openness and raw, authentic reflection!
Other than that, good stories, good insight on toxic masculinity. Some chapters seem stronger than others. I'm not sure if this is because I identify with a few of them more than others but there seems to be more attention applied in some places than others.
Finally, the anecdotes Lewis uses to set up his discussions works, but they're all people at the top of the game. And that's part of how the book came to be, but they're outliers. I'd like a few instances where he discusses masculinity with people closer to middle-class and how you can't even have the veneer of having lived up to the stereotypes of masculinity.
This may be why the first chapter on the stoic mask felt more powerful to me. I don't identify very well with someone worth 100 million dollars. But I can identify my life far closer to the stoic men he interviews.
At any rate, read the book. It's worth it.