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![Master of None by [Sonya Bateman]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/514jLpDddsL._SY346_.jpg)
Master of None Kindle Edition
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Gavyn Donatti is the world’s unluckiest thief. Just ask all the partners he’s lost over the years. And when he misplaces an irreplaceable item he was hired to steal for his ruthless employer, Trevor—well, his latest bungle just might be his last. But then his luck finally turns: right when Trevor’s thugs have him cornered, a djinn, otherwise known as a genie, appears to save him.
Unfortunately, this genie—who goes by the very non-magical name of “Ian”—is more Hellboy than dream girl. An overgrown and extremely surly man who seems to hate Donatti on the spot, he may call Donatti master, but he isn’t interested in granting three wishes. He informs Donatti that he is bound to help the thief fulfill his life’s purpose, and then he will be free. The problem is that neither Donatti nor Ian has any idea what exactly that purpose is.
At first Donatti’s too concerned with his own survival to look a gift genie in the mouth, but when his ex-girlfriend Jazz and her young son get drawn into the crossfire, the stakes skyrocket. And when Ian reveals that he has an agenda of his own—with both Donatti and the murderous Trevor at the center of it—Donatti will have to become the man he never knew he could be, or the entire world could pay the price. . . .
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherPocket Books
- Publication dateMarch 18, 2010
- File size802 KB
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Editorial Reviews
Unknown
—Jaye Wells, author of Red-Headed Stepchild
“Biting wit, blazing-hot action, and a take on the djinn that is excitingly original.”
—Mark Henry, author of Battle of the Network Zombies
“A fun read. One part car chase, one part irascible thief, and one part djinn magic. Shaken, not stirred.”
—J. F. Lewis, author of Revamped
Review
—J. F. Lewis, author of Revamped
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Just once, I would have liked to get my shit together. Even accidentally. But I could already see that wasn’t going to happen tonight. After all, I am the world’s unluckiest thief. Ask anybody.
Especially my ex-partners.
The long-abandoned warehouse I’d stumbled across had seemed like a blessing, and the worn canvas bag wedged under my spare tire had been downright serendipitous. That was until I started stuffing my worldly possessions into it and the damned thing split down the seams. Out came everything, all over the concrete floor that was covered with dust and oil and Christ knew what else. The gunk would wreak havoc with my instruments.
As if that weren’t enough, one of the banded stacks of bills popped loose. The draft in the place snatched a handful of hundreds and whisked them off into the gloom in a flurry of papery whispers. Like the building was laughing at me.
“Crud!” My voice echoed in the empty space. I froze, dropped to a crouch behind my car, and listened. Nothing yet. I’d ditched the tail half an hour ago, but they’d find me again soon. I figured Trevor must have had my ride bugged while he briefed me—which meant they’d been tracking me for a week. They knew I’d hit the place four days ago and hadn’t shown up with the score yet. I might have found the bug if I hadn’t misplaced my scanner on my last run.
Since I hadn’t, my only chance now was to keep going on foot. I couldn’t talk my way out of this one.
I kept my mouth shut and started stowing fistfuls of bills in pockets. The lost cash would have to stay lost. Next came the essentials: cell phone, Mag-Lite, lock jock, cutter, scrambler, electric pick, Bowie, SAK, wire, Magnum—unloaded, of course. I was a thief, not a murderer. Couldn’t say the same for Trevor. He was a vicious bastard, for a fence. Hell, I’d met dealers who were calmer than Trevor. I did jobs for him because he paid well, but I suspected I’d be looking for a new contact to sell my scores to soon. One with a little less psycho in his veins.
I’d have to scratch the clothes, too. Not that they were much to look at. Bland, serviceable, meant for blending in. I’d buy more. Though I didn’t need it for warmth, I shrugged into my windbreaker for the extra pockets and headed for the only point of entry and exit I’d seen in the rundown structure. It bothered me, being in a place with just one escape route. Made it hard to formulate a backup plan other than get busted or die . . . two alternatives I’d managed to avoid so far. I hoped this time wouldn’t break my record, but I had my doubts.
Outside, a starless night in Middle of Nowhere, New York, waited for me. I tried to remember how far I’d driven from the last insignificant excuse for a town to get here. In my professional estimation, it was pretty damned far. The idea of calling someone for a pickup crossed my mind. I laughed at it and sent it on its way.
I didn’t just burn bridges. I incinerated them. Everyone I knew had a legitimate reason to hate me—and none of them was my fault. Okay, maybe that thing back in Albany a few years ago was my fault, but everything else came down to sheer bad luck.
In the distance, a long and low howl rode the breeze, frustrated and almost human. I’d heard enough dogs to know the sound didn’t come from a domesticated breed. A coyote, maybe even a wolf. Terrific. For the thousandth time, I reminded myself that I never should have taken this gig. At least, not alone. But with my reputation, only the greenest punks would agree to partner with me, which guaranteed I’d spend more time babysitting than working. I’d been in this game too long to bother breaking in newbies.
There was another reason I should’ve told Trevor to shove this job. It wasn’t his style. I’d gotten a weird vibe when he laid it out. The flashy son of a bitch always wanted high-end vehicles or fine art or precious metals and jewels. But this score was ordinary. Small-time. Wouldn’t fetch fifty bucks on eBay. He’d said it was for his private collection, but even then, the little voice I never listened to insisted there was something fucked-up about the whole thing.
I considered telling Trevor the truth, but hell, I didn’t even believe it. Who’d believe a professional thief lost the item he’d been hired to steal? No way that unforgiving bastard would buy it. I’d seen Trevor shoot his own thugs for picking up the wrong kind of wine. Granted, it had been five hundred cases of wrong, but that was beside the point.
There was still a good ten feet between me and freedom when the drone and swell of an approaching engine sounded outside. Headlights swept the curve leading to the building and swung around to frame the doorway, pinning me in the glare. Hello, sitting duck.
The engine gunned. Tires screamed as the car shot forward. I darted back into the darkness of the warehouse and took a hard left. The car screeched to a halt somewhere behind me. I turned toward the front wall, held out a hand, and walked briskly until I encountered something solid. I flattened my back against the surface, and waited.
I had a knack for concealment, a trait that served me well on the job. A few ex-partners had sworn I could make myself invisible, especially when they’d gotten caught and I hadn’t.
Car doors opened and closed. I counted four slams. Trevor had sent a lot more muscle than necessary. I almost felt honored, before I realized the son of a bitch probably wanted me taken alive. Should have seen that one coming.
Flashlight beams swept the main aisle. A rumbling bear of a voice delivered an order. “There. Search his car.” I recognized it instantly. Skids Davis, Trevor’s left-hand man. Left, not right, because Trevor only called on Skids when he needed something dirty cleaned up.
So I was dirty now. Fine. I’d been worse.
I held my breath and inched along the wall. The entrance stood five or six feet to my right, within my grasp. With a bit of luck, I could slip out before the creeping thugs reached my car.
A low shape broke away from one of the goons and headed straight for me with disconcerting clicks. Great. They’d brought one of the dogs. Though I couldn’t make out features in the gloom, its build suggested Rottweiler, and its strut suggested that human flesh was its favorite meal.
I’d never been bitten by a dog during a gig, but they always managed to find me fast. This one was no exception. He padded to within two feet of me and sat down as if I’d promised him a snack. His mouth drew back in what looked like a smile. My, vicious animal, what big teeth you have. Please don’t bark.
The dog licked his its a few times. And barked.
It was more of a sneeze, actually, but it sounded louder than a marching band in a tin can. Had the thugs heard that? Not daring to move, I scanned the building, convinced they could hear my eyeballs rotating in my skull. The idling sedan’s headlights revealed just enough detail to count heads. One, two, three...
Something hard and cold pressed against my temple. I sighed. Four.
Thanks a lot, dog.
“Hey, Skids. How’s it hangin’?”
A hand made of gristle and steel clamped on my upper arm. I caught a whiff of sour perspiration and cigarette breath when he said, “Going somewhere, Donatti?”
“Yeah. With you.”
“You’re a smart monkey.” Skids jerked me toward the entrance and thrust me into the glare of the headlights. The semiautomatic trained on my head looked like a cap gun in Skids’s meaty paw. “Unload.”
“Come on, man. I need this shit. Gotta earn a living—”
The gun drifted lower. “Unload, or I ventilate your thigh.”
“Fine.” I emptied my pockets, dropping items one by one onto the ground with deliberate slowness. As if buying time would improve the situation. Even with an hour to spare, I couldn’t come up with a way out of this. The other three wandered back toward the car and collected the dog, grinning the universal gotcha smiles of thugs everywhere. “I’m gonna get my junk back, right?”
“Doubt it. You won’t be needing any of this. Unless you’ve got Trevor’s item jammed up your ass.” If Skids was amused, his cold features didn’t betray the emotion. “Care to explain what in the hell you were thinking, Donatti? We know you had it. Who’d you fence it to?”
I added the last of the cash to the pile at my feet and glowered at Skids. “I’m not explaining jack to you. Trevor wants to know, I’ll tell him.”
“You’ll have an easier time if you tell me. Trevor wants to hurt you. Extensively. I’ll just shoot you now and get it over with.”
“I’ll take my chances, thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” Skids gestured with the semi. His free hand produced a key fob with a fat plastic tag. He aimed at the car, pushed a button, and the trunk popped open. “First class is full. You get to ride coach.”
“Lucky me.” I moved as slowly as I dared, figuring I had two options: climb into the trunk or run. If I picked the trunk, I’d have to tell Trevor I lost the score. Not that I knew why the bastard wanted the thing in the first place. Taking the trunk meant being taken to Trevor, where I’d be tortured to death.
And if I ran, I’d be shot. Great options.
I concentrated on the exit. To the right of the crumbling drive leading into the place, a few lone trees provided scant cover opportunities. I could run hard to the left, hope the hint of forest in that direction thickened fast. I’d probably take a bullet before I got out of range—if I got out of rangeR...
--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.About the Author
Product details
- ASIN : B003CV7RF0
- Publisher : Pocket Books (March 18, 2010)
- Publication date : March 18, 2010
- Language : English
- File size : 802 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 388 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,700,200 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #2,609 in Contemporary American Fiction
- #25,769 in Contemporary Romance Fiction
- #31,391 in Romantic Fantasy (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Sonya Bateman lives in 'scenic' Central New York, with its two glorious seasons: winter and road construction. She is the author of two popular urban fantasy series: the DeathSpeaker Codex and the Gavyn Donatti series, as well as several standalone urban fantasy and paranormal books.
Under the name S.W. Vaughn, she writes psychological thrillers and crime thrillers.
She enjoys good coffee, bad movies, and finding new people to fan-girl with over awesome things like Dr. Horrible, the Artemis Fowl books, all things Terry Pratchett, Guillermo del Toro and Ron Perlman, The Dark Crystal, and Dragonball Z.
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That's why he's attempting his next coup without any backup and of course, everything that can go wrong, does. Have you ever heard of a thief loosing his loot? No? Gavyn is sure his client hasn't either and crime boss Trevor isn't one to mess around with.
Then a trenchcoated, bare-chested grumpy man appears and saves Gavyn's unlucky behind from execution. Apparently even modern day genies draw the line at shirts and this one has attached himself to Gavyn. Ian has to help the thief to fulfill his life's purpose and staying alive is only the first step.
Where to start? MASTER OF NONE is the start to a new urban fantasy series, featuring an unlucky thief and genies. Sonya Bateman tells a lively, fast paced story that mixes humor with suspense. Donatti has a fresh voice (1. person POV) and his occupation and bad luck get him into interesting situations. Genies aren't all over Urban Fantasy like vampires and werewolves, so that's interesting as well.
However. Emotion heavy writing is fine - as long as the emotion befits the situation. In MASTER OF NONE it often does not.
In order to get out of his mess, Gavyn needs to work with an old flame. Most of the time their relationship is portrayed well, but there are several scenes where they get hot and heavy and really shouldn't. In one his (ex)girlfriend learns that her sister got burned alive by their enemies and shortly thereafter they are kissing and panting in their car. Gavyn gets tortured for hours and when he sees her the first thing that comes to his mind is how hot she is.
Then there is the humor. I happen to love humor and Gavyn is a funny smartass, which I enjoyed in the beginning. But there are scenes, when it gets too much, like in the torture scene I mentioned earlier. Gavyn has to witness the torture of his friend Ian and gets tortured himself (several broken bones, six or seven torn out fingernails, flesh wounds,...). The situation seems hopeless, but every time he opens his mouth he cracks a joke. I know a thing or two about pain and you can joke about it in self defense, but there's a line where all wisecracks are left behind. And yes, sooner or later everyone cracks under pain. Gavyn saying and believing that he won't, annoyed me and the story stopped being believable to me.
The inconsistent magic system adds to the lack of believability. In Bateman's world genies are very powerful and can pretty much do whatever they want as long as they have the required energy (fly, change shapes, create portals, affect the minds of humans ...). They can store the energy and (should) husband it carefully. However what is said to be wasteful, is non issue in another situation, what is requires enormous amounts of energy can be performed by a depleted genie and the regeneration periods vary a lot. Also, they don't use their powers wisely and seem to prefer an intricate route to a direct one.
Despite some dark undertones MASTER OF NONE is a light and fast read and I'm sure that it will find its audience. I'm not going to pick up the next in the series tough.
Besides Gavyn's too-stupid-to-live issues, this book was exciting and fascinating. This author has now been added to my favorite authors list. I highly recommend this urban fantasy to fellow dark urban fantasy readers and I look forward to the sequel Djinn's Apprentice due out around 1/2011.
I also recommend:
Black Magic Sanction (Rachel Morgan, Book 8)
Spider's Bite: An Elemental Assassin Book
Shadow Blade (Shadowchasers)
Three Days to Dead
Magic in the Shadows: An Allie Beckstrom Novel
The Good: Donatti is a likable lead and it's refreshing to see a male main character in this genre, and I liked that he wasn't portrayed as the stereotypical super-human alpha male dripping sex appeal. Ian is also a well-written character whose development from the mysterious nasty genie to the gruff but willing mentor felt natural. There's real humor in this story, in particular from Donatti and Tory. The story is original, and though at times uneven, was engaging enough to keep my interest.
The Bad: Most of the secondary characters were one-dimensional, including the villians, and there aren't so many characters in this book that they couldn't have been rounded out. There were several "are you kidding me?" moments in this book; i.e. Jazz just found the remains of her charred sister & Donatti is hitting on her (artificially placed sexual tension); Ian let a misunderstanding cloud an ally's opinion of him for centuries for no reason that makes sense (artificially placed dramatic tension). Some the dialogue was too cheesy and there was more than one occassion where characters did inexplicably stupid things.
Overall, I liked this book. It was a quick read and definitely has the potential to be an interesting new series.
Top reviews from other countries

Trevor is the kind of nut that I thoroughly enjoy. He is completely unpredictable. If one of his goons displeases him at all, Trevor will shoot them on the spot. He he has put the fear of himself into both criminals and the police in the area. Even the locals know not to get Trevor's ire up. Remember - one must not displease Trevor:
"I don't believe in trust. I believe in control." Frigid green eyes settled on me for a moment and then languidly scanned the rest of the group. "Conner. Come here please."
The cop approached Trevor, his expression neutral. "What's up?"
"Where is our friend in the trench coat?"
"Still in the van. He's dead."
Trevor stared at him. "You must be mistaken."
"Uh ..." A flicker of unease penetrated Conner's features. "No, he's gone. I shot him a few times, just to make sure."
"Did I tell you to shoot him?"
Those flat words were Conner's death sentence. I knew it. Conner did too.
"Wait." Conner stumbled back. "Trevor, I-"
Trevor's arm jackknifed up to press the gun against Conner's forehead. He fired without hesitation. The silencer allowed a whining snap, no louder than a breaking branch. Trevor didn't even blink when the cop's blood spattered his face and pristine linen shirt. The body dropped to the floor. Trevor released a short sigh and shook his head.
That kind of bad. Completely amoral. Anything goes as long as Trevor gets his way. Not the kind of bad that I would like to meet. Not at all!
Gavin Donatti has the great misfortune of having botched his latest job for Trevor and Gavin has the sense to be frightened s***less. When we meet him, Gavin is doing his best to stay ahead of Trevor and his goons. Sadly, he is not doing a very good job of it. However, as usual his unlucky streak seems to run out at an essential moment, the moment when the Djinn/genie Ian steps into his life. These two guys are the main characters of the story. Gavin needs Ian and Ian needs Gavin to become more real.
In the beginning, I guess you could sum their relationship up with these words:
"Being this surly bastard's master was about as useful as ordering the weather around. And if achieving my life's purpose depended upon coaxing a flesh-bound hurricane to cooperate with me, I'd take eternal bad luck."
Of course, things do not remain like this between the two of them throughout the novel, but they are never easy around each other. Gavin seems to have that talent, the talent to make people wary of being around him. Perhaps that has something to do with his luck and their misfortune whenever Gavin takes on a project. For the unluckiest thief on the earth, Gavin is awfully lucky. It isn't that Gavin does anything to create the disasters that other people who work with him experience. In fact, he feels terrible about his spread of unhappiness all the while having Ms. Bateman show us Gavin's reluctance to own what he has done. A reviewer called him yellow-bellied. I do not know the color of his belly, but I agree with the premise while all the time remembering that Gavin's cowardice is interspersed with a great deal of courage (when needs must).
I liked "Master of None".
[...]

The whole thing is written in the first person by Donatti so we trip and stumble along the plot with him. This is fast paced, with a nasty baddie or two, some quite nasty torture (through which our hero manfully quips away, a la James Bond in the ball-bashing scene in Casino Royale), a Buddha-serene baby, a tough ex-girlfriend, and, of course, the djinn (and just how DO you pronounce that - our hero certainly struggles, settling initially on genie, which annoys the djinn somewhat).
This is clearly setting up for a series, and the next one, Master and Apprentice, is already out.

