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on April 9, 2017
Just re-read this, and now with more experience under my belt I have something to say.

My Way or the Highway is fine when you are laying down protocols and rules for your slave or sub. It does not fly when you are telling other Doms how to structure their relationships or behave in general. Nor does it work when telling subs what to seek and what is possible. Rubel has a very narrow view of what Master/slave relationships should look like - they should look like his.

The book is also full of generic advice that would apply to any relationship, and a lot taken from business management theory, much of which, frankly, is not realistic in the business world much less transposed to personal relationships. Having taken some management classes and read some books, I've found much of it a hodge-podge of common sense, pop psychology and the business buzzwords du jour.

Rubel recommends taking personality tests like Myers-Briggs to understand yourself and your sub. Myers-Briggs, while widely used both in psychology and business, has no real scientific validity. I agree that it's important to know yourself and your strengths and weaknesses. But use caution when following what looks like widely-accepted advice. Do your own research and look with a skeptical eye at the received wisdom, especially when wrapped in a pseudo-scientific costume like Myers-Briggs.

The book is poorly written in places, poorly edited and proofread in more, and badly laid out from front to back, with section headings at the bottoms of pages and misplaced pull-quotes interrupting sentences and often clearly in the wrong location. I've read a lot of these kinds of books, from small publishers or self-published, and accept lower standards of publishing as the price of accessing knowledge that is not available in your typical bookstore from a major publisher. But this book is worse than most, to the point of distracting the reader.

For all I know the author is a great guy and a wonderful Master. But in this book he comes across as pompous, narrow-minded, judgemental and even rather classist, which to me are not features of a good Dom. If you need a slave who knows how to behave at fancy dinner parties and high-powered business affairs, fine, you should look for someone who meets your needs. But many Doms don't need that and there's no reason to expect all slaves (or all Masters) to have those particular skills. It may be more important to you that your sub be able to get along with people from different cultures, or knows how to operate a forklift.

Unfortunately I can't recommend one book a prospective Master should read instead. I've gotten something out of many books, and found much more irrelevant to me. Browse the reviews of various books on Amazon and check out some websites. Though aimed primarily at slaves, there's one book I do recommend to anyone interested in a 24/7 M/s relationship: Slavecraft by "a grateful slave" and Guy Baldwin. For current or hopeful Masters it's a peek into the mind of the slave character, and quite sophisticated in its understanding of M/s dynamics and the spiritual aspects of submission. There's also some useful advice in the back directed at Doms by Pat Califia.
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on February 1, 2017
This book seems to be geared more towards the Master and not really towards the slave. but still interesting.
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on May 25, 2016
Good Boock
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on January 29, 2016
great book
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on December 6, 2015
Love all his books. very thorough and has some humor to keep in interesting. Also very informative and resourceful.
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on March 31, 2015
Amazing book! A must read for anyone interested in the kink life.
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on March 18, 2015
Informative and nice for new beginners.
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on September 6, 2014
Great book, I will check out his other book in the future.
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on May 24, 2014
has good sections on both people who are looking for slaves and those who already have them. I liked it, i read twice :)
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on June 5, 2013
This is a good read for both a Master/Mistress and his/her slave. It's a good framework for establishing a unique structure for each relationship. you can build the gamut from micromanagement to a gross management relationship.
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