- Audible Audio Edition
- Listening Length: 8 hours and 8 minutes
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Unabridged
- Publisher: HarperAudio
- Audible.com Release Date: September 7, 2006
- Whispersync for Voice: Ready
- Language: English
- ASIN: B000IB0EYI
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic Audiobook – Unabridged
|New from||Used from|
|Free with your Audible trial|
Customers who bought this item also bought
Would you like to tell us about a lower price?
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
However, I strongly disagree with advising not to confess an affair, claiming it’s disrespectful. No, having an affair is disrespectful. Respect is respecting your partner’s right to choose to stay or leave you. Since knowledge = power, knowledge of the affair = power to make an informed decision.
Stripping away someone’s power, claiming it’s for their own good, is manipulation reframed to sound positive. A surprising argument, too, coming from an author who also advises against being possessive of your partner.
There is nothing in this book that would really help a married couple whose sex life has faded. She suggests role play, like pretending the wife is a prostitute. Yawn. She also suggests pornography. In his book "In the Shadows of the Net," Patrick Carnes, with 25 years of experience in the field, warns that many people get so hooked on porn that they lose interest in their mates. Fantasy and porn not exciting enough? Perel suggests the discrete affair, open marriage, swingers clubs. No mention of the risk of herpes, hepatitis, AIDS, etc. And for every anecdote that she has on extra-marital sex helping a marriage, I dare say I have heard ten about its having the opposite effect. Not that I have any actual numbers, but then I'm not writing a book. Dr. Perel doesn't back up her pronouncements with any hard data.
On 9-24-10 at the annual conference of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, plenary speaker John Gottman, mentioning Esther Perel by name, said that her idea that emotional distance makes for better marital sex is contradictory to his findings. Now at the University of Washington, he has been doing research with married couples since 1980.
On 5-20-11 at the annual conference of the Massachusetts Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, I asked Terry Real whether too much intimacy could be boring, whether it was important to keep mystery in a marriage. He recognized that as Perel's idea and said that while he likes her as a person, he totally disagrees with that idea. He says intimacy is the great turn on, the pearl of great price.
Lori Brotto, a psychologist in Canada, is doing serious research on lack of desire, and is getting good results with treatments based on mindfulness, one thing in the moment. She has published articles, but no book yet.
Perel uses many of her own clients to describe and exemplify the common problems and dilemmas that we typically fall into. This gives one the feeling of being in a family therapist meeting, without the awkwardness or feelings of shame of actually having to attend. When the situation resonates, this format proves valuable. Overall, I found this book to be interesting, exciting and valuable in providing insights into my own relationship. Being in relationship is hard enough, reading this book with your significant other would certainly give one a greater perspective on why and how we behave towards each other.
Most recent customer reviews
At least I found this book very useful for a young man, not captured in captivity but proactively curious how...Read more