- Hardcover: 432 pages
- Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (April 2, 2019)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1328662055
- ISBN-13: 978-1328662057
- Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 1.2 x 9.2 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 220 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #68 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Hardcover – April 2, 2019
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An Amazon Best Book of April 2019: I didn’t quite know how to take it when a publishing friend excitedly thrust a copy of celebrated psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb’s Maybe You Should Talk to Someone into my hands and exclaimed: “Erin, this is a book for you!” (Did I mention a couple colleagues were present and did not receive the same recommendation? The same colleagues who were just then nodding?). But I’m so glad he did. Giving the reader a behind-the-scenes peek from both sides of the couch, it’s a witty, relatable, moving homage to therapy—and just being human. While therapists are required to see a counselor themselves as part of their training, Gottlieb enlists an experienced ear when an unexpected breakup lays her flat. Working through her issues with the enigmatic “Wendell” helps Gottlieb process her pain, but it also hones her professional skills; after all, a good therapist possesses the ability to empathize with their patients (four of whom she chronicles in funny, frustrating, heartbreaking and profoundly inspiring detail). Like Gottlieb, you will see yourselves in them--in all their self-sabotaging, misunderstood, unlucky, and evolutionary glory. So, for those of you thinking: self-help books are just not my jam…They aren’t mine either (trust me, my woo-woo detector is very sensitive). But Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is so much more expansive than that. Everybody, this is a book for you. --Erin Kodicek, Amazon Book Review
*An O, The Oprah Magazine's Best Nonfiction Book of 2019*
*An IndieNext Pick*
*A Book of the Month Club Extra*
*An Apple Best Book of the Month*
*An Amazon Best Book of the Month and Books with Buzz Pick*
*A Publishers Marketplace Buzz Book*
*A Newsday, Apple iBooks, Thrive Global, Refinery29, and Book Riot Most Anticipated Book of 2019*
"An addictive book that's part Oliver Sacks and part Nora Ephron. Prepare to be riveted."
—People Magazine, Book of the Week
“The Atlantic's ‘Dear Therapist’ columnist offers a startlingly revealing tour of the therapist’s life, examining her relationships with her patients, her own therapist, and various figures in her personal life.”
“Gottlieb’s book is perhaps the first I’ve read that explains the therapeutic process in no-nonsense terms while simultaneously giving hope to therapy skeptics like me who think real change through talk is elusive.”
—Judith Newman, New York Times
"A psychotherapist and advice columnist at The Atlantic shows us what it’s like to be on both sides of the couch with doses of heartwarming humor and invaluable, tell-it-like-it-is wisdom."
—O, The Oprah Magazine
“A no-holds-barred look at how therapy works.”
"Who could resist watching a therapist grapple with the same questions her patients have been asking her for years? Gottlieb, who writes the Atlantic’s “Dear Therapist” column, brings searing honesty to her search for answers."
—The Washington Post
“Reading it is like one long therapy session—and may be the gentle nudge you need to start seeing a therapist again IRL.”
“In her memoir, bestselling author, columnist, and therapist Lori Gottlieb explores her own issues — and discovers just how similar they are to the problems of her clients.”
“A most satisfying and illuminating read for psychotherapy patients, their therapists, and all the rest of us.”
—New York Journal of Books
“A fascinating, funny behind-the-scenes look at what happens when people — even shrinks themselves — ‘break open,’ with the help of a therapist.”
"Saturated with self-awareness and compassion, this is an irresistibly addictive tour of the human condition."
—Kirkus Review, Starred Review
"Written with grace, humor, wisdom, and compassion, this [is a] heartwarming journey of self-discovery."
"The coup de grace is Gottlieb’s vulnerability with her own therapist. Some readers will know Gottlieb from her many TV appearances or her 'Dear Therapist”'column, but even for the uninitiated-to-Gottlieb, it won’t take long to settle in with this compelling read."
"Sparkling . . . Gottlieb portrays her patients, as well as herself as a patient, with compassion, humor, and grace."
"An entertaining, relatable, and moving homage to therapy—and being human. We’re all in this together, folks—something this book hits home."
—The Amazon Book Review
"Warm, approachable and funny—a pleasure to read."
"Heartwarming and upbeat, this memoir demystifies therapy and celebrates the human spirit."
"Therapists play a special and invaluable role in the lives of the 30 million Americans who attend sessions, but have you ever wondered where they go when they need to talk to someone? Veteran psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author Lori Gottlieb shares a candid and remarkably relatable account of what it means to be a therapist who also goes to therapy, and what this can teach us about the universality of our questions and anxieties."
—Thrive Global, "10 Books We Can’t Wait to Read in 2019"
“Some people are great writers, and other people are great therapists. Lori Gottlieb is, astoundingly, both. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is about the wonder of being human: how none of us is immune from struggle, and how we can grow into ourselves and escape our emotional prisons. Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing.”
“If you have even an ounce of interest in the therapeutic process, or in the conundrum of being human, you must read this book. It is wise, warm, smart and funny, and Lori Gottlieb is exceedingly good company.”
—Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking
“Shrinks, they're just like us—at least in Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, the heartfelt memoir by therapist Lori Gottlieb. Warm, funny, and engaging (no poker-faced clinician here), Gottlieb not only gives us an unvarnished look at her patients' lives, but also her own. The result is the most relatable portrait of a therapist I've yet encountered.”
—Susannah Cahalan, New York Times best-selling author of Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness
“Gottlieb is an utterly compelling narrator: funny, probing, savvy, vulnerable. She pays attention to the small stuff — the box of tissues and the Legos in the carpet — as she honors the more expansive mysteries of our wild, aching hearts.”
—Leslie Jamison, author of The Recovering: Intoxication and its Aftermath
“This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book. Lori Gottlieb takes us inside the most intimate of encounters as both clinician and patient and leaves us with a surprisingly fresh understanding of ourselves, one another, and the human condition. Her willingness to expose her own blind spots along with her patients’ shows us firsthand that we aren’t alone in our struggles and that maybe we should talk more about them! Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is funny, hopeful, wise, and engrossing—all at the same time.”
—Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and founder & CEO, Thrive Global
“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is ingenious, inspiring, tender, and funny. Lori Gottlieb bravely takes her readers on a guided tour into the self, showing us the therapeutic process from both sides of the couch—as both therapist and patient. I cheered for her breakthroughs, as if they were my own! This is the best book I've ever read about the life-changing possibilities of talk therapy.”
—Amy Dickinson, “Ask Amy” advice columnist and New York Times best-selling author of Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things
“I was sucked right in to these vivid, funny, illuminating stories of humans trying to climb their way out of hiding, overcome self-defeating habits, and wake up to their own strength. Lori Gottlieb has captured something profound about the struggle, and the miracle, of human connection.”
—Sarah Hepola, New York Times best-selling author of Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget
“With wisdom and humanity, Lori Gottlieb invites us into her consulting room, and her therapist's. There, readers will share in one of the best-kept secrets of being a clinician: when we bear witness to change, we also change, and when we are present as others find meaning in their lives, we also discover more in our own.”
—Lisa Damour, New York Times best-selling author of Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
“I’ve been reading books about psychotherapy for over a half century, but never have I encountered a book like Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: so bold and brassy, so packed with good stories, so honest, deep and riveting. I intended to read a chapter or two but ended up reading and relishing every word.”
—Irvin Yalom MD, author of Love’s Executioner, and other Tales of Psychotherapy, and professor emeritus of psychiatry at Stanford University.
“Here are some people who might benefit from Lori Gottlieb’s illuminating new book: Therapists, people who have been in therapy, people who have been in relationships, people who have experienced emotions. In other words, everyone. Lori’s story is funny, enlightening, and radically honest. It merits far more than 50 minutes of your time.”
—A.J. Jacobs, New York Times best-selling author of The Year of Living Biblically
"Authentic... raw... an irresistibly candid and addicting memoir about psychotherapeutic practice as experienced by both the clinician and the patient."
—The New York Times Book Review
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Of course, the title of the book is less important than what's inside and this memoir that tells the story of Lori Gottleib and her patients holds our attention from beginning to end. One of Lori’s patients, Julie, is dying of cancer. Each week Julie comes for therapy to help her come to terms with her death. We follow Julie in therapy from her first diagnosis of cancer to her quiet death and few readers will not take a few moments to sit back and think about loved ones they have lost and then cry with Lori and Julie. When Lori talks with Julie about what matters most she says to Julie, “Love wins.” This is exactly what Julie’s dad had said to her when discussing how families overcome the many problems that come along and how they survive them. Her dad says to his daughters, “Because at the end of the day, love wins. Always remember that girls.”
Love wins is at the center of everything Lori does. No, she’s not perfect and her memoir does not try to hide her own inadequacy as she faces the trials and tribulations of her own life. But Lori’s heart is in the right place and she knows that “it is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eyes.” With one of her difficult patients, John, the award winning screen writer who thinks that everyone is an idiot, Lori is patient and loving and love wins. Lori listens to John with her heart and sees in the depths of his being the love that is hidden there that only needs someone like Lori to recognize and then help John find his way home to the person he was meant to be. With John we laugh at his outrageous banter, which Lori captures perfectly, but then cry when the banter is replaced by the truth of John’s inability to cope with the death of his beloved young son Gabe in an auto accident.
Now as I sit back for a moment and think about it, that’s what Lori’s book is about – laughter and tears, for that is what our life is – ups and downs, sickness and health, laughter and tears, and Lori has captured it all remarkably well. She is so skilled as a writer that we feel like she is talking to us and we can make conversation with her. I have written many reviews of English writer Anthony Trollope’s novels and I have said that Trollope, like Lori, draws us in to his world as he tells us about the predicaments his characters find themselves emeshed in, that “sweet flypaper of life” that Lori is caught in, but with help from her own therapist, Wendell, she extricates herself only to be caught again. But Lori has learned not to take herself too seriously. In her book we see her come to terms with her humanity. She knows that like her patients she often takes one step forward and two steps back. She says “all of us are trying our best to get out of our own way.”
Lori’s memoir is meant to be read slowly and savored, sitting back from time to time as we examine our own lives and try to figure out how to get out of our own way. Lori tells us what we already know, that no easy answers exist for anyone. Long ago the Buddha gave us his First Noble Truth: Suffering – life is full of suffering. But the Buddha, Jesus, and all the great teachers know what Lori has shown so well in her memoir, that in the end, love wins. If we hold on to that great truth we will have the strength to face the challenges that are a part of all our lives.
I wish Lori were here at my desk so that I could thank her in person for her wonderful book, but this review will have to do instead.
Detailing the processes and methods of guiding her patients through their sometimes-awkward and oftentimes-stalled personal growth - while experiencing stumbling blocks and personal confusion in her own life - Gottleib's insightful book also helps the reader become aware of his or her own obstacles and strengths.
The flow is artfully crafted; the writing style clear and conversational.
It's one of the best books I've read in the past year. Healing.
I've recommended it to my therapist; I'm confident she'll recommend it to others