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Me and My Shadow: Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom Paperback – March 12, 2013
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About the Author
Diana Rose Iannarone for many years held the contorted belief that her ability to provide and "do" defined her worth. This belief was a catalyst, propelling her to exceptional economic success, while creating the delusion of thriving. Every day while on her path to achieving more, yet denying the pervasive abuse in her private world, she was blind to her truly impoverished existence. Discovering her true self worth, finally freed her from Fear and Control, revealing the choice of Love and Freedom that was always hers. She now lives in Eastern Long Island, N.Y. where she continues her work as a Life Coach, awakening others around the globe to their power to Live Free.
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One of my favorite sentences that Diana quoted me in an email is “Just because I allow abuse does not mean someone has to do it.” The reason this one rings so true is because I did allowed it and felt guilty that I hated him for it. I thought it wasn’t his fault I allowed him to do it. I thought I should be apologizing to him for getting hurt and upset after the abuse. I could have said NO but I didn’t. I now know that I didn’t care about myself enough to stop it. I GET IT!! I lack self-worth. I didn’t know my own value. I GET IT!!!
Another of my favorite sentences from the book is “Their judgment is often a reflection of their own fears and truths, the mirror for what they are unwilling to see in themselves.” I remember him calling me names like “mean, rude, judgmental, and how I use people’s weaknesses against them to make myself feel better.” I am almost 39 years old and have never been called any of those names before. This was a first but yet when I would introduce this guy to people they would say “He is so rude, judgmental, and is mean to you Jennifer you can do so much better than that.” And as far as using people’s weaknesses, I told him that I had “abandonment issues” which turned out to be a huge mistake because after that, every time I would do something he didn’t like he would threaten to leave me which would cause me to beg him to stay which in turned gave him all the power he needed to abuse me some more. As if he was using my weaknesses. It become a weekly cycle.
I am reading the book again because it did me so much good the first time around I can’t imagine what I will get from it the second and third time.
I leave you with this final thought from Diana “Life isn’t about what happens to you, it is about how you behave once it does.”
I give this book TWO THUMBS up and highly recommend it anyone who is like me and picks the worst of men to date. And trust me, there can be a room of 100 men, 99 of them are good and there is just 1 bad one. I will pick that 1 bad one every single time. Or should I say “I used to.”
This book can not only help those that have been in abusive relationships but anyone that is seeking, peace and fulfillment in all areas of their life. Diana describes how her life was award winning on the outside and crumbling on the inside, behind closed doors and how she moved through this trauma to love and wholeness.
The only person that I want to learn from is the one that has been in darkness and has come through to the light - that is Diana Iannarone! In the book and in her coaching sessions, she has a no nonsense, tough love approach, juxtaposed with a warm a heart and a vault of information about the human condition, helping you to move from fear to freedom.
This work changed my life so much, that at 61, I got my Life Coaching license and Diana has been instrumental in helping me build my business. She has a long history in the corporate world, then moved to the private coaching arena and has funneled years of invaluable knowledge into this awesome book.
It illuminated for me that my belief systems, born in childhood, were still running my life today. As a child I was unable to express any feelings, even at 10 when my mother died and I got the message that my feelings didn’t matter to anyone. My favorite quote in the book is:
“The feeling I have that this is wrong must in fact be what is wrong. My feelings are wrong, not the act of what is happening to me or being told to me.”
It was worth the purchase just for that quote!
This is a great way to spend $16.00 and enjoy your "Breakthrough" as you will have one if you read Me & My Shadow!