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Me and My Shadow Hardcover – October 31, 2022
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At 18 years of age, John Walker Pattison was thrust onto a roller coaster ride of emotional turbulence - his innocence cruelly stripped from him; his fate woven into the tapestry of life.
After years of failed chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments that ravaged his physical frame and almost destroyed his psychological stability - his parents were told that he would not survive. Yet, today, he is one of the longest surviving cancer patients in the UK.
Eight years after his unexpected recovery, the news that all parents fear, his daughter is diagnosed with terminal leukaemia. Yet like her father, she too would defy the odds and go on to become an international swimmer.
Pattison turned his life full circle and became a cancer nurse specialist at the same hospital that made his diagnosis decades earlier. He prescribes chemotherapy and cares for individuals with the same cancers experienced by both him and his daughter.
Throughout his journey, Pattison's inspirations were the space rock legends, Hawkwind. He would get to play on stage with his heroes at the Donnington Festival in 2007.
More significantly, he found solace throughout his cancer journey in the history and spirituality of the Lakota Sioux Nation. In 2018, he would spend time on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation with the indigenous people of South Dakota. The same people who, unknowingly, supported him through life's greatest challenge: cancer.
- Print length180 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherAustin Macauley
- Publication dateOctober 31, 2022
- Dimensions6.14 x 0.44 x 9.21 inches
- ISBN-101398484601
- ISBN-13978-1398484603
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About the Author
Today, Pattison enjoys being the practical joker, especially with his grandchildren. He openly admits to spending his school days clowning around, and neglected his intellectual chemistry, subsequently leaving school with a handful of worthless qualifications.
In 1973, he started work in a local shipyard until the spectre of cancer gripped his future in a deathly stranglehold. What happened next is his unique story, his Memoirs of a Cancer Survivor.
Product details
- Publisher : Austin Macauley (October 31, 2022)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 180 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1398484601
- ISBN-13 : 978-1398484603
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.14 x 0.44 x 9.21 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,500,374 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #71,532 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Three-time award-winning author, John Walker Pattison calls himself a dreamer. Born on Monday, 4th February 1957 to parents John and Ruby in the wonderful seaside town of South Shields – he admits that he spent his school days clowning around, neglecting his intellectual chemistry, leaving school with a handful of worthless qualifications.
His childhood was uneventful, although one of his early recollections is from September 1969 when he made his first entry through the turnstiles at St. James Park to see his beloved Newcastle United play football. In 1973, he started to work in a local shipyard until the spectre of cancer gripped his life in a deathly stranglehold and sculptured his future. It was then that his parents were told that he would not survive. Today, he is humbled to be one of the longest survivors of cancer in the UK.
Eight years after his unexpected recovery, he would be devastated by the news that his four-year-old daughter, Donna, had terminal leukaemia. But, like her father, she too would defy the odds, going on to become an international swimmer for Team GB.
Pattison left the Shipyards in 1985 and returned to college where more mature, he excelled and gained the requisite qualifications that would take him into nursing where he enjoyed a meteoric rise to the top of the nursing ladder. During his nursing career, he wrote dozens of articles for national and international nursing and medical press and presented lectures the length and breadth of the country on many aspects of haematology and cancer management. He is honoured to have won numerous awards both locally and nationally for his work in haematology and oncology. However, Pattison knows that being one of the longest cancer survivors is, without doubt, his greatest achievement.
He retired from his post as a senior clinical nurse specialist and head of service in haematology at his local hospital, partially due to chronic illnesses as a consequence of the salubrious chemotherapy and radiotherapy he received almost fifty years ago. There is little doubt that the crucial hinge in John’s life is his beautiful wife, June. “…Nothing is more important than family…” says John.
In 2022, Pattison published his memoirs, ‘Me, and My Shadow – memoirs of a cancer survivor’ to great acclaim. The aim was to deliver hope and particularly inspiration to anyone touched by a cancer diagnosis.
John Walker Pattison has always been an elasticated Grandpa, telling his grandchildren exaggerated tales of adventure. But when, in 2019, cancer stuck him once again, it was these adventures that would allow him to become an author of children’s fiction – inspired by Daniel, his youngest grandson and best friend.
The music of Hawkwind presented him with his first inspiration during his dark days of the seventies – and in 2007 he would not only join the band as part of the backstage crew, he would play on stage with the band at Donnington Festival.
However, a greater inspiration and influence in his life was the history and spirituality of the Lakota Sioux Nation. In 2018, he spent time on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation with the indigenous people of South Dakota, the people who, unknowingly, supported him through life's greatest challenge — cancer.
Pattison enjoys the solitude and escapism of fly-fishing, but, there is nothing greater than travelling to secluded and undiscovered areas of America with his soul mate, June.
#Cancer #Bookstagram #Inspirational #Survivorship #Oncology #BookAwards #Books #BookWorm #GreatReads #MustRead #Paperbacks #Storytelling #WhatToRead
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Author John Walker Pattison, born in 1957, admits to having a rather uneventful childhood. While fun, happy, and full of life, nothing so newsworthy about his childhood would prompt a memoir. Until 1975, at the age of eighteen when he begins experiencing bouts of fatigue. So notable in fact that after climbing down into the cofferdams of a boat he is meant to be welding, he is found sleeping after missing lunch. Time and time again his family doctor writes it off as something less life threatening, until he is admitted to the hospital with suspected appendicitis. Tests, x-ray, pokes, and a series of investigations follows. Resulting in our author being given no type of explanation, at least as far as he’s aware. Learning later that his parents, in what they thought was an attempt to protect him, hid the truth of his cancer diagnosis. What follows is the toll this diagnosis took on him, his unrelenting love for Hawkwind and the unexpected support the Lakota Sioux Nation provided to him during his stage IV Hodgkin Lymphoma battle.
As a reader this memoir had a unique contribution to the field of cancer survivors. Surviving stage IV lymphoma through the various treatments and long-term effects is an impressive and statistically unlikely event given his response to the treatment and options. However, it’s the forty-seven-year survival, career pivot working thirty-two years as a nurse in cancer services, and his daughter also battling cancer at a young age that truly set this read apart from the rest. The brutal honesty about his thoughts, psychological well-being, and treatment effects, open readers’ eyes to the gut-wrenching diagnosis of cancer and the guilt and responsibility that are placed on patient’s shoulders. But the ongoing life he lives, dedication to the field of nursing in the same hospitals that treated him, and the comfort he found in Hawkwind and the Lakota Sioux Nation all these years later makes this a memorable read even after the last page is turned.
I found his background and youth that he describes excellent. I felt I got to know him somewhat with his background which involved his love for music. Something I could relate to being an avid fan myself.
After feeling as I knew him a little better I was then blown away by his battle with cancer. He was broken down by all of his treatments something I couldn't even imagine. Discussing the drugs he had to take and the transformation that his body took.
Slowly his illness was taking toll after toll on him. Lymphoma would eventually become his diagnosis after many test and his already declining health. I was very impressed with his telling his family dynamics when he was initially dealing with his cancer.
The author goes into very good details of his treatment of chemotherapy and how he handled the best he could. He discusses his emotions caused by his treatments and cancer, a very real situation that I don't think anyone could understand unless they had been through it.
I love the information given about his time later on of him studying the Lakota Sioux spiritual ways. After all they helped support his recovery. He was told he wouldn't survive but he did. Eight years later he would learn his daughter would be diagnosed with terminal cancer as well but she too would overcome her illness.
Top reviews from other countries
- 82% off! what a deal for a hardcover!
Combined it with Hawkwind: Sonic Assassins <paperback> and a map of the UK (for next August's 1st-time journey over to the U.K. to see Hawkwind at a Festival)
- I didn't have to pay shipping via Amazon for the whole bundle
* And... shipment only took 2 days to arrive!
Don't know when I'll read Me and My Shadow by: John Walker Pattison, but it appears to be a well made hardcover book...
When life finally started to get back on track John was dealt another very cruel blow, but his tenacity, and quite a bit of good fortune, helped him turn things round and enabled him to put back into society far more than he ever took out.
In the final chapter John says that he has a great life but is not a great man. But his story is a reminder that we can all make out lives sublime.
A recommended read for anyone who has ever been touched by cancer - and that is surely all of us.
It would have been so easy to give up when, as a young man, he was diagnosed with a cancer which would return time after time, but he didn't.
Inspired by his love for the music of Hawkwind and his admiration for the Lakota Sioux native Americans, he endured all the treatment he had to accept, determined to see the band at every opportunity and to visit the Lakota people in the USA. In fact, he went so far as to join Hawkwind onstage at Donnington Park and later made trips to America, meeting the Sioux and visiting historical sites.
More than that, he turned to nursing and lived a working life dedicated towards the treatment and care of cancer patients, becoming a prominent figure in the field.
This is his tale and it is absorbing. His determination and positive thinking are an example to us all.
Well worth a read.
John’s memoirs are beautifully written, not only setting out a clear picture of John’s life, but also allowing the reader to consider what may be helpful when dealing with life’s every day ups and downs and the challenges of dealing with having cancer, almost dying and then becoming a cancer survivor. There is much less written about surviving cancer and John excels in his description of this complex process.
You will get to know John from a young age until the present day. You will become enthralled by his writing and story telling.
This is a superb book for those experiencing cancer and also for students of health care and experienced professionals.
Thank you for writing this John. Thank you for all you have skilfully and compassionately given to others throughout your life
