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Mean Machine

3.9 out of 5 stars 55 customer reviews

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(Jul 16, 2002)
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Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn't receive any favors because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on......

Amazon.com

British soccer star Vinnie Jones stars as--no big stretch--a former soccer star named Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan who gets arrested for drunken assault and sent to prison for three years. Behind bars he finds himself embroiled in web of prison politics, caught between a governor with a gambling problem, a crime boss who lost a lot of money on a game that Meehan lost, and a motley crew of surly prisoners and guards with grudges. It all culminates in a soccer match between a team of guards, led by a hard-nosed warden, and a team of convicts, led by Meehan. Mean Machine is a remake of the Burt Reynolds movie The Longest Yard and the plot is pretty sure-fire; it's hard not to get caught up in the tensions of the big game. Plus, the comical game commentators give the movie a good jolt of humor. --Bret Fetzer

Special Features

None.

Product Details

  • Actors: Vinnie Jones, David Kelly, David Hemmings, Ralph Brown, Vas Blackwood
  • Directors: Barry Skolnick
  • Writers: Andrew Day, Charlie Fletcher, Chris Baker, Tracy Keenan Wynn
  • Producers: Adam Bohling, Albert S. Ruddy, Cynthia Pett-Dante
  • Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
  • Language: English
  • Subtitles: English
  • Dubbed: English
  • Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.)
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Rated:
    R
    Restricted
  • Studio: Paramount
  • DVD Release Date: July 16, 2002
  • Run Time: 99 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B00005JKZ0
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,878 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)
  • Learn more about "Mean Machine" on IMDb

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: DVD
Vinnie Jones is Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan, former star soccer player, who was once hired to promote the sports goods of first-rate company Umbro. But now drunk and disgraced, he is in jail, doing his time of three-year sentence. But the governor there, himself deep in debt, wants him to go back to the game (between wards and prisoners), AND lose it on purpose, just like Danny did in the international match between England and Germany.
Sounds familiar? Sure, the film's opening credits show that "Mean Machine" is actually based on Burt Reynolds's film "The Longest Yard." You may say, or groan, "Not again!," but be assured, this new one is surprisingly good, considering that Vinnie Jones's career as actor has just got started. And his fans, be proud; though he may not be nominated for BAFTA awards, his turn as the first-time lead is really good, and convincing.
The virtue of "Mean Machine" is that the film looks very authentic. That's no surprise, you say, because Vinnie Jones was a professional soccer player, but keep in mind that he had to shape up his body again to fit in the role as it has been pretty long since he had retired. As I'm a huge soccer fan, and watch Euporean games live on cable TV in Japan, I can tell you this, but the players of "Mean Machine" team are good at playing soccer, and the most remarkable thing is that they play so well that their movements in the game is authentic (except for the goal keeper, who likes keep the ball too much), and look very real, if not as good as those you see in English Premier games. On top of that, most scenes are shot in real prison, The Oxford Prison, now disused for years.
But the greatest find is Vinnie Jones, who is natural and sometimes even humorous.
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The original "The Longest Yard" and the lame Adam Sandler remake are better than "Mean Machine". So is "Bend It Like Beckham" and "Kicking and Screaming". Vinnie Jones made an auspicious debut in a bit part as a debt collector in "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels". Asked to shoulder the heft of a starring role Jones just doesn't have the acting heft. His co-stars in director Guy Ritchie's debut film(Jason Statham, Jason Flemyng, and Vas Blackwood)run circles around him in this vehicle. Truth be told soccer holds as much interest to me as grass growing. That said I'm not a hockey fan but I loved "Slapshot". Regardless, the most indelible thing on display here is David Hemings' pointy eyebrows. The European title for this film was "The Mean Machine". These kind of subtleties make a world of difference.
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Format: VHS Tape
NOTHING. However this film survives on those two elements alone. My friends and I saw the film in Brazil with a theater full of brazilians who love soccer and cant speak english. While they didnt laugh NEARLY as much as my friends and I, they still enjoyed it.
A basic storyline is: After a great life in international soccer, a man is arrested and sent to prison. The warden of the prison is a huge football fan and thus the delima begins for the inmate. Freedom or Soccer?
If you dont enjoy soccer, pass this film up. If you like soccer and your friends dont...watch it alone. But finally a film for us soccer fans.
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Format: DVD
MEAN MACHINE is a remake of the Burt Reynolds movie THE LONGEST YARD, using the movie's UK release title. I haven't seen the original but this wasn't bad.
In a brilliant piece of casting ex-pro footballer turned tough guy actor Vinnie Jones plays Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan, an ex pro-footballer who is jailed for three years on assault charges. But the prison warden (David Hemmings) happens to be a soccer nut, so he offers Meehan the opportunity to assemble a team of inmates and train them for a soccer game against the prison officers.
Executive produced by Guy Ritchie, MEAN MACHINE is a formulaic but entertaining movie. The meshing of the sports/prison movie genres may make you see these guys as being right 'ard geezers or limp-wristed nancy boys, depending on your opinion of soccer. Well, there's a Robbie Williams song near the end of the movie so I'll leave that open to viewers to make their own judgments. MEAN MACHINE's still a good movie. If you're a soccer fan it's probably a five star movie. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel of sorts to be green-lighted featuring lesbian mud wrestling instead of soccer.
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If you like Guy Ritchie movies ( Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels...Snatch...) then you owe it to yourself to pick this one up, too. Guy Ritchie serves not as director on this piece, but as executive producer. However, the cast is nearly identical to that of his other films, so it will all be very familiar. Essentially "The Longest Yard" but with soccer and in England, this is still a great flick. Check it out.
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I liked the cast & gave this dvd a try. The plot is weak, butt this was made on a low budget & it shows. If you like hearing british speak & swear, you will enjoy it. I had low expectations & that's why i was not disappointed, do not expect this to be the best movie you will ever watch, butt rather a decent movie with british copy of the longest yard, then you will be delighted.
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