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Mean Moms Rule: Why Doing the Hard Stuff Now Creates Good Kids Later Paperback – April 1, 2012
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"What ever happened to raising your kids to leave you someday? Well, the 'everybody wins,' 'my kids are my friends,' perfect parenting culture got in the way. Luckily, Denise Schipani shares her secret to being a "Mean Mom," and why it's better for your kids and for you in the long run." - Jen Singer, author "You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either)
"Schipani has a solid track record of writing on parenting topics and no shortage of opinions. Self-described as "relentlessly practical" she is also funny, witty, and loaded with suggestions for keeping kids in their place (e.g., stash the grown-up ice cream in the back of the freezer and eat it after they go to bed)." - Publishers Weekly
"It's a way of life that too few parents are willing to impose these days, with negative consequences for both parents ("Hang onto yourself," Schipani advises. "You may need that person later") and children alike. But she feels the benefits are well worth it. "I am going to take these two little boys I've created and turn them into good men. If it kills me."" - mommytries.com
""Mean Moms Rule" is a great investment for all parents. She reminds me that being a firm and financially sane parent will help my little guy grow up to be a steady, self-disciplined young man." - dailyworth.com
"Mean Moms Rule is Denise's no-nonsense, reassuring, funny, and above all empowering take on parenting. She's not telling you her way is the only way, or that it's scientifically proven that xyz will result in abc. She's not trying to convince you that there's a right way to parent. She's just calling it like she sees it." - debbiekoenig.com
"Mean Moms Rule is a good reminder that we can be reasonable in our parenting." - aspiritedmind.com
"Denise Schipani has written an amazing book that every parent should own. I'm so proud to know that I am a MEAN MOM!" - theadventuresofsupermom.com
"Finally, a book that enforces good old fashion discipline, hard work and the regular use of the taboo word "NO"." - clutterbug.me
"Wow, I was feeling kind of guilty for having to constantly say no, but after reading a few of the pages my confidence has gone up and I will continue to be a proud mean mom." - everydaysimpleummi.blogspot.com
From the Back Cover
Denise Schipani shares her secret to being a 'Mean Mom,' and why it's better for your kidsand for youin the long run." Jen Singer, author You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either)
"'Mean' moms make kids learn to do things for themselves from making breakfast to finding inner peace. I'm hoping I'm a little meaner myself after reading this book." Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog FreeRange Kids
"I've chosen to be the kind of mother I feel is best, and that kind of mother is mean."
MEAN MOMS SAY NO.
MEAN MOMS ARE CONSISTENT.
MEAN MOMS TRUST THEMSELVES.
MEAN MOMS DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING.
MEAN MOMS TEACH KIDS THE LIFE SKILLS THEY NEED TO KNOW.
MEAN MOMS SLOW IT DOWN.
MEAN MOMS FAIL THEIR KIDS A LITTLE BIT EVERY DAY.
And mean moms prepare their kids for the world, not the world for their kids, raising children into adults who know how to make themselves happy.
Mean Moms Rule.
And their kids benefit
Denise Schipani writes about all things mean and motherly at www.confessionsofameanmommy.com
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The first 55 pages could have been done with in five. The point the author makes over and over and over again is that grown ups should be grown ups and read things like the New Yorker and not books about parenting because her mother would have never done so.
On the plus side: it's well written.
What bothers me about this book is that she almost only has her own mom as the right example. How in her mom's time, such and such was normal, to be so strict for instance, when actually in the beginning one of her cousins says: "aunt Carol. But she was so mean!" In other words, even for her time she had a very strict mom. Stupid detail, maybe, but it bothered me. Just like the part about the car wash bothered me. Starts off by saying how she only goes to have her car washed once a year because she doesn't have the time, then rants about how teenage girls don't know how to wash a car anymore - as if her boys will know if she only goes once a year.
I think there could be better books out there about setting boundaries, but for now I have some grown up stuff to do. After all, we can't have children running our lives now, can we!
Ever feel completely overwhelmed amid all the perfect, smiling, happy, everything-is-perfect moms of the playgroup? Read this. Relax. You're doing just fine.
Ever feel like you're just not having enough fun with your infant because you're tired and worn out and no one can understand why you don't think racing from Gymboree to Baby Music to Baby Play Group is fun? Read this. Relax. It's fine.
Basically, the idea is how not to lose yourself in your new mommyhood and how to focus on raising independent, responsible, respectful children and prepare them for life (eventually) on their own. And keep your sanity.
Common sense that just isn't so common anymore.
Mean Moms Rule is a well-written, easy to read book that basically brings you back to your true self as a parent. It reconnects one with intuition, inner guidance...and gives permission to those who are afraid of being judged as not "gentle (um...permissive) enough" to do those hard things that make for better kids...and eventually better grown-ups.
It gives a clear road of how to discipline, how to instill responsibility, how to teach, and how to reach BALANCE within the family. How to do what feels right once you've scraped away all the parental peer pressure and inner guilt for not being some idealistic parent figure. Denise covers all the basics that help you figure out what is right for *your* family...and to feel confident in doing just that.
As a mother of an AP'd toddler who eventually needed more boundaries than I could make, and a mother herself who needed more healthy boundaries for *herself*, I highly recommend this to all sorts of parents, gentle or not, AP or not.
Note that she does NOT condone CIO nor recommend that people do not co-sleep! She encourages you to research, decide, and then stick to whatever it is that you decide. I think she does this in a VERY respectful way.
Top international reviews
Before that it's a bit of a waffle and very "american" in terminology and in citing foods etc. So not that easy for us Brits to follow ! But the gist of the message ...taking the "long view" and preparing our kids for the world out there and not the world for them, is totally brilliant !