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The Measure of His Grief Paperback – September 6, 2010

by Lisa Braver Moss (Author)

20 customer reviews

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In The Measure of His Grief, a Berkeley Jewish physician wages a campaign against infant circumcision-and becomes more deeply committed to Judaism in the process. Dr. Sandor ("Sandy") Waldman, perceptive but nutty, self-absorbed but a visionary, fails to grasp the extent to which he's risking his marriage and career as he lives and breathes the circumcision controversy. As the story opens, Sandy's father, a Holocaust survivor, has died, and during the ritual mourning prayers, Sandy experiences an intense groin pain for which he can find no explanation. So begins a chain of events that will find Sandy engaging in provocative dialogue with everyone from self-congratulatory Bay Area forward-thinkers to hard-line religious and medical traditionalists. Told from alternating viewpoints, the story also follows Sandy's wife, Ruth, an innovative nutritionist and cookbook author, and their adopted daughter, Amy, feisty yet not quite sure-footed at nineteen. Ruth feels shut out by Sandy's newfound avoidance of sex and inability to face his grief. She secretly indulges the attentions of a surprising admirer, and initiates a marital separation. Amy, annoyed by Sandy's clueless attempts to guide and protect her, appreciates his radicalism. But she must separate from both her parents-and grapple with a bid for contact from her incarcerated birth father-in order to move forward with her life. Meanwhile, Sandy delves into Jewish study, seeking to reconcile his iconoclasm within Judaism. Certain he has the moral high ground about circumcision and everything else, he jeopardizes his status as the heir-apparent for Chief of Medicine at his HMO, and feeds into undercurrents of anti-Semitism around him. Sandy is appalled-yet intrigued-by a curious online discovery: a local support group for men "restoring" their foreskins. Could this be Sandy's ticket to redemption-his way to win back Ruth, regain his equilibrium, come to terms with his heritage?

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Lisa Braver Moss is the author of Celebrating Family: Our Lifelong Bonds with Parents and Siblings and co-author of The Mother's Companion: A Comforting Guide to the Early Years of Motherhood. Her work has appeared in the Huffington Post, Tikkun, Parents, and the San Francisco Chronicle, among other publications. Her collection of short essays, "I'm Not Impressed," can be found on the blog lisabravermoss.wordpress.com. A native of Berkeley, California, Lisa still lives in the area. The Measure of His Grief is her first novel.

Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (September 6, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1453720251
ISBN-13: 978-1453720257
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.9 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 20 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,252,266 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3759 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Genre Fiction > Religious & Inspirational > Jewish
- #29419 in Books > Literature & Fiction > World Literature
- #735829 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

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Everett Leiter

Answers the question: "What's the big deal about circumcision?"

August 13, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I just finished reading “The Measure of his Grief” by Lisa Braver Moss. I found it to be a major contribution to the discussion about circumcision vs. genital integrity. I can’t think of a better way than this fictional work to represent the questions (or lack of questions) that people have about circumcision. Yes, we can read about it in the popular press, scholarly publications, in the slogans of grassroots advocacy groups, in social media, and on various bulletin board sites. But none of these compares to the thoroughness and accuracy of Braver Moss’s portrayal of all the different conversations that are taking place. Protagonist Sandy Waldman, a physician, begins to question circumcision at the same time that his connection to Judaism deepens. Some of his medical colleagues express dismissiveness towards him for questioning the deeply ingrained medical tradition of circumcision in the United States. We also hear from expectant parents and other ordinary Americans who have never before questioned the medical custom of circumcision in America. Jewish leaders express varying views. They range from horror that the Jewish tradition of circumcision could be questioned to open-mindedness. And then, we witness the reactions of those who have already decided that circumcision without consent is morally repugnant. They are impatient with blind adherence to circumcision tradition, whether it is rooted in religious antiquity or in American medical customs. I humbly confess that I recognize a bit of myself in the impatient intactivists that Braver Moss portrays in this novel. Without diminishing the genius of ancient and medieval religious scholars, I also like to hear intelligent thoughts on circumcision and genital integrity from wise and rational people who have a modern perspective. Such a wise person is Lisa Braver Moss, a 21st century visionary, who lays out the conversations in this fictional work with compassion, enormous insight, and an obvious respect for Jewish spirituality.

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Annie T.

I read this book in one day!

October 2, 2010

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I started The Measure of His Grief on a saturday evening, slept the night, and then started reading again in the morning. Yes, it was that good and that absorbing! Lisa Braver Moss beautifully integrates a massive amount of information on circumcision into a family's life, yet the characters take center stage. I don't know if you all know who Richard Clarke is. He was a terrorism specialist in the Bush administration and then moved onto the field of cyber terrorism. He wanted to inform the public, and so after his first book, he wrote some novels filled with important information but delivered in novel form. This writer is to circumcision what Richard Clarke is to cyber terror.

Circumcision is a delicate topic with alot of dimension and the writer artfully crafts ways of delivering the range of feelings elicited and held. Initially I wondered how I might respond to reading about judaism and circumcision as the religious parts have never been prominent in any form in my life. I had no problem at all and was very interested in much of it. What was disturbing that I hadn't known is that the kind of cutting that to this day continues isn't even the original intent! I wonder how many folks who go along with this are aware of that fact!

The infancy pieces were done so touchingly in this novel ......especially in its relevance to father and daughter, though also in
recognition of when infants begin to feel pain.

Enjoy this important and engaging book.

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D. Sykes

Healing of the Wounded Masculine

April 30, 2014

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

A didactic novel that is also a page-turner – with "Measure of His Grief," this is not a contradiction in terms. Moss writes matter-of-factly and emotionally about sexuality: her characters are compelling with strong, well-differentiated voices. The resulting exploration of circumcision is even-handed and convincing. The practice, historically understood as a religious "covenant" in Judaism, and now standard medical practice in many developed countries, is a concrete wounding of the healthy masculine that is mirrored by other woundings of the masculine that are not so concrete. The main character struggles to be kind and ethical with his patients in a top-down, profit-oriented hospital setting; the adopted adolescent daughter struggles to feel effective in the world; and the wife, parented by a narcissist, struggles to find her own way in the face of her husband's new obsession with himself. This is a bold novel because it loves the whole of Judaism, but not the parts, and challenges the reader to argue deeply with tradition in terms of love and protection – thus outlining the possibility of a healed masculine in both Judaism and in the culture as a whole.

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The Measure of His Grief Paperback – September 6, 2010

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The Measure of His Grief Paperback – September 6, 2010

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