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Men and Friendship Paperback – November 1, 1991
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"Most men, particularly if they think about it, if they let themselves feel their personal truth about it, will admit that they are disappointed in their friendships with other men. Men may have wives, they may even have women friends, but their relationships with other men, which could be a true echo of their own manhood, are generally characterized by thinness, insincerity and even chronic wariness."
If you feel this way, I strongly recommend this book. At one time, I had virtually no male friends. I felt that men were aggressive, unwilling to talk about feelings, unable to be emotionally intimate and were terrified of tenderness. I had given up on half the human race.
Then I read this book, and understood how much I was missing. I still feel that many men are this way, but not all men are, and I began to open up and take risks with other men, especially the risk of rejection, but also the risk of feeling controlled, judged, belittled and abandoned.
I still downplay my strength, my inner power, my self-knowledge to avoid triggering a contest over "Who is the Alpha male?" But now I have several male friends, and I can relate successfully to my four brothers.
Friendship is too important to give up on. Please, read this book if you are missing out on having male friends.
What is striking is how much the author cares about his friends and the value and meaningfulness of friendships in a world that does not take this topic very seriously as in previous eras. He is intellectual about it, but also practical -- he really wants to translate his theories into practice and build better, long-lasting friendships with a variety of men.
This book can be had for a penny! Send away for it if you are at all interested in how men can truly become genuine friends with one another, even in today's world of 2,587 Facebook friends (98% of whom you may not even really know very well).