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Men Made Easy: How To Capture His Heart Forever Paperback – April 3, 2015

4.5 out of 5 stars 69 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Let this excerpt from the introduction speak for itself:

Within the pages of this book are Twelve Simple Secrets that I developed after interviewing hundreds of men. These Secrets will allow you to peek into the heretofore well-guarded private recesses of a man’s heart and soul. As if by magic, the Secrets will cause your man to treat you more and more like a queen. He won’t be able to help himself. He’ll respond as if in a trance. He’ll begin to change in ways you had hoped he would in the beginning of your relationship, ways in which you probably gave up on long ago.

Twelve Simple Secrets that will change your life.

Do you still believe in romantic love? Do you long to have it be a part of your relationship? Are you willing to admit that you want the little-girl dreams of a handsome prince carrying you off to his castle to live happily ever after? You’re not alone. Most women do.

Some people say the fairy tales created the dream. I believe the fairy tales were written because the dreams were a natural outcome of many women’s deep heart longings to be cherished and adored; to be protected and cared for; to be thought of as beautiful in the eyes of a man who would do anything, even slay dragons, for her love. But somewhere along the way, the minutia of daily life filled the void and you almost forgot about the dream…almost. Instead, you settled; settled for comfortable, settled for occasional, settled for "It could be worse." Once you know all Twelve Secrets, you’ll no longer be settling because you’ll watch your relationship change, right before your eyes… effortlessly…and discover that your fantasies are beginning to come true.

Expectations only disappoint us.

The expectations that many women carry to the altar are pretty high. Most men fall short––often quite short––of those expectations. But the Secrets revealed in the pages of this book can make most any man become more like that mythical Prince Charming. He’ll become more attentive, more romantic, more loving, more caring, and a lot of everything else you dared not hope for.

A man doesn’t usually pay much attention to his relationship. Either it works or it doesn’t. A woman is more attuned to the subtle nuances that give her what she craves within her relationship…or not. As you read this book, you’ll feel yourself shifting from within, and you’ll find yourself interacting with your husband or boyfriend in brand new ways. As you shift, he will. Like the Pied Piper, you lead and he follows. As you learn the Secrets, and take them to heart, you’ll see how truly simple it is to completely transform your relationship.

* * * * *

For several years, I facilitated women’s self-discovery workshops. I heard the heartache and disappointment that surrounded their relationships. I saw the destruction that divorce and crushed dreams could cause. I watched women cry, held them in my arms, and wiped their tears.

I could empathize because I grew up wanting the same dream. I had a good marriage for almost thirty years, but there wasn’t any passion or romance. I used to cry myself to sleep, silently huddled on my side of the bed. He was a good man, I told myself, but a lot was missing for me. After twenty-seven years of marriage he began to do things that I could not respect. After a difficult year-and-a-half struggle, we divorced.

I’ve since discovered what it’s like to be with a romantic, passionate man who makes me feel beautiful and womanly, a generous man who cherishes and adores me, who wants to take care of me and make me happy, and I will never again settle for less. That’s what fulfills my deepest heart’s desire. That’s what makes me feel most fully and completely a woman.

• • •

People ask me how I came to know these Secrets about men. Very simply, I made men a focus of study. I’m very intuitive and, because of the self-discovery workshops I facilitated over several years, I developed the skill of understanding people. It served me when it came time to understand men.

Throughout this book I make some pretty bold and broad generalizations about men, and sometimes about women. Obviously, there will be exceptions to each and every claim I make. After all, we are all individuals. But almost without exception, men have agreed wholeheartedly with each of the Secrets, and they’re grateful that I’m sharing this information with women. Believe it or not, just about every man I spoke to agreed with the following comment made by a window salesman from Houston. "There’s nothing that comes anywhere near what it feels like to love and be loved by a woman. My wife makes everything else worthwhile."

We can learn from ancient cultures.

Because cultural anthropology is my educational background, when I ponder why we do the things we do, I come from a larger perspective. I use logic and intuition in concert with what I have learned about psychology, culture, biology, evolution, as well as anthropology. Could my conclusions be wrong? Of course. Are they useful? Absolutely! If you believe as I do that love and trust grow out of greater understanding, then you’ll agree that every shred of wisdom adds depth to your relationship and your ability to create everlasting love. The Secrets revealed in this book will open your eyes so much so that you’ll feel as if you’ve been blind.

I’ve been blessed to be able to travel all over the world. I’ve been particularly interested in visiting tribal cultures in places like Papua New Guinea, Indonesia, and Africa. I’ve seen most of the tribal behavior that I discuss in this book, much of which is driven by, and evolved because of, survival. Comparing what I’ve observed firsthand to the ancient cultures I learned about in my studies of cultural anthropology, it’s obvious that not much has changed. I used what I know of cultures today and made conclusions about how life for ancient men and women might have been, and compared it to our modern ways of interacting and behaving. Understanding creates more harmony.

You’ll have amazing leverage once you can look beneath your man’s outer shell, the one that has all the answers, never gets emotional, and doesn’t quite understand why you want romance. Not only does this book give you some reasons for his sometimes frustrating behavior, it also points out why you and he are so very different. Once you understand that much of what he does and how he reacts is a variety of automatic responses––such as needing to succeed, to solve problems, and how easily he’s aroused––you will be better equipped to get what you want from him and your relationship.

Culture––that which we learn and pass on––is as powerful in determining our behavior as physical evolution, and in many ways, even more so. Personal pride, integrity, competition, and of course the all-powerful social shame can do wonders to keep us in line. Culture is strong, but it can be overridden…when you know what to do.

We want more from our relationships.

Today, thankfully for most of us, survival is not in the forefront of our concerns. Quality of life is what we care about. We want more from our experiences and from our relationships with others. The Twelve Simple Secrets will give you more of what you want because the seemingly Grand Canyon–sized chasm that separates men from women can actually be bridged.

On the next page you will begin a playful adventure that will carry you to new places of the heart. A glorious new life filled with the magic of ever-deepening love awaits you. Come, follow me to a cottage by an enchanted forest, filled with dreams-coming-true and happily-ever-afters. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Author

When I first started interviewing men, it was because of a seminar that I was teaching where I had a panel of men come into the room in the afternoon and answer any and all questions the women wanted to ask. But I was surprised by how much insight they were giving me into how they thought, what they were afraid of, how they felt about women, their needs, and desires. I absolutely had to share what I'd learned with women. Thus, Men Made Easy was born and I've never once regretted I took this path. Women let me know regularly what a difference my book has made on them and their relationships, which makes it all worth while. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 244 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (April 3, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1511588322
  • ISBN-13: 978-1511588324
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #994,865 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book is admittedly old, and perhaps a lot has changes culturally since it was published. I am in my early 20's, so that might make a difference.

My first gripe is that about half of each chapter is written as a story, and the other half is straight to the point. The book could have been half as long if the story was left out.

Secret 1: Use feminine grace. Essentially she tells you to dress so you feel pretty, be nice, never be "ugly" (both physically and in behavior). Always wear pretty/sexy underwear. I totally agree with being nice to people in general, and overall have no complaints with this one, except she suggests using kissing as a reward system.

Secret 2:Men need to be understood and accepted for who they are. Basically don't try to change men, don't try to fix them, etc. Good advice

Secret 3: You are his only source of intimacy. This chapter is based on the broad generalization that all women are social creatures with at least one close friends and wide circles of friendships while men have only acquaintances and no close friends. It completely discounts anyone who is outside of this norm. We, as women, must then make ourselves completely available for our men to be their best friend, in all circumstances.

Secret 4: Sex is the only way men know how to be intimate:says to understand that men are socialized to not feel emotions or connect with people, so they can only express intimacy through sex. They can't possibly say and mean "I love you", so they say it through sex. I think this discounts human variation too much, and really doesn't give men enough credit.

Secret 5: Men have high hopes for monogamy. Great news, right?
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8 Comments 77 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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By A Customer on July 30, 1999
Format: Paperback
After hearing the author on a radio show I hoped this book would be the answer I'd been searching for. After 11 years of marriage things were at a stand still and I was beginning to feel like maybe I should cut my losses. I can't even put into words what a gift this book has been. It's like Tinkerbell came into our lives and sprinkled her fairy dust all over my husband and I. We're actually in love again.
I've read other relationship books but this was so simple to put into practice. It came naturally and has made a huge difference. I don't see how any woman can be without this information. And, like the author says, we women already know what's in the book but it's like we've forgotten it. What a great feeling to get reacquainted with it.
The twelve secrets are easy to understand and the newfound understanding I have for my husband has made my love for him come alive again. I've passed the book to two friends and they loved it too. It's like we have this special shared thing. It's nice. I think every woman who reads it will want to share it with her friends.
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By A Customer on May 26, 1999
Format: Paperback
Dear Amazon.com readers, I recently stumbled upon a book my wife has been reading. I saw the title, MEN MADE EASY and thought, what the heck? Well, as I glanced through it I realized it was the reason my wife has seemed so much more interesting to me lately. Ladies, what the book says is true, take its advice to heart and your man will definitely be more interested in pleasing you. And guys, if you want things to get a whole lot better at home, buy her this book. Neither of you will be sorry. Good luck! carl
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By A Customer on July 30, 1999
Format: Paperback
So often I've purchased self-help books but was all-too-often disappointed. kara Oh is not trying to impress us with mountains of information. The book is written in a light and breezy manner and very accessable to any reader. I loved having the fictional characters teach us the information instead of a dry treatise. Lots of fun information that any woman can apply to her relationship and enjoy immediate benefits.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book has solid advice when it comes to dating men. I'm a man and can contest to this. The information shared in this book is really great advice including "why men crave intimacy more than woman" and "why men are driven to make women happy". Such a great read!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have been reading and studying Kara Oh's materials for almost a decade. Her teaching has been an important part of my healing process after leaving an 18 year abusive marriage in 2005. Her teaching has helped me to see that before any one can love me the way I deserve to be loved, I have to first love me the way I deserve to be loved. Understanding how men and women communicate differently is healing, and learning better ways of expressing my needs and connecting with a man's has further helped my healing process. I'm not perfect by any means, but after dating for 6 years (one of which was NOT GOOD for some of the very reasons she talks about in this book), 2 years ago my long-term boyfriend and I decided to move in together and get married. Kara's teachings on participating in open and loving communication are crucial in our marriage, and we both believe we have an amazing, open, nurturing and growing love affair as a result of keeping our lines of communication as open and authentic as they are gentle and kind.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was looking for a book for my 24 year old niece for the holidays. After breezing through the beginning of the book I kept it for myself. I love the format on how it is written and presented. Though I was a bit negative toward the suggestions in the beginning - I thought I would give them a try. The ideas worked. Sticking with the concepts is a bit hard since I have spent many years going through "the settling". Another plus from my direction - busy mom, special needs child, managing and running my own firm - it is short and an easy read - entertaining.

As for my niece, who is frustrated with finding that "perfect mate" - she may still get her copy.
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