.5 out of 5 stars (as in.....one half star, and BARELY that.)
A friend and I were talking and this book came up. She seemed shocked I had never read it. I'm a huge fan of expanding my knowledge in any way, plus, I'm married! So I decided to give it a whirl.
This book would likely only be useful in the 50's, when women belonged at home, cooking, cleaning and taking care of babies...and were meant to be fully submissive to their husbands. If you want to believe that men and women are equals, this book is NOT for you. I am by no means a feminist, that whole movement these days is just obnoxious, but holy moly this book is sexist! Words cannot express how awful this book is, but I will give it a try for the purpose of enlightenment.
The main bullet point of this book is that women need to walk on eggshells and tip toe around their men, for fear of upsetting them in some way. I'm a big reader of non-fiction/self-help type books. I love knowledge. I am also a big under-liner in books. I underlined one sentence that was somewhat intelligent. the rest of the time I just asterisked with LOL or OMG next to it! Let me find a few excerpts for y'all!
(Side note, I buy a ton of books, so I buy them all used on Amazon. It seems whoever read it before me didn't even get as far as I did before realizing how awful it was. Highlighting the first few dozen pages, then nothing.)
Ok, here is some of a list of things not to say to your husband, because it will upset him . (Or, as stated in the booked verbatim, "...ways a woman may unknowingly annoy a man...")
"There's a parking spot over there."
~If this annoys your husband, you have a ridiculous brat for a husband. Seriously?!
"You should spend more time with the kids; they miss you!"
~I can see that this could possibly bug some guys, but it should more be bugging them that THEY have put themselves in a position for someone to tell them that their kids miss them.
"Oh, you forgot to bring it home again? Maybe you could put it in a special place so you will remember it."
~Again, if your 'man' gets upset at you for saying this, you don't have a man; you have a whiney baby.
"Without an understanding of how they are turning men off with unsolicited advice, many women feel powerless to get what they need from a man. [...]
"[...] What if his table manners are atrocious or he dresses really badly? What if he's a really good guy but has a habit of behaving in a way that makes him look like a jerk?[...]"
"The answer is, she should definitely not offer advice unless he asks."
~Ha! OMG! So a man could be completely oblivious and is actually embarrassing himself, but instead of letting him know, you don't want to annoy him so you continue letting him make an arse of himself?!
Then, in that situation the book gives the following advice...
"She should say to him "There is something I want to talk about, but I don't know how to say it. I don't want to offend you. Would you listen and then suggest a better way that I could say it?"
~Right?! I'm not even making that up!!!! I mean, I know I have a ridiculously amazing husband, but come on. I seriously feel sorry for anyone who is in a relationship that this book would be helpful to.
"To withhold correcting a man is a way to nurture him. Giving advice is only helpful if he asks for it."
~If he doesn't know he is doing something wrong, how could he possibly know to ask for advice?!
"When a man becomes quiet he is saying "I need some time to think... I will be back. ", but he doesn't realize that a woman hears "I don't love you, I can't stand to listen to you, I am leaving and I am never coming back!"
~If you are a woman or your woman has ever thought this way......you/she needs some serious mental health help...STAT!
"Women don't think of giving appreciation, because they assume a man knows how appreciated they are."
~Say what?! I tell my husband thank you every time he cuts the grass. I tell him I appreciate him calling the mechanic so I don't have to. I tell him that I am grateful that he ran out to get something from the store that I may have forgotten to buy. In fact, I'd say the opposite is likely true, MEN often don't verbalize appreciation, even if they do appreciate.
Good grief this book is AWFUL! I quit just past page 100. It was pure torture to read this. PLEASE do yourself and your marriage a favor, and DON'T read this.
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