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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex Paperback – April 3, 2012

4.1 out of 5 stars 1,334 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women--men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, after all--and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge and accept these differences before they can develop happier relationships. In this unabridged version, Gray gives a spirited delivery of his message, especially when role-playing typical male/female interactions. Although it takes some time to adjust to his slightly nasal tone, the information is sound and gives both men and women helpful hints on improving themselves and their union. (Running time: 9.5 hours, 6 cassettes) --Sharon Griggins --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapist Gray ( What You Feel You Can Heal ) adds to the growing number of self-help books that assess marital and relationship problems in terms of distinct and pervasive gender differences. Unfortunately, his overuse of gimmicky, often silly analogies and metaphors makes his otherwise down-to-earth guide hard to take seriously. Here Martians (men) play Mr. Fix-It while Venusians (women) run the Home-Improvement Committee; when upset, Martians "go to their caves" (to sort things out alone) while Venusians "go to the well" (for emotional cleansing). While graphically illustrative, the hyperbolic, overextended comparisons, particularly in the chapters that refer to men as rubber bands and women as waves, significantly detract from Gray's realistic insights.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (April 3, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060574216
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060574215
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,334 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,547 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Michael Aherne on October 12, 2005
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Before writing this review, I spent some time looking over many of the other reviews on here. The spread is interesting, and I think it comes from a misunderstanding of the very limited scope of this book.

First off, if you're looking for a book to explain the innate differences (if there are any?) between men and women, this is definitely not it. Further, if you're looking for a book that dives deep into communication theory and has profound statements regarding the nature of good communication, this is equally lacking. The title betrays the purpose. This book is a badly written collection of common sense ideas and tactics to use when communicating in a relationship.

Why 4 stars? Because common sense is not as common as people think. I am amazed at the 1-star ratings by "intellectuals" who charge that this book stands on very shaky philosophic ground, and that it does not live up to the high caliber of true scientific studies into communication fundamentals and/or gender differences. Get a grip! That's not the purpose of the book!

This book is equivalent to an "Idiot's Guide to Listening, Respect, and Communication, with Easy-to-Remember Examples." Intellectuals charging that the common person should read XYZ's scientific study about the fundamentals is missing the basic point -- I don't want to know the fundamentals of communication (at the moment), I just want to know why my last girlfriend got offended when I offered solutions when she was complaining about work. Sounds simple? Not for all of us.

I have a degree in rocket engineering and I am very confident that I could tear a book about "Physics for the common person" to ribbons for making vast over-generalizations and ignoring (what I consider to be) key details in the trade.
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Format: Paperback
Finally after 12 years and fourteen worldwide very successful million copies, MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS comes out across the USA in the more affordable paperback. Rather than the typical "I liked it, but" format, my experience with the book was that I wound it liking it more and more as it went on, but the introductory chapters almost stopped me flat.
In school we were warned not to write in "Glittering Generalities," yet Gray does his best to make a virtue of that. Who but a stand-up comedian would dare say "Canadians love Good Government, Americans love Liberty"? Or: "Californians crave B vitamins, Midwesterners crave protein"? Gray's whole thesis sounds just as simplistic at first. (In general, and with exceptions), Men are from Mars: Competitive, individualistic, not into "caring and sharing," wanting to be admired for their ability to hang tough and deliver the goods yet unwilling to communicate the fact they need admiration. And Women are from Venus: Craving respect from their men, looking for emotional bells and whistles and not so much material status symbols as their men might suppose, prone to cycles of emotional fatigue and dependent on their mates to cherish them. In the beginning it all sounded so like a 1950s Tupperware Party I almost gave up.
But I didn't, and eventually the book works, in no small part because Gray writes patiently and simply but not simplistically, supported by a huge pool of real-life examples from his own therapy sessions (and apparently lots of "plugs" from earlier editions of his books at its successors). It's hard to argue with people who tell you their marriage was saved by this book.
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Format: Audio CD
A friend recommended this book to me a year ago, but I didn't want to read it at that time. But later, my 30-year old son told me he heard the casette and liked it, so I decided to give it a try.
When I began to read the book, I was impressed with the way it described some of the differences between men and women. The book gave me a lot of insight and answered some of the questions I've puzzled about for a long time. However, I got bogged down with the book's repetitiveness.
Since my son liked the tape, I bought it(abridged) and found I liked the concepts even better in a condensed form. After listening to the casette several times and understanding it, I enjoyed the book better, too. The wisdom of its concepts began to grow on me. Now, I often think of the concepts taught. Using them increases understanding between us in our marriage. The concepts aren't difficult, just different than what I would think up on my own. I found my husband likes the tape, too. We're going on a trip this weekend and plan to take the tape along and listen to it again.
I appreciated ways to word feelings that I couldn't think of how to express before. Sometimes feelings and words are very far apart in our heads. The book helped me to express how I feel, and it helps us to have better discussions on the way we feel without getting angry about it. I was often amazed at a concept and checked it out with my husband, and he always agreed with what was taught as a man's point of view.
This book and tape help us remember that men and women are different, and they are meant to be different! So, let's enjoy it and work together instead of complaining about it!
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