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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex Paperback – April 3, 2012

by John Gray (Author)

1,567 customer reviews

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The most well-know, long-lived, and tried-and-tested relationships guide ever, the phenomenal #1 New York Times bestseller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is now available for the first time ever in trade paperback. In this classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication by acknowledging the differences between their needs, desires, and behaviors. No other relationship guide on the market will give you the same level of evidence-based insight sure to help you strengthen and nurture your relationships for years to come.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women--men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, after all--and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge and accept these differences before they can develop happier relationships. In this unabridged version, Gray gives a spirited delivery of his message, especially when role-playing typical male/female interactions. Although it takes some time to adjust to his slightly nasal tone, the information is sound and gives both men and women helpful hints on improving themselves and their union. (Running time: 9.5 hours, 6 cassettes) --Sharon Griggins --This text refers to the Audible Audio Edition edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapist Gray ( What You Feel You Can Heal ) adds to the growing number of self-help books that assess marital and relationship problems in terms of distinct and pervasive gender differences. Unfortunately, his overuse of gimmicky, often silly analogies and metaphors makes his otherwise down-to-earth guide hard to take seriously. Here Martians (men) play Mr. Fix-It while Venusians (women) run the Home-Improvement Committee; when upset, Martians "go to their caves" (to sort things out alone) while Venusians "go to the well" (for emotional cleansing). While graphically illustrative, the hyperbolic, overextended comparisons, particularly in the chapters that refer to men as rubber bands and women as waves, significantly detract from Gray's realistic insights.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Audible Audio Edition edition.

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Product details

Paperback: 368 pages
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (April 3, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780060574215
ISBN-13: 978-0060574215
ASIN: 0060574216
Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 1,567 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,237 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #5 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Gender Studies > Men
- #23 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance
- #34 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Women's Studies

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Top customer reviews

Take what works, leave the rest

ByHannahon January 1, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I've mixed feelings on this book. On one hand, it articulates a good framework for the gender generalities that I've observed and for the most part, the author takes care not to paint with a broad brush. In fact, his intro takes care to acknowledge individual differences within that gender spectrum. He also provides a lot of good strategies for peacemaking and reconciliation as well, like the Love Letters. I especially liked the ending chapter on the seasons of love-- it matches what I've seen in long-term relationships.

On the other hand, I definitely felt that much of his advice was very heavily slanted in the man's favor, at significant risk of turning the woman into a doormat. For example, when a man withdraws, the author advises the woman to basically just accept it if the man doesn't want to come out and provide the needed or requested support. This ranges from simple requests like "could you take out the trash" to rather necessary errands: "could you take me to the shop to pick up my car so I can go to work" or "could you pick up our kid from school" (taking examples from the book). If someone resisted doing those last two things, especially on a regular basis, I would seriously question his/her priorities, as well as their suitability as a partner and parent.

I would also regard an unwillingness to provide emotional support as a yellow flag, especially if the onus for emotional maintenance falls on one party-- in this book's case, it's usually the woman. Is the man upset? The woman has to give him space and be caring and accepting, no matter how he responds. Is the woman upset? She has to figure out why she's upset, tell the man she's upset, then sit back and... basically leave the rest up to him. If he becomes caring and accepting in turn, great. If he's still distant, then the onus falls back on her to do more work. In other words, many, if not most, of the author's proposed sacrifices seem to fall on the woman to bear, because men are the way they are (i.e., from Mars). I can't really think of a section in which he says, "men, if a woman responds this way, just accept it-- that's how women are."

Overall, I'd keep and re-read the book for its insights, but it's very much picking out what works and glossing over the rest.

44 comments 66 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

There is a way to gain understanding of the opposite sex!

ByMLivelyon January 24, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

A continuous read for life. Through the ups and downs in a relationship, as a couple, we reconnect and enjoy reviewing the various topics as we strive to maintain our happy bond. We have made it our project for our quarterly get away to read together the topic we each feel we need to strengthen. Over the years and through the different mediums I have obtained this book at least 4 times. I still have a hard copy, as well as my digital copies. I have also purchased this book for friends who have raved over its success for them as a couple.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

OMG!! "DOCTOR" GRAY REPEATS AND REPEATS AND REPEATS AND REPEATS AND....Zzzzzzz

ByTHE ULTIMATE PIZZA MANUAL Fanon September 8, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

OMG!! "DOCTOR" GRAY REPEATS AND REPEATS AND REPEATS AND REPEATS AND....Zzzzzzz

There is about FIVE pages of real content in this book (not bad, but not great writing) BUT it gets repeated and repeated, ad nauseum, for over 300 pages!

I read the first 30 pages and then skipped to the middle of the book, AND IT'S STILL THE SAME STUFF GETTING REPEATED AND REPEATED!

I had plenty of experience working with PhDs in graduate school, and believe me, this is more of the same st**f, Pilled Higher & Deeper.

0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNo

Get ready for a shift in perspective

ByMeganon July 19, 2014

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This book opened my eyeballs to lots of things. While I was reading it, I honestly thought, "The author is sexist and can't possibly help me and my partner because we are modern and above all this conflict." Then I got married and grew up a little bit and was grateful for how much of the book I was able to call to mind, because boy did some of that information come in handy. I'm not saying that all of the descriptions of male and female behaviors in this book apply to everyone, but if you are a male or female person, you could probably benefit from reading this book.

0Comment 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Excellent guidance for any and all relationships, not just romantic.

ByMichelle Jon July 27, 2017

Format: Audio CDVerified Purchase

I appreciate the reality of his concepts here now that I have had more experience of life with men. I appreciate the practical applications of how-to approaches for both sexes involved. This book not only helps me to understand men better, and it also helps me to understand myself. Truly this sensible direction applies to ANY relationship once one understands how the genders tend to think, feel and act naturally biologically. A must read for any and all.

0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNo

this book is excellent. Couples who have been married a long time ...

ByG. Ellison January 5, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

For newly married couples, or couples who are having a hard time communicating, this book is excellent. Couples who have been married a long time learn the hard way, so read the book and save yourself a lot of pain and trouble. Communication is the key to any good relationship, and this book is a great aid in husband/wife communication.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

This book is amazing..

ByAmazon buyeron August 18, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book is amazing... I mean it teaches you how to understand a man's behavior without making men feel attacked. John Grey says what to do and how to respond back towards men, without making men feel defensive. Not only that, it teaches Men how to respond to women's emotions and feelings, and how to attend or accommodate them. Genius, I tell you, I definitely recommend this book!

0Comment 7 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Good book for relationships

ByJason C.on March 20, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

A really really good book for relationships. Someone recommended that I read this and I'm loving it. I wish I would have read this when I was like 16 years old to understand women better. Should be required reading in High School.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

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Most recent customer reviews

Although this is a good read most of the information it gives seems too ...

Although this is a good read most of the information it gives seems too generalized and stereotypical. It's best to be skeptical while reading it.

Published 44 minutes ago by Yildiz Kabaran

Five Stars

This is a revolutionizing book. Tt helps you understand yourself and your mate.

Published 1 day ago by ManagerTabor

Five Stars

Great insights. Helping me to communicate with my lovely wife.

Published 7 days ago by oldnateman

So much insight. I now have hope! Hopefully my wife reads this too!

I first heard of this book years ago and wish niteI would have read it then.
I recommend this to any one wanting more from their relationship, or to learn more about the...Read more

Published 9 days ago by Nathan H.

Five Stars

good

Published 10 days ago by david taylor

Would recommend this!

Great insight

Published 10 days ago by Amazon Customer

Five Stars

Great read

Published 15 days ago by Rose Shannon

Very helpful - its funny to read and see how accurate the examples are ...

Very helpful - its funny to read and see how accurate the examples are of how men and women misread each other.Read more

Published 16 days ago by Amazon Customer

Five Stars

Loved it.

Published 16 days ago by teresa garner

One Star

Not a very good book. Not what I expected. Need to return it.

Published 17 days ago by Vivi Banks

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