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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex Paperback – April 3, 2012

by John Gray (Author)

1,544 customer reviews

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The most well-know, long-lived, and tried-and-tested relationships guide ever, the phenomenal #1 New York Times bestseller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is now available for the first time ever in trade paperback. In this classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication by acknowledging the differences between their needs, desires, and behaviors. No other relationship guide on the market will give you the same level of evidence-based insight sure to help you strengthen and nurture your relationships for years to come.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women--men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, after all--and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge and accept these differences before they can develop happier relationships. In this unabridged version, Gray gives a spirited delivery of his message, especially when role-playing typical male/female interactions. Although it takes some time to adjust to his slightly nasal tone, the information is sound and gives both men and women helpful hints on improving themselves and their union. (Running time: 9.5 hours, 6 cassettes) --Sharon Griggins --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapist Gray ( What You Feel You Can Heal ) adds to the growing number of self-help books that assess marital and relationship problems in terms of distinct and pervasive gender differences. Unfortunately, his overuse of gimmicky, often silly analogies and metaphors makes his otherwise down-to-earth guide hard to take seriously. Here Martians (men) play Mr. Fix-It while Venusians (women) run the Home-Improvement Committee; when upset, Martians "go to their caves" (to sort things out alone) while Venusians "go to the well" (for emotional cleansing). While graphically illustrative, the hyperbolic, overextended comparisons, particularly in the chapters that refer to men as rubber bands and women as waves, significantly detract from Gray's realistic insights.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product details

Paperback: 368 pages
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (April 3, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780060574215
ISBN-13: 978-0060574215
ASIN: 0060574216
Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1,544 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,360 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Gender Studies > Men
- #16 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance
- #21 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Women's Studies

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Customer reviews

1,544

4.5 out of 5 stars

5 star		60%
4 star		18%
3 star		8%
2 star		5%
1 star		9%

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Take what works, leave the rest

ByHannahon January 1, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I've mixed feelings on this book. On one hand, it articulates a good framework for the gender generalities that I've observed and for the most part, the author takes care not to paint with a broad brush. In fact, his intro takes care to acknowledge individual differences within that gender spectrum. He also provides a lot of good strategies for peacemaking and reconciliation as well, like the Love Letters. I especially liked the ending chapter on the seasons of love-- it matches what I've seen in long-term relationships.

On the other hand, I definitely felt that much of his advice was very heavily slanted in the man's favor, at significant risk of turning the woman into a doormat. For example, when a man withdraws, the author advises the woman to basically just accept it if the man doesn't want to come out and provide the needed or requested support. This ranges from simple requests like "could you take out the trash" to rather necessary errands: "could you take me to the shop to pick up my car so I can go to work" or "could you pick up our kid from school" (taking examples from the book). If someone resisted doing those last two things, especially on a regular basis, I would seriously question his/her priorities, as well as their suitability as a partner and parent.

I would also regard an unwillingness to provide emotional support as a yellow flag, especially if the onus for emotional maintenance falls on one party-- in this book's case, it's usually the woman. Is the man upset? The woman has to give him space and be caring and accepting, no matter how he responds. Is the woman upset? She has to figure out why she's upset, tell the man she's upset, then sit back and... basically leave the rest up to him. If he becomes caring and accepting in turn, great. If he's still distant, then the onus falls back on her to do more work. In other words, many, if not most, of the author's proposed sacrifices seem to fall on the woman to bear, because men are the way they are (i.e., from Mars). I can't really think of a section in which he says, "men, if a woman responds this way, just accept it-- that's how women are."

Overall, I'd keep and re-read the book for its insights, but it's very much picking out what works and glossing over the rest.

44 comments 51 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Amazing Self-Improvement Book for Couples 💑

ByElizabeth Zarateon May 21, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Delivered on expected date. I really enjoyed reading this book. This book has absolutely changed my life and provided me with more self-awareness the way I communicate with my boyfriend. The book also emphasizes on the six primary unique love needs
Men Need: Trust, Acceptance, Admiration, Appreciation, Approval, and Encouragement.
Women Need: Caring, Understanding, Respect, Devotion, Validation and Re-Assurance.

Without an awareness of what is impotence to the other sex men and women don't know or realize how much they maybe hurting or depriving their partners.

If your having difficulties understanding why your partner behaves a certain way, this book will provide you with better insight and help you to process why women and men act certain ways hence the title book name "Men are from MARS and Women are from Venus. By far, it's the BEST self-improvement book for couples. All I HAVE TO SAY IS BUY IT!!!!

0Comment 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Exactly what I needed, look no further!! Everything you need is inside this book!!!!

ByAlicia Conleyon June 5, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This was such a relief to read! I simply understood everything in this book! I definitely can relate and there was many "Ah-Ha" moments of realizing where I need to improve myself to be the best Me I can be. I can apply all these techniques in every relationship I have whether it's with my spouse, parents, children, co-workers etc etc. hands down this IS THE BEST book ever! A realistic book! This will definitely be given out as wedding gifts for sure!!! I'm so thankful to finally be able to understand myself and the opposite sex! Don't hesitate this is a MUST have immediately!!!! Excellent life tools right here in this book!! I laughed, I cried in relief, I became angry at my selfish unconscious ways but I was also happy while reading this book!

0Comment 2 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Great book. After all these years is still relevant ...

ByBookwormon June 29, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Great book. After all these years is still relevant and it's true that your parents did not teach you this nor did they practice this kind of communication. Which is why that althought they also loved each other they also fought alot. Read it! It works! It's also true that if one person in the relationship changes..... the other will follow automatically. Seeing is believing!!

0Comment 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Amazing, only wish I had read this earlier in life.

ByJon Non July 10, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

After recently going through a painful breakup I picked up this book on a whim this morning to try and understand better the things my ex expressed about our relationship and how it went wrong. I've been unable to put it down and have a feeling it will consume me for the next few days. If we both had read this early on I think things would be quite different today. The examples cited through out struck close to home... it's all about understanding the mind of the opposite sex and how to communicate with them in the correct way, which may seem foreign to you at first. Totally floored... I took a chance with the Kindle sample, but half expected self help fluff that might just make me feel a bit better and teach little, but this goes so much deeper!

0Comment 21 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

There is a way to gain understanding of the opposite sex!

ByMLivelyon January 24, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

A continuous read for life. Through the ups and downs in a relationship, as a couple, we reconnect and enjoy reviewing the various topics as we strive to maintain our happy bond. We have made it our project for our quarterly get away to read together the topic we each feel we need to strengthen. Over the years and through the different mediums I have obtained this book at least 4 times. I still have a hard copy, as well as my digital copies. I have also purchased this book for friends who have raved over its success for them as a couple.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

I Recommend This Book to Everyone

ByJosephSon January 18, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I read this book after it was recommended to me by my mother. It's engaging, interesting and the knowledge contained in this book is very well articulated and thought out. I recommend this book to every person, even those who are not dating or in any form of a relationship, as the facts contained in this book are useful for every relationship (even those of the same gender!).

0Comment 2 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

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Most recent customer reviews

but still found it fun to read

A bit repetitive and stereotypical, but still found it fun to read. It was interesting to see how most men and women think and act, though I think every man and woman has a little...Read more

Published 5 days ago by JA

Five Stars

Very easy read!

Published 7 days ago by jazzy

Helpful even for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships

Currently reading this book with my boyfriend (we're in our early 20's). It's not the most "exciting" book to read (perhaps just at our age), but it's helpful in our day...Read more

Published 10 days ago by Salty Squirrel

Good book

I read this several years ago. Loved it. Ordered it as a wedding gift for my niece. Very good advice and information in this book.

Published 11 days ago by Marlene Gann1

This book has obviously been written by a man.

This book did have some enlightening ideas but still placed the burden of a successful relationship squarely on the woman.Read more

Published 13 days ago by Brian Robinson

Five Stars

Excellent must read.

Published 18 days ago by colleen m mccleery

Five Stars

Easy to read, well written, good psychology, fun

Published 20 days ago by Giorgia G

Excellent read

Read this twenty years ago, it is still very relevant, insightful and enjoyable. I highly recommend this book to help with understanding the opposite sex

Published 26 days ago by Jefferson C Lewis

"The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" is far better for this, but it is helpful supplemental info on why he does what he does

This book has some underlying misandry. The sad thing is I do not think the author even realizes it.Read more

Published 26 days ago by C

Five Stars

This book is hilariously true.

Published 28 days ago by Eva

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