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For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women Hardcover – April 3, 2006

4.6 out of 5 stars 298 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"The authors use their Christian beliefs and the results of a survey to explain that women need security, approval, and consistent emotional connection—all of which are often frustrated by men’s obsessions with logic and competition, as well as their need for regular periods of isolation. The production is a handy guide for understanding women, rather than a theological lesson or a resource for troubled marriages. Bible quotes and mental health prescriptions are minimized in favor of practical insights and advice. Nathan Larkin somehow tones down the already low-key writing, thus flattening the material even more but not threatening its accessibility. The generalizations about what men expect are uninspiring, in spite of the narrator’s attempt to speak buddy to buddy with his male listeners." 
T.W. © AudioFile Portland, Maine
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn is a bestselling author, newspaper columnist, and public speaker. She holds a master's degree in public policy from Harvard University and has worked on Wall Street and Capitol Hill. Shaunti is a nationally syndicated weekly columnist on women's issues for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Jeff Feldhahn is the president and CEO of World2one, a tech company that he helped found in 1999. Also an attorney, he graduated from Harvard Law School and has worked at law firms in New York and Atlanta specializing in corporate law and nonprofit organizations. Shaunti and Jeff are active leaders in their church and enjoy encouraging married couples toward greater intimacy with God and each other.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Multnomah; 1 edition (April 3, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590525728
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590525722
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 7.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (298 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #65,353 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Rebecca of Amazon HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on June 9, 2006
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
"It's a huge shocker to talk to hundreds of women and find that while financial security is nice, it isn't nearly as important to them as feeling emotionally secure - feeling close and confident that you will be there for her no matter what." ~ pg. 17

If you are reading this book and your wife is reading "for women only," you may be in for a lovely time if you talk about the issues. By reading the "for women" and "for men" books, my husband and I finally sorted out the basis of our differences.

These books can at first cause more problems than they solve because as problems surface and you put names to the issues, things can get worse. A few days later, you may find your relationship on a better path and renewal setting in. The ideas almost require you to put pride aside and set to work on the real issues facing every relationship.

The chapters include:

Rethinking Random - Great information on how women want to feel emotionally secure. I could not agree more. If you don't feel loved, it is difficult to be motivated to respond. Respond and Respect seems to go hand in hand when loved.

The Deal is Never Closed - "Buried inside most women- even those in great relationships-is a latent insecurity about whether their man really loves them."

Windows...Open! - How women multitask and why they may not be able to let go of a grudge. Shows how to work through problems.

Your Real Job Is Closer to Home - Why women said they wouldn't mind their husband making less money if he could spend more time at home.

Listening Is the Solution - Why women sometimes just need to talk it out...excellent
advice. Some of the best I've read yet.
Read more ›
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Format: Hardcover
My wife and I were going to be teaching seperate guys and girls Bible studies this summer. We bought this book, as well as For Women Only, in order to read up some in preparation to teach. We got a lot more than we bargained for.

On the one hand, this book will help neither of us much in preparation for our classes. On the other hand, it is a great book that I think every person should read. We began reading one night together, and almost instantly, our relationship began to improve. We didn't even have a bad relationship, but there's always room for improvement, right?

This book is easily accessible for just about anyone. The writing style is simple to read, and you will move along quickly. There is enough humor to make you chuckle throughout. While there are quite a few statistics, you won't find yourself bogged down in them. The research is done well and fairly unbiased. There are also some very practical things that anyone can do to help improve on their relationship.

My wife and I kept finding ourselves asking each other about the findings in the book. Amazingly enough, "For Men Only" seems to catch the truth about most women (just as "For Women Only" does about men). The writers are Christians (as are my wife and I), but they don't start with Scriptures to base their point. They let the statistics speak for themselves, and it just so happens that many of the results line up with biblical evidence.

All things said, it is a great book. It is a quick and easy read, as well as extremely helpful. If you are in a relationship, you can't afford not to read this book. My only suggestion is this...both partners need to read the volume for them together. It will open amazing dialogue between you.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I'm a woman, and I read "For Women Only" first. In fact, I read that book several times, started to apply it, told my boyfriend about it, and then asked him if he'd like to read "For Men Only." He happily agreed. I first read the book (constantly thinking, "You mean, men don't know that!?!") while I also marked how I would have answered the survey questions. My boyfriend has now read this book several times and has started to apply it. He says he loves how I treat him (using information from "For Women Only") and I'm in bliss right now from his efforts to apply what he learned in "For Men Only." I've read other books on similar subjects, but none really get to the heart of the issues like these two little books. Thanks so much for writing them!

Update: Men (and women!), please don't think you're an expert on your mate just because you read this book several times. It's a great book, but listen if someone tells you that a part doesn't strongly apply to them! Believe me, most women would love this, but I'm getting sick and tired of being told I'm so beautiful and rock my boyfriend's world. That was never an issue for me and hearing this two or three times every time we interact is making the words lose all meaning to me, but my boyfriend won't stop because "it's in the book!"
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As a pastor of 27 years who does a lot of counseling, I wish this book had been written years ago. It clearly and succinctly discusses how women think and what they need from their husbands.

I have read many books about male/female differences (and numerous counseling books), so much of the material here I already knew. I was reading it to determine if I should recommend it to folks I counsel. I was surprised to find useful and practical information here I had never seen before.

For example, I have always known that women could multi-task and divide their attention, unlike men who focus intently upon one thing at a time. But I never knew that women could not help dividing their attention -- computer-like "windows" of thought involuntarily pop up in their minds, "windows" that could not be easily closed. This fact of "thought bombardments from the past" fits the reality I have observed, but I never could put my finger on it before reading this book.

The chapter about sex would help so many men and improve the sex lives of so many couples.

My only objection in the book is that it includes, "significant others," thus implying the legitimacy of live-in relationships. This is atypical for evangelical publishers.

Nonetheless, pastors and Christian couples will benefit greatly from this book.
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