- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Baker Books (April 18, 2017)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0801019370
- ISBN-13: 978-0801019371
- Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,257 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships Paperback – April 18, 2017
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From the Back Cover
Friendship is one of God's greatest gifts.
We long for deep and lasting friendships, but they can be challenging to make--and keep. Our expectations of ourselves and our friends can often leave us feeling insecure and isolated. With engaging true stories and guidance drawn from Scripture, Christine Hoover offers a fresh, biblical vision for friendship that allows for the messiness of our lives and the realities of our schedules. She shows you:
- what's holding you back from developing satisfying friendships
- how to make and deepen friendships
- how to overcome insecurity, self-imposed isolation, and past hurts
- how to embrace the people God has already placed in your life as potential friends
- how to revel in the beauty and joy of everyday friendship
"This book will minister to you no matter what season of life you are in and no matter what your current perspective on friendship may be."--Gloria Furman, author of Missional Motherhood and Alive in Him
"Filled with biblical wisdom, practical advice, and compelling personal stories, Messy Beautiful Friendship reminds us exactly why friendship is a gift from God and how we can give and receive it with grace, gratitude, and joy."--Michelle DeRusha, author of Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk
"Finally, here is a timely word to women, using God's Word as guidance, on how to do this crazy thing called friendship well."--Sara Hagerty, author of Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet
Christine Hoover is a pastor's wife, mom, speaker, and the author of From Good to Grace and The Church Planting Wife. She has written for The Gospel Coalition, Desiring God, and Christianity Today. Blogging at www.GraceCoversMe.com, she enjoys helping women apply the gift of God's grace to their daily lives. She lives in Virginia.
About the Author
Christine Hoover is a pastor's wife, mom, speaker, and the author of From Good to Grace and The Church Planting Wife. She has written for the Gospel Coalition, Desiring God, and Christianity Today. Blogging at www.GraceCoversMe.com, she enjoys helping women apply the gift of God's grace to their daily lives. She lives in Virginia.
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Top Customer Reviews
“We are not guaranteed or entitled to heart friends. They are gifts of grace, and when we catch glimpses of sisterly love, we must receive it as such with deep gratitude.”
“… the goal of friendship is to secure ourselves to the sure, steadfast anchor of Christ and, while holding to that anchor, give and receive the gift of friendship as we have opportunity. The goal is to enjoy God together with others and, as we move through life, to sharpen and allow ourselves to be sharpened by friends. We imitate Jesus with one another, willing to face the stark realities and consequences of sin, all the while persevering in our efforts to offer love, grace, forgiveness, reconciliation, comfort, and care to one another. In doing so, we display to one another and the world how God loves and, through this, bring him glory. This is our destination, the point on the map we move toward: bringing God glory.” pg.39
“In our envy of other women and who they are and what they have, we have chosen not to celebrate them or allow them to get close. In our childishness, we’ve been inconsiderate in thinking that friendship is for us and about us and should be what we want. We’ve been inwardly critical, and outwardly too, though we might not have dared to address the person directly. We’ve been judgmental and partial and argumentative and a million other things that sting and divide. These are ashes of our own making.” pg. 59
“We are to observe our friends. What are her gifts? What stories has God written in her life that could become an impactful ministry to others? What lies and patterns of behavior are hindering her relationship with God? What does it seem God is trying to do in her life? As we observe, we use our words to confirm her gifts, exhort her to ministry, encourage her growth, and excite her as to what God is doing in her life. Our honey-words have the power to stir up love and good works in the lives of our friends.” pg. 132
This book has blessed, encouraged and challenged me in the way I think about friendships. This is such a helpful book and I highly recommend it.
“A rich opportunity for friendship exists when we reject the ideal wish-dream, understand God’s design for friendship, and embrace those imperfect women who are right in front of us.” -Christine Hoover
One of the reasons I love Christine’s writings is because she is pretty transparent without feeling like she’s airing her dirty laundry for all to see. This book is no different. She admits where she did the friendship thing right and where she did the friendship thing not so right. While reading almost every chapter I could write a different friend or acquaintance’s name when I had a similar situation happen in my life. But also she’s pointing to the gospel. Not just to remind us that God was the original friend to Adam and Eve in the garden when He walked with them but also to remind us that “God is God and people are people.”
All too often in our lives we place unrealistic expectations on people as if they are God and we expect them to comfort us only the way God can comfort us. They are not God. We should never expect people (mere humans) to satisfy needs only God can satisfy. On the topic of God in our friendships Christine also reminds us that, “God isn’t afraid to enter brokenness, and we shouldn’t be either, because all we’re really doing is bringing him into the situation anyway.” People are messy because the world is messy, and the world is messy because sin is messy. We should count it a blessing that God let us have friendships. He could have ended the whole friendship thing after Adam and Eve but He did not.
In her last chapter she offers this wisdom, “May our friendships in the present day be received as gifts from God for us–but may they not be only for us. May they be signposts, guiding any who will stop and seek directions toward what our hearts innately crave most, pointing the seeker toward a Person and a place where all longings will be longings no more.”
This book would be great for book clubs! Not only are the chapters short enough to read on a lunch break or waiting in a car line but it also includes a discussion guide at the end! There is really no excuse not to read this book!
Moreover, reading the book was a breath of fresh air as I realized that I was not alone in this struggle. Especially in the online world we live in, it is so easy to think everybody else has such an easy time being friends- and through the funny and heartfelt stories she shares, I was so encouraged to find this is not the case. I highly recommend this book on a subject which is not too often addressed. Christine really wants us to use, nurture, and create friendships for their true meaning- the glory of God.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
There are lots of books about friends. There are lots of books about women. There are lots of books aimed at Christian women.Read more