I am 40. I am male. I trim my toenails when they punch through my socks or my wife complains that I'm shredding the sheets. I have never removed a callus. I didn't even know what calluses were until mine got to the point that I could hardly walk from the pain of having quarter inch stalagmites of dead skin driving into my feet. I lost a bet with my wife and had to go get a pedicure, which was a total waste of 50 bucks getting a slimy foot rub from a high school dropout that looked like she was going to barf. So after that little gem of an experience I shopped around a bit and bought this bad boy, as per the Tribe of Amazon's reviews. In Amazon we trust.
First of all let's get the griping over with: this should be jet black with a skull-and-crossbones, not chocolate brown. Power tools should all be black. A death motif is always a plus. This sucker should come with hardware for mounting it in your garage, or better yet a black holster you can strap to your leg. Because it's far more dangerous than any pistol. Han Solo could outshoot Greedo with this thing.
Like all men, I tossed the instructions in the trash, whipped off my socks, and started filing away. The first thing I noticed was that a) it didn't hurt, and b) I was grinding off an unbelievable amount of dead skin. Because it didn't hurt I decided it was defective and started furiously sawing back and forth. Grind, grind, grind, and now skin was flying like dust from a bandsaw. That was more like it. After about 30 minutes on each foot I had the kind of beautiful, pink baby feet that fetishists dream about. Chucked the meat dust into the garbage, took a shower, and thought nothing of it as I went to bed.
I'm pretty sure the next morning I awoke to the shrill from the smoke alarm going off. Did you know your feet can spontaneously combust? My beautiful pink piggies looked like denuded Vienna sausages. My heels were blood red and inflamed. I could hardly make it to the first aid kit. I wound up slathering about a gallon of Vaseline on each, wishing I had BP around to dump an oil spill on me. Through sheer manly perseverance (read: screaming profanity and crying like a wee girl) I was able to get socks and shoes on, despite my wife's humiliating laughter. I spent two crippling days hobbled to my desk at work and trying to walk as little as possible. Mornings and evenings meant more Vaseline and trips to the grocery store for econo vats of the stuff. By the way, standing in the express checkout with a pained expression while buying huge containers of Vaseline and a baguette your wife asked you to pick up is a great way to strike up a conversation with folks. Made some good friends, yes sir.
TL;DR: this thing works. It's like a chainsaw for your feet. Just shave a little off at a time, and do it over the course of a few nights and not one sitting.
Frequently bought together
- +
Total price:
To see our price, add these items to your cart.
Choose items to buy together.
More items to explore
Page 1 of 1 Start overPage 1 of 1
Product Description
Compare with similar items
Videos
Page 1 of 1Start OverPage 1 of 1
Videos for this product
0:56
Click to play video
watch me pamper my hubby... he loves this
Jackie Moravek
too good to be true, but it is true!
Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2014
EDIT: I have seen several comments about how my before and after picture has been used for other products, but I want to clarify that this is MY FOOT and the before and after was from using the Microplane Colossal Pedicure Rasp. I also still use it, to this day, and it has changed my life.Ever since I can remember being alive, I have had THE WORST heels you've ever seen. Hard, cracked, dry... like cement for skin. This is most likely due to my love for flip flops during the summer, Minnesota winters, and constantly being barefoot in my home. I hate socks. I had come to accept my heels for what they were, disgusting ugly horrible things. Although, I hated them. They got stuck on my sheets, my feet never felt clean, my friends and family constantly commented on how gross they were. But I didn't know what to do about it. I had tried IT ALL. Every pumice stone that exists, that good for nothing ped egg thing, heel creams, heel balms, SANDPAPER, some thing from a drug store that looked exactly like this rasp, but smaller and way less efficient. So the other day I'm on Amazon and I decide to search "ped egg" just because I was desperate with my heels being EVEN WORSE because of winter and I had thrown mine away. I stumbled upon this rasp instead, saw the reviews, clicked order a second later, picked next day shipping, and that was that.It came today. I cannot get over how big this thing is, it's like a huge cheese grater. I took a deep breath and started filing away at one of my horrible heels. Skin bits and dust flew off, like a buzz saw. I could not believe it. I said out loud, to nobody, "OH MY GOD." because I could finally see the skin under my dry, cracked heels. I was able to file away all of the dry skin on my heels in under a minute each with this rasp. I called my mother in tears after because I could not believe it. I put some heel balm on them after and they are baby soft. I have soft heels, normal people heels. Heels that aren't scary to look at. Heels that don't get stuck to things. Heels that can actually feel what is beneath them. It's an absolute miracle. I submitted a before and after along with my review and I apologize for the disgusting before picture, but it's important to see what this rasp did. In one use. Under one minute. Unbelievable.If you have any doubts about whether or not this will work for you, you don't need to. If it can work for me, it can work for anybody. I literally had dried, cracked cement for heels and now I have baby soft skin from one use. I've never seen results like that in my life.
Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2014
Images in this review
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 9, 2013
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 2, 2023
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 30, 2014
Ever since I can remember being alive, I have had THE WORST heels you've ever seen. Hard, cracked, dry... like cement for skin. This is most likely due to my love for flip flops during the summer, Minnesota winters, and constantly being barefoot in my home. I hate socks. I had come to accept my heels for what they were, disgusting ugly horrible things. Although, I hated them. They got stuck on my sheets, my feet never felt clean, my friends and family constantly commented on how gross they were. But I didn't know what to do about it. I had tried IT ALL. Every pumice stone that exists, that good for nothing ped egg thing, heel creams, heel balms, SANDPAPER, some thing from a drug store that looked exactly like this rasp, but smaller and way less efficient. So the other day I'm on Amazon and I decide to search "ped egg" just because I was desperate with my heels being EVEN WORSE because of winter and I had thrown mine away. I stumbled upon this rasp instead, saw the reviews, clicked order a second later, picked next day shipping, and that was that.
It came today. I cannot get over how big this thing is, it's like a huge cheese grater. I took a deep breath and started filing away at one of my horrible heels. Skin bits and dust flew off, like a buzz saw. I could not believe it. I said out loud, to nobody, "OH MY GOD." because I could finally see the skin under my dry, cracked heels. I was able to file away all of the dry skin on my heels in under a minute each with this rasp. I called my mother in tears after because I could not believe it. I put some heel balm on them after and they are baby soft. I have soft heels, normal people heels. Heels that aren't scary to look at. Heels that don't get stuck to things. Heels that can actually feel what is beneath them. It's an absolute miracle. I submitted a before and after along with my review and I apologize for the disgusting before picture, but it's important to see what this rasp did. In one use. Under one minute. Unbelievable.
If you have any doubts about whether or not this will work for you, you don't need to. If it can work for me, it can work for anybody. I literally had dried, cracked cement for heels and now I have baby soft skin from one use. I've never seen results like that in my life.
too good to be true, but it is true!
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 30, 2014
EDIT: I have seen several comments about how my before and after picture has been used for other products, but I want to clarify that this is MY FOOT and the before and after was from using the Microplane Colossal Pedicure Rasp. I also still use it, to this day, and it has changed my life.Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 30, 2014
Ever since I can remember being alive, I have had THE WORST heels you've ever seen. Hard, cracked, dry... like cement for skin. This is most likely due to my love for flip flops during the summer, Minnesota winters, and constantly being barefoot in my home. I hate socks. I had come to accept my heels for what they were, disgusting ugly horrible things. Although, I hated them. They got stuck on my sheets, my feet never felt clean, my friends and family constantly commented on how gross they were. But I didn't know what to do about it. I had tried IT ALL. Every pumice stone that exists, that good for nothing ped egg thing, heel creams, heel balms, SANDPAPER, some thing from a drug store that looked exactly like this rasp, but smaller and way less efficient. So the other day I'm on Amazon and I decide to search "ped egg" just because I was desperate with my heels being EVEN WORSE because of winter and I had thrown mine away. I stumbled upon this rasp instead, saw the reviews, clicked order a second later, picked next day shipping, and that was that.
It came today. I cannot get over how big this thing is, it's like a huge cheese grater. I took a deep breath and started filing away at one of my horrible heels. Skin bits and dust flew off, like a buzz saw. I could not believe it. I said out loud, to nobody, "OH MY GOD." because I could finally see the skin under my dry, cracked heels. I was able to file away all of the dry skin on my heels in under a minute each with this rasp. I called my mother in tears after because I could not believe it. I put some heel balm on them after and they are baby soft. I have soft heels, normal people heels. Heels that aren't scary to look at. Heels that don't get stuck to things. Heels that can actually feel what is beneath them. It's an absolute miracle. I submitted a before and after along with my review and I apologize for the disgusting before picture, but it's important to see what this rasp did. In one use. Under one minute. Unbelievable.
If you have any doubts about whether or not this will work for you, you don't need to. If it can work for me, it can work for anybody. I literally had dried, cracked cement for heels and now I have baby soft skin from one use. I've never seen results like that in my life.
Images in this review
Top reviews from other countries
Bee Thomas-Jones
Goodbye hard skin!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on May 14, 2017
Priz
since stupidly binning my old one which was great..
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 21, 2017Eep
30 years of hard skin gone!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 18, 2018Keith
Wow hard skin gone in moments
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on May 21, 2018
