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The Microstress Effect: How Little Things Pile Up and Create Big Problems--and What to Do about It Hardcover – April 18, 2023

4.4 out of 5 stars 77 ratings

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How a million little things are dragging you down, and what to do about it.

There's a force we encounter every day that we aren't aware of—and it threatens to derail otherwise promising careers and lives: microstress.

This hidden epidemic of small moments of stress has insidiously infiltrated both our work and our personal lives with invisible but devastating effects. Microstress doesn't trigger the normal stress response in our brains to help us deal with it. Instead, it embeds itself in our minds and accumulates daily, one microstress on top of the other. The long-term impact can be debilitating. Unregistered microstress weighs us down, damages our physical and emotional health, and contributes to a decline in our well-being. What's more, microstress is baked into our lives. The source is seldom a classic antagonist, such as a demanding client or a jerk boss. Instead, it comes from the people with whom we are closest: our friends, family, and colleagues.

The good news is that once you understand microstress, you can fight back. Drawing on fresh research, Rob Cross and Karen Dillon explain the science behind the phenomenon. They also share the secrets of a small set of people who've endured their share of microstress but have still managed to cultivate relationships that enable them to thrive both at work and in life. Compelling interviews with these high achievers bring to life best practices that show you how to build resilience against microstress and ultimately how to find purpose—purpose that helps you break free from this quietly invasive force that's stealing your life.

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From the Publisher

Microstress threatens to detail otherwise promising careers and lives.
Tom Rath endorsement
Jacqueline Williams-Roll endorsement
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Break free from this quietly invasive force and thrive in work and in life

Editorial Reviews

Review

As seen in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Quartz, Fast Company, and more.

Named one of the Top 23 Productivity Books of 2023 by The Next Big Idea Club

Named one of the "Best summer books of 2023" by the Financial Times

"Through their research, which involved hundreds of interviews with high performers across a multitude of companies [Cross and Dillon offer] strategies to make small adjustments that reduce the impact of microstress—in particular, by strengthening connections with others." — Financial Times

"The Microstress Effect is a great read for anyone, but especially for the person who wants to understand where their mental energy is going and how best to rebuild and protect it." — Porchlight Books

"… Cross and Dillon bring a fresh perspective to navigating the small pressures of the day…" "This book empowers you to take back control of your life by eliminating microstresses and replacing them with micromoments of meaningful connections with others that will give you a rich, multidimensional life." — TD magazine (Association for Talent Development)

"In the authors' words, 'to enjoy overall well-being, you must develop strategies not only to combat stress but also to help you live the life you want to live through resilience, physical health, and purpose.' This reminder, for me, was the most powerful message I got from this very useful book." — Psychology Today

Advance Praise for The Microstress Effect:

"The Microstress Effect is a revelation. Cross and Dillon offer practical and sensible strategies for regaining control of your time and your well-being, drawn from years of academic research. If small hassles and burdens are infecting your life, this remarkable book is the antidote." — Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author, The Power of Regret, Drive, and When

"Cross and Dillon provide fresh insight into one of the most important topics of our time—why so many high performers are at risk of burnout in both their careers and their lives. Based on solid academic research, The Microstress Effect offers not only hope but also practical guidance for fending off microstress and living a rich, fulfilling life." — Susan David, #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling author, Emotional Agility

"This book should be required reading for corporate leaders and individuals alike! I will be giving it to the people I care most about." — Jacqueline Williams-Roll, Chief Human Resources Officer, General Mills

"I read this brilliant book and said 'Yup, yup, yup' over and over again. Cross and Dillon put the experiences of high performers into words. Microstresses exist and cause inordinate social, emotional, and physical risk. Following their astute insights, readers will recognize their own stresses and how to overcome them. Nothing could be more meaningful in this emotionally demanding time." — Dave Ulrich, Rensis Likert Collegiate Professor of Business Administration, Ross School of Business, University of Michigan; Partner, The RBL Group

"Timely, credible, and timeless, with more practical tips for lowering my stress levels than anything I've read in years, The Microstress Effect is a game changer. I read it in one sitting and need the people around me to read it—now!" — Tom Rath, bestselling author, StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Life's Great Question

About the Author

Rob Cross is the Edward A. Madden Professor of Global Leadership at Babson College, cofounder and director of the Connected Commons, and the author of Beyond Collaboration Overload.

Karen Dillon is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, editorial director at BanyanGlobal Family Business Advisors, and the coauthor of three books with Clayton Christensen, including the New York Times bestseller, How Will You Measure Your Life?

Connect with Rob Cross and Karen Dillon on Twitter at @KarDillon and @RobCrossNetwork and on Connectedcommons.com, Robcross.com, and karendillon.net.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harvard Business Review Press (April 18, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1647823978
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1647823979
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.25 x 1 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 out of 5 stars 77 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
77 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book well-researched and practical, with one mentioning it provides tools for personal and professional life. The book effectively addresses stress management, with one customer noting it focuses squarely on well-being. They appreciate its actionable approach, with one review highlighting how it breaks concepts down into micro actions.

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10 customers mention "Advice"9 positive1 negative

Customers appreciate the book's well-researched content and find its insights and ideas immensely practical, with one customer noting it provides tools to incorporate into personal and professional life.

"...the book is extraordinarily well-researched and the insights and ideas immensely practical, so much so I've given both my kids (20 and 22) the book..." Read more

"...honest, although I fell asleep while listening to this book because it's so good, it reminds me of narcissistic books...." Read more

"...Rob Cross and Karen Dillon did an excellent job figuring out what makes high performers tick, and ways they navigate around micro stresses...." Read more

"...Rob Cross and Karen Dillon pack this lively gem with practical and proven solutions...." Read more

6 customers mention "Stress level"6 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate how the book helps remove stress from their lives, with one customer noting that it focuses squarely on well-being, while another mentions it provides a positive perspective.

"...And personal well-being, of course, will continue to be a highly important topic to individuals, teams, organizational leaders, and policy makers...." Read more

"...It will help you eliminate pesky microstressors, suffer less from your remaining troubles, and--by taking joy from the lovely little moments—travel..." Read more

"...explicitly to people working in a corporate environment, I found it inspiring and helpful even as a solo freelancer working from home." Read more

"Stressed at work? This book shares how successful people manage stress and breaks it down into micro actions...." Read more

3 customers mention "Actionable"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly actionable, with one mentioning how it breaks down concepts into micro actions.

"...Dillon have done the work and packaged it in such an enjoyable, actionable format...." Read more

"...This book shares how successful people manage stress and breaks it down into micro actions. I am reminded of the book, Small Bets...." Read more

"Exceptionally insightful and highly actionable..." Read more

Such an important and enjoyable read!
5 out of 5 stars
Such an important and enjoyable read!
We're all constrained by time, and we all have limited energy before it needs to be restored. These are human realities. They are, however, often ignored, or at least under-appreciated. Cultural norms have been created that suggest we have to, almost at all costs, "push through", "be resilient", or "exhibit grit"... and doing so often comes at the expense of relationships, emotional health, physical health, and overall well-being. How thus to manage our time and energy, our personal capacity? This is what The Microstress Effect explores, and I'm extraordinarily grateful Rob Cross and Karen Dillon have done the work and packaged it in such an enjoyable, actionable format. As you'll discover, the book is extraordinarily well-researched and the insights and ideas immensely practical, so much so I've given both my kids (20 and 22) the book. After all, being attentive to current and potential distractions, setting boundaries, creating and maintaining priorities, managing capacity, finding way to re-energize, etc. have all been consistent themes as they've become young adults. It's also great that they, like me, have discovered blind spots. For example, the nurturing of authentic, vulnerable relationships has historically, at least for me, thought to have been a luxury, something that's done after all key priorities have been addressed. Now, I'm viewing them as essential, an activity that builds capacity instead of takes it away. Simple, yes. Something that many practice habitually? No. Learning why this needs to change in my own life (and that of my kids) has been empowering and, honestly, enjoyable. The above is just one example; so while Beyond Collaboration Overload focused on performance, The Microstress Effect focuses squarely on well-being. And personal well-being, of course, will continue to be a highly important topic to individuals, teams, organizational leaders, and policy makers. For now, though, the great majority of the responsibility for maintaining and enhancing personal well-being will fall to us individuals. We thus need the tools to thoughtfully and proactively manage our well-being, as well as be equipped to help colleagues and loved ones manage theirs. This book shows how this can be done, and done in healthy, sustainable ways. I sure enjoyed the read, and if you've found this review helpful I have a strong sense you will as well. To makin' great things happen!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2023
    We're all constrained by time, and we all have limited energy before it needs to be restored. These are human realities. They are, however, often ignored, or at least under-appreciated. Cultural norms have been created that suggest we have to, almost at all costs, "push through", "be resilient", or "exhibit grit"... and doing so often comes at the expense of relationships, emotional health, physical health, and overall well-being. How thus to manage our time and energy, our personal capacity? This is what The Microstress Effect explores, and I'm extraordinarily grateful Rob Cross and Karen Dillon have done the work and packaged it in such an enjoyable, actionable format.

    As you'll discover, the book is extraordinarily well-researched and the insights and ideas immensely practical, so much so I've given both my kids (20 and 22) the book. After all, being attentive to current and potential distractions, setting boundaries, creating and maintaining priorities, managing capacity, finding way to re-energize, etc. have all been consistent themes as they've become young adults. It's also great that they, like me, have discovered blind spots. For example, the nurturing of authentic, vulnerable relationships has historically, at least for me, thought to have been a luxury, something that's done after all key priorities have been addressed. Now, I'm viewing them as essential, an activity that builds capacity instead of takes it away. Simple, yes. Something that many practice habitually? No. Learning why this needs to change in my own life (and that of my kids) has been empowering and, honestly, enjoyable.

    The above is just one example; so while Beyond Collaboration Overload focused on performance, The Microstress Effect focuses squarely on well-being. And personal well-being, of course, will continue to be a highly important topic to individuals, teams, organizational leaders, and policy makers. For now, though, the great majority of the responsibility for maintaining and enhancing personal well-being will fall to us individuals. We thus need the tools to thoughtfully and proactively manage our well-being, as well as be equipped to help colleagues and loved ones manage theirs. This book shows how this can be done, and done in healthy, sustainable ways. I sure enjoyed the read, and if you've found this review helpful I have a strong sense you will as well. To makin' great things happen!
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Such an important and enjoyable read!

    Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2023
    We're all constrained by time, and we all have limited energy before it needs to be restored. These are human realities. They are, however, often ignored, or at least under-appreciated. Cultural norms have been created that suggest we have to, almost at all costs, "push through", "be resilient", or "exhibit grit"... and doing so often comes at the expense of relationships, emotional health, physical health, and overall well-being. How thus to manage our time and energy, our personal capacity? This is what The Microstress Effect explores, and I'm extraordinarily grateful Rob Cross and Karen Dillon have done the work and packaged it in such an enjoyable, actionable format.

    As you'll discover, the book is extraordinarily well-researched and the insights and ideas immensely practical, so much so I've given both my kids (20 and 22) the book. After all, being attentive to current and potential distractions, setting boundaries, creating and maintaining priorities, managing capacity, finding way to re-energize, etc. have all been consistent themes as they've become young adults. It's also great that they, like me, have discovered blind spots. For example, the nurturing of authentic, vulnerable relationships has historically, at least for me, thought to have been a luxury, something that's done after all key priorities have been addressed. Now, I'm viewing them as essential, an activity that builds capacity instead of takes it away. Simple, yes. Something that many practice habitually? No. Learning why this needs to change in my own life (and that of my kids) has been empowering and, honestly, enjoyable.

    The above is just one example; so while Beyond Collaboration Overload focused on performance, The Microstress Effect focuses squarely on well-being. And personal well-being, of course, will continue to be a highly important topic to individuals, teams, organizational leaders, and policy makers. For now, though, the great majority of the responsibility for maintaining and enhancing personal well-being will fall to us individuals. We thus need the tools to thoughtfully and proactively manage our well-being, as well as be equipped to help colleagues and loved ones manage theirs. This book shows how this can be done, and done in healthy, sustainable ways. I sure enjoyed the read, and if you've found this review helpful I have a strong sense you will as well. To makin' great things happen!
    Images in this review
    Customer image
    10 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2025
    I'm gonna be honest, although I fell asleep while listening to this book because it's so good, it reminds me of narcissistic books. It basically teaches you how to become a microstressor yourself, to others and that's how most people will use this book because we have to get used to the culture of people being evil today for no apparent reason just for the hell of it. That's what this book is about.
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2023
    Read it. Put it into action. Share it. REPEAT.

    This book now sits on my top 5 most influential books list. I’ve highlighted, dog eared, and written notes in the margins as reminders to reference monthly.

    Rob Cross and Karen Dillon did an excellent job figuring out what makes high performers tick, and ways they navigate around micro stresses. If you’re not familiar with the concept, it’s easy.

    Do you remember a time when all of a sudden you had an outburst and people look at you sideways? You then try to understand why in that moment you reacted that way. It’s called culminating micro stressors. Small events build up over time but don’t have an immediate impact will rupture like a volcano at an unknown moment.

    This book will help you navigate how to manage or alleviate this small moments that build over time so you can continue driving towards your goals, accelerate your career, and build a strong foundation.

    If you don’t believe me, then read the book.
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Remove Stress from Your Life

    Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2023
    Read it. Put it into action. Share it. REPEAT.

    This book now sits on my top 5 most influential books list. I’ve highlighted, dog eared, and written notes in the margins as reminders to reference monthly.

    Rob Cross and Karen Dillon did an excellent job figuring out what makes high performers tick, and ways they navigate around micro stresses. If you’re not familiar with the concept, it’s easy.

    Do you remember a time when all of a sudden you had an outburst and people look at you sideways? You then try to understand why in that moment you reacted that way. It’s called culminating micro stressors. Small events build up over time but don’t have an immediate impact will rupture like a volcano at an unknown moment.

    This book will help you navigate how to manage or alleviate this small moments that build over time so you can continue driving towards your goals, accelerate your career, and build a strong foundation.

    If you don’t believe me, then read the book.
    Images in this review
    Customer image
    4 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2023
    The Microstress Effect makes a compelling case that, for most of us, it’s the cumulative impact of one little problem after another that can ruin our lives. Rob Cross and Karen Dillon pack this lively gem with practical and proven solutions. It will help you eliminate pesky microstressors, suffer less from your remaining troubles, and--by taking joy from the lovely little moments—travel through your days with a zest for life.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2023
    The Microstress Effect is both well-researched and well-written, seamlessly blending stories from the interviews with framework and tools to incorporate into your personal and professional life. The categorization and explanation of the 14 common microstresses on its own is extremely helpful. Just the awareness of microstresses is immediately beneficial. However, the book goes way beyond that with “Coaching Breaks” and tools. The great thing is that working on these microstresses doesn’t require a total life overhaul - they emphasize that you can start small. Great book!
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2023
    This book brings such a healthy, positive perspective to the question that nags at all of us: How to deal with everyday stresses. While its lessons apply most explicitly to people working in a corporate environment, I found it inspiring and helpful even as a solo freelancer working from home.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2023
    Don’t bother and save your $ mostly filler repetitive and common knowledge . Five charts, tiresome long examples, disappointed big time
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2023
    There are way too many other useful books out there to waste your time on this one.
    The book was very repetitive and redundant.
    I capped out after the frog story. Has that ever been proven? Some research says it is a myth. If they can't do their research about a frog, why assume they researched anything.

    This may have been a B rated Ted Talk (minus the frog story), but it doesn't cut it as a book.
    Lucky for them, they had friends and family to give them good reviews.
    One person found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • MargB
    5.0 out of 5 stars MargB
    Reviewed in Australia on March 8, 2024
    I found this book very informative and helpful ✅
  • Pawan123
    5.0 out of 5 stars A good self development book
    Reviewed in India on November 13, 2023
    It’s a nice and easy read wherein we can relate to the situations and think about improving our life overall.