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Military Widow: A Survival Guide Paperback – June 8, 2006
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About the Author
M. Regina Asaro is a psychiatric nurse certified in death and bereavement and a crisis responder who worked with a team in Oklahoma City in the aftermath of the bombing and with the families of victims of the massacre in Srebrenica. She has presented many workshops on the impact of violent crime, grief, and traumatic loss.
Top Customer Reviews
The chapters are short, the coverage is excellent, and the "lessons learned" from other military widows stand out. Every word was written with the care of someone who has lived through the pain.
Many of the "lessons learned" in this book can help non-military widows and widowers. It helped me. I believe this book can even help non-widows understand the terrible burden of the military widow.
Part one: "Life and Death in the military," bring us into the diverse lives of widows in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and the Coast Guard. Military widowhood (and the focus is on the widow) is especially difficult. Joanne understands: "Protecting America does have its price, and for me, it was my husband's life."
Part Two is entitled: "Military grief is complex." It's usually associated with young widowhood, far from family and home towns. The circumstances of military death, when they died for a cause, when bodies are unavailable, when the mission is classified, makes things more difficult. The publicity around the death, as well as the funeral, often forces the military widow into the public eye.
Military widowhood comes without warning. Part Three: "When your husband dies suddenly," contrasts the circumstances of anticipated and sudden deaths. It dispels popular notions on how we should grieve. It encourages us to do the grief work necessary to move forward in the lives we never wanted. It describes how counseling and getting together with other widows can validate our feelings, with the experience of others. Special military grief issues include delays related to deployment.Read more ›
First, I guess, is the fact that this is a book for military widows, written by a military widow. Joanne Steen is the widow of a Navy helicopter pilot whose machine came apart in the air killing everyone on board.
Second, it is published by Naval Institute Press. The US Naval Institute has been around a long time and will remain around. They can (and I hope they will) keep this book available for a long time.
Third, while there is a lot of coverage in the press about the war in Iraq, most military people are killed in ordinary everyday ways. This includes heart attacks, automobile accidents, all the things that kill non-service people.
Fourth, the book covers every aspect you can imagine from the funeral to the kids.
I could go on, but by now you should have the picture. This is a book that every military chaplain, every casualty officer should have, read, study and give copies to the widows. Perhaps two copies, one immediately, and another in a month or so when they have had time to recover a bit.
I have read reviews that mentioned the book would have been helpful during the first days and weeks. Honestly, I do not think any book would be helpful so early. I just cannot imagine being able to sit and read and comprehend during a time when the mind is still spinning from the emotional trauma. But, everyone is different.
I think this book is much better suited at helping others understand what a military widow may be experiencing. Friends, family, CAOs, Rear Detachments, etc. I, however, did not feel I needed to read a bunch of stories about what I was experiencing and how it is "normal". I know what I am experiencing. I do not need to read somebody telling me what I am experiencing.
I gave this book four stars because it is well done and it is a great resource for those hoping to gain insight into the world of a military widow. I did not give it five stars because as a widow I did not find it helpful to read what I already know.
The diction and grammar make for easy reading, but the content (the 'real, live stuff' not covered in procedural manuals or instruction) requires reflection and study. This information is not available anywhere else; every wardroom, Chief's Mess, and Chaplain need a copy, and it should be provided to every family enduring the loss of a sailor or Marine.
This book is a force-multiplier.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
A practical guide for something you don't ever want to experience.Published 18 months ago by Bernie Grant
I lost my fiance about 3 months ago and i found this book to be very beneficial. It literally explained everything that I had thought or was thinking .. Read morePublished on February 15, 2013 by Victoria White
We were very fortunate to have met the author of Military Widow: A Survival Guide. The knowledge, stories and understanding from the first to the last page has been huge in... Read morePublished on March 13, 2012 by D Hostetler
This book was tastefully done and covers a wide variety of topics for the widows of our fallen. As a professional who works with military widows, I thought this book was... Read morePublished on January 23, 2012 by Rob Copeland
Military Widow: A Survival Guide, has been by far the most relevant book to read as I have unwantingly trudged through the journey as a new military wife turned widow. Read morePublished on April 19, 2011 by TW
I wish I had this book yrs ago when my husband was killed in Iraq 4 yrs ago. It's great. But it's geared to the widow within the first 2 yrs of her grief. Read morePublished on June 26, 2007 by M. Caldwell
My husband was killed in Iraq last year. I found this book to be an excellent grief resource. It helped me to understand military grief a little better and showed me that the... Read morePublished on November 3, 2006 by Patience Stevens Allen
This book is a true blessing for anyone who now has the unwanted title of being a military widow. When my husband was killed in a car accident 6 years ago, I became a military... Read morePublished on October 10, 2006 by Sarah Dyess
Military Widow: A Survival Guide shows tremendous insight into the challenges a young military widow experiences. Read morePublished on October 6, 2006 by D. Atkins