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The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions Paperback – April 29, 2009

by Christopher K. Germer (Author), Sharon Salzberg (Foreword)

138 customer reviews

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“Buck up.” “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” “Don’t ruin everything.” When you are anxious, sad, angry, or lonely, do you hear this self-critical voice? What would happen if, instead of fighting difficult emotions, we accepted them? Over his decades of experience as a therapist and mindfulness meditation practitioner, Dr. Christopher Germer has learned a paradoxical lesson: We all want to avoid pain, but letting it in--and responding compassionately to our own imperfections, without judgment or self-blame--are essential steps on the path to healing. This wise and eloquent book illuminates the power of self-compassion and offers creative, scientifically grounded strategies for putting it into action. Free audio downloads of the meditation exercises are available at the author's website: www.chrisgermer.com.

See also The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, which provides step-by-step guidance for building mindful self-compassion skills and applying them to specific life challenges.

Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit

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From the Publisher



How can you use this book for self improvement?	Accept self-critical thoughts to move forward on the path to healing	Cultivate mindfulness to live a more balanced life	Break free from anxiety by changing how you relate to it	Learn to move through painful emotions without being ruled by them
	Discover self-compassion through creative strategies and techniques	Use effective strategies and step-by-step action plans	Follow along with examples and step-by-step strategies	Use meditation and acceptance practices to build self-knowledge and self-compassion
	Live more fully in the moment and practice being kind to yourself	Become more focused, cope with difficult emotions, feel less stressed, and more	Achieve a new level of emotional and physical well-being	Overcome the stumbling blocks of worry, fear, and negativity

Review

"Those of us treating people who struggle with addictions know all too well how clients' feelings of shame or self-blame often undermine efforts to achieve effective interventions. In this remarkable book, Germer shows readers how to use mindfulness and self-compassion to open up to their pain and treat themselves with kindness. Ideal for recommendation to clients who have fallen off the wagon or who are blaming themselves for failed relationships, lost jobs, and scattered lives, this book offers a way out of a vicious cycle."--G. Alan Marlatt, PhD, Department of Psychology and Director, Addictive Behaviors Research Center, University of Washington

"In this important book, Christopher Germer illuminates the myriad synergies between mindfulness and compassion. He offers skillful and effective ways of making sure that we are inviting ourselves, as well as others, to bathe in and benefit from the kind heart of awareness itself, and from the actions that follow from such a radical and sane embrace."--Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, author of Arriving at Your Own Door and Letting Everything Become Your Teacher

"Loving-kindness and compassion are the basis for wise, powerful, sometimes gentle, and sometimes fierce actions that can really make a difference--in our own lives and those of others....In the following pages you will find a scientific review, an educational manual, and a practical step-by-step guide to developing greater loving-kindness and self-compassion every day."--from the Foreword by Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness

"Self-compassion is the ground of all emotional healing, and Dr. Germer has produced an invaluable guide. Written with great clarity, psychological wisdom, and warmth, this book will serve anyone seeking practical and powerful tools that free the heart."--Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance

"Explains both the science and practice of developing kindness toward ourselves and others. Dr. Germer offers powerful and easily accessible steps toward transforming our lives from the inside out. It's never too late to start along this important path."--Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of The Mindful Brain

"An elegant and practical guide to cultivating self-compassion, by a dedicated and wise clinician and meditation teacher. The author offers time-honored practices and exercises with the potential to illuminate and transform the background chatter of our minds that determines so much of the course of our lives."--Samuel Shem, MD, author of The House of God

"In this intelligent, concise, and easy-to-read book, Christopher Germer presents an exciting synthesis of mindfulness and self-compassion that is much needed and long overdue. Drawing upon decades of practice as a clinician and meditator, Dr. Germer offers a rich and insightful guide to emotional healing. While thoroughly covering the relevant psychological research, the book is written for a general audience, and will be of enormous benefit to both therapists and their clients....Germer's narrative voice is warm, gentle, and down-to-earth. His years of meditation practice have clearly paid off in the writing of this book: every word is infused with wisdom and compassion. An invaluable guide to anyone wanting to learn how to transform their relationship with difficult emotions, this important book will undoubtedly change the lives of many who read it."

(British Journal of Psychology 2009-05-01)

"Very well written....filled with practical suggestions and methods....Both the reasoning supporting the importance of the method and the method itself are presented in a clear and compelling fashion. I felt excited, touched, and enriched as I read on, and I am sure most readers will have a similar response....Offers a good integration of Eastern spirituality with Western science to make a compelling argument for the values and effectiveness of mindfulness and compassion meditation. Not only is the argument clear and convincing, but the book also offers plenty of practical aids....Should you read this book? Enthusiastically, yes....An excellent review of the evidence for mindful self-compassion in a psychoeducational manual and a step-by-step guide to developing awareness, self-compassion, and loving kindness."

(PsycCRITIQUES 2009-05-01)

"A very accessible introduction....[Germer] writes in a relaxed style that makes the book easy to read, without skimping on detail....The layout is clear and uncluttered, with a mix of explanation, theory, practice, along with case study examples from Germer's own life and that of his clients. There are useful websites scattered through the book....Mindfulness could well become an important part of my own self-care, which will also feed into my client work. This book is a helpful start and a handy resource."

(Independent Practitioner 2009-05-01) --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Best Consumer Health Books, 2009" - Library Journal

"In this intelligent, concise, and easy-to-read book, Christopher Germer presents an exciting synthesis of mindfulness and self-compassion that is much needed and long overdue. Drawing upon decades of practice as a clinician and meditator, Dr. Germer offers a rich and insightful guide to emotional healing. While thoroughly covering the relevant psychological research, the book is written for a general audience, and will be of enormous benefit to both therapists and their clients....Germer's narrative voice is warm, gentle, and down-to-earth. His years of meditation practice have clearly paid off in the writing of this book: every word is infused with wisdom and compassion. An invaluable guide to anyone wanting to learn how to transform their relationship with difficult emotions, this important book will undoubtedly change the lives of many who read it." -British Journal of Psychology

"Very well written...filled with practical suggestions and methods....Both the reasoning supporting the importance of the method and the method itself are presented in a clear and compelling fashion. I felt excited, touched, and enriched as I read on, and I am sure most readers will have a similar response....Offers a good integration of Eastern spirituality with Western science to make a compelling argument for the values and effectiveness of mindfulness and compassion meditation. Not only is the argument clear and convincing, but the book also offers plenty of practical aids....Should you read this book? Enthusiastically, yes....An excellent review of the evidence for mindful self-compassion in a psychoeducational manual and a step-by-step guide to developing awareness, self-compassion, and loving kindness." -PsycCRITIQUES

"A superb introduction to mindfulness meditation....This brilliant manual demonstrates how by accepting and embracing emotions, one can move to a higher plane of harmony with oneself and others. Interspersed with supporting data from psychology experiments, this book provides practical, life-changing self-help techniques and suggestions for further readings and practice. Highly recommended. (starred review)." -Library Journal

"A very accessible introduction....[Germer] writes in a relaxed style that makes the book easy to read, without skimping on detail....The layout is clear and uncluttered, with a mix of explanation, theory, practice, along with case study examples from Germer''s own life and that of his clients. There are useful websites scattered through the book....Mindfulness could well become an important part of my own self-care, which will also feed into my client work. This book is a helpful start and a handy resource."--Independent Practitioner

(Independent Practitioner )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product details

Paperback: 306 pages
Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (April 29, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781593859756
ISBN-13: 978-1593859756
ASIN: 1593859759
Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 0.5 x 8.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 138 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #7,630 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #17 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Social Work
- #31 in Books > Self-Help > Emotions
- #39 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Emotions

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Charles E Bradley

A Masterpiece on the Subject - Brilliant and Simple with Practice

July 10, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This is by far the "closest thing" I have ever come to ("in my emotional life,") which I truly feel is answering my deepest questions for why I have not been able to overcome my "multi-faceted" anxieties. The approach is entirely new to me and comes from a completely different angle (quite the opposite actually) from my self-critical approach. The heart of this book for me personally has much to do with seeing and feeling (and allowing with softness and kind loving awareness) the suffering I "endured" as a young child. The solution Christopher write about has been for me (for us) to love that hurt little boy and to accept that there were causes -- which in my case had to do with my mother (God bless her) who was in many ways unavailable to me physically and emotionally -- and who was quite opinionated and critical of others. I now see my anger clearly in my body (when it is revisited) and how I am now more able to accept it with a self-loving and compassionate attitude. I highly recommend this book as a tool for many people who suffer from childhood trauma whether it be slight or deep.

Comment 27 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

Yes

L.H.

An Intelligent Look at Mindfulness and Self Compassion

April 25, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Mindfulness seems to be the topic of the day but the mix of this idea with the concept of self compassion captivated me. Mr. Germer writes with intelligence and clarity. A secular approach to mindfulness and self compassion that has great appeal to me personally. As an aside, I picked up the book not only for personal reasons, but because I wanted to import the concept of self compassion into my work as a teacher who frequently delves into creative process. By and large, teenage students are reluctant to try anything they can't do without perfection--this in turn gets in the way of self-expression in the arts. I have already begun to transfer some of the ideas I am learning as I read, into my classroom.

Comment 6 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

Yes

Karoline Fischer

Amazing

May 5, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This book was amazing. It taught me so much, so many things I could apply in my daily life. Links to exercises that I practice now and that changed my life for the better. I have been more compassionate towards myself hence also towards others. It has been an amazing transformation. The experiences of other people that are shared are touching and I connected strongly to them.

Comment 7 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

Yes

Guardian

A heartfelt, educational, and an overall fantastic book!

March 29, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I've learned so much about self-compassion and self-love from this book. It spoke to my pain and fears, and taught me how to love myself more than what I had been doing. Why is it so hard to take care of yourself and love yourself in the same manner that you so easily take care of others? This book helped me look at this differently and changed my perspective on self-kindness. Now it's up to me to put everything into practice and I look forward to doing with the tips and techniques that I learned. I highly recommend this book to anyone needing a heartfelt, educational, and common-sense perspective on self-love and self-compassion!

Comment 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

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Russell Kolts

So good that I keep buying it - because I always end up giving it away.

May 26, 2011

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I won't go into a description of this book, because there are plenty of reviews that do that. What I will say is that as a psychology professor and psychotherapist, I have a few "go-to" books - books that I constantly have to replace because I end up giving them out to students or loaning them to clients. For couples, for example, it's Notarius & Markman's "We Can Work It Out." For people that need to work on mindfulness and learning to relate compassionately with themselves, this excellent book is it. I finally bought it on kindle as well just to have a copy that I could count on being able to get my hands on! Probably my favorite part about this book is the way that it uses mindfulness as a vehicle for the development of self-compassion, such that as readers move through the book, they develop both of these capacities. I can see it not appealing to some - it might be too psychological for those who prefer Thich Nhat Hahn, or not empirical enough for psychology professionals looking for empirically-validated treatment approaches supported by dozens of clinical trials...but for those who want a readable, sensitive path that is rooted in both spirituality and psychology, it is a tremendous resource. Highly recommended.

Comment 81 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

Yes

Thomas Raven

Too much meditation, not enough compassion

May 30, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Based simply on the other reviews, I can see that this book is helpful to some people, but it was no help to me at all. I am not religious or spiritual and meditation is like torture to me because of the constant focus on breath - something that brings up awful memories for me personally. Despite a mention early in this book that meditation of that sort isn't necessary, the author continues to talk about it at every opportunity. If I'd wanted a book on meditation, I'd have purchased one. I was looking for further help in developing my own self compassion. This book simply made me frustrated. The talk of spiritualism was a big turnoff as well.

I have no connection to either author but I found the book "It's Not Your Fault" to be much more helpful for me personally. If you're reading this, I certainly hope you find the help you need in this book or elsewhere. We have an epidemic of adults who started life as mistreated and abused children and many of them are perpetuating their parents' bad behavior. We have to break the cycle and the only way we can do that is to find compassion for ourselves and for one another.

Comment 8 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

Yes

Bjerkana

Simple help through meditation

August 16, 2014

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Having struggled with some very difficult life stresses for a while, they were beginning to get on top of me until a therapist friend recommended this book. For someone already open to meditation, this presents a very simple yet powerful way to cut through the complications of life's big issues and begin to resolve conflicts and get relief. I found this book enabled me to release negative feelings toward people I felt were making life difficult for me and to develop a much more positive relationship with them, leading to reduced stress and more successful interaction. I can't recommend this book strongly enough.

Comment 6 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

Yes

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This is great book for anyone dealing with anxiety. I have read many books in the past about this topic but for some reason this is getting through.

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