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Miscarriage: Women Sharing from the Heart Paperback – January 12, 1993
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From Library Journal
In contrast to the comprehensive psychological, medical, and social services approach presented to parents by Ingrid Kahn and Perry-Lynn Maffit's A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss ( LJ 1/93), this handbook by two bereaved mothers focuses on helping mothers to acknowledge and grieve the death of their unborn child. The authors share their intimate feelings and those of the 100 diverse women whom they interviewed about maternal love, loneliness, confusion, responses of their partners and doctors, and obstacles to grieving. Painfully moving anecdotes in the respondents' own words, combined with informed commentary, make this text a detailed and insightful guide to understanding just what a bereaved mother feels. Recommended.
- Kathryn Hammell Carpenter, Univ. of Illinois, Chicago
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From the Publisher
The authors provide a wealth of supportive empowering information based on extensive research and their own personal experiences with miscarriage. Over 17 million women in America have had miscarriages; this important work will help them to deal with the grief, guilt and denial associated with the loss of their babies. Features the voices of 100 women who have experienced miscarriage and offers excellent insight into the social and psychological ramifications of this tragic end to pregnancy.
Top Customer Reviews
I lost my first pregnancy at 17 weeks after trying to conceive for 2 1/2 years. After the loss I was in a fog of despair I had never come close to experiencing. This book put into words so many of my feelings that I was too lost and raw with pain to even begin to explore. All of the books I had read only dealed with early loss or stillbirth. I felt like my feelings of mourning weren't normal and I felt completely alone--like I was the only person in the world to suffer a second trimester loss.
This book had accounts of women who had lost their babies at the same point in pregnancy I had and those accounts saved me. Also, some people have mentioned that the physical aspects aren't mentioned, but the most important physical aspects for me were talked about. My milk coming in, seeing my body no longer growing with life, etc. were some very physical aspects that no one had discussed with me but were touched on in the book.
Through reading this book I stopped feeling like I was crazy or losing it. I learned to honor my grief and allow myself to mourn the life of my child and the hopes and dreams that were dashed when we lost our baby.
This book also helped me deal with my mother. She kept getting upset when I'd cry. She would call my sisters and say "oh no, she's crying again" as if I was doing something criminal. I gave her the book finally and she read it and hasn't said one thing to me since to make me feel guilt over mourning my child.
Good luck to all of you out there that are so unfortunate to have to buy this book. And a huge thank you to the authors for providing a much needed bible for women dealing with loss.
What I love about this book is that there are no medical facts--this book is about FEELINGS. There are hundreds of interviews with women who lost babies to miscarriage or stillbirth. They share their feelings, how they coped. Even "weird" things they did to help comfort themselves that many women (myself included!) could relate to. I felt less alone after reading this book. It made me realize that many women felt the same way I do after their miscarriages, and that it is ok to grieve. I absolutely LOVE this book and would highly recommend it to anyone who has suffered a miscarriage or knows someone who has.
After reading this book, I decided that rather than getting rid of any `mementos' from my pregnancies (such as ultrasound pictures and journal entries), I wanted to gather them to together and keep them as a concrete reminder of my babies' brief lives. I also decided to name each of my children. I found that acknowledging and honoring their lives has not caused me to dwell more on the losses, but to be able to grieve for them, which I believe is really the first step to `recovering' from the loss. Obviously I will never `recover', but the sadness does decrease over time.
I would recommend this book to any woman who has had a miscarriage, whether recently or years ago. If any of my friends are unfortunate enough to suffer a miscarriage in the future I think that I would bring them this book and a large box of tissues (and maybe a heating pad and something for the cramps too :-) ! )
I also wish that this book was required reading for every OB (or any medical professionals who deals with pregnant women). I was lucky enough to have a wonderful midwife, but I have heard horror stories about treatment from many other women. I think that this book would give them a better perspective on miscarriage from a woman's point of view.
I was also glad to see that this book was not overly religious. So many of the books on miscarriage are incredibly "Christian" - many bible quotes etc. There is a wonderful chapter at the end of the book that definitely deals with spirituality and religion that I appreciated, but it was not the main focus of the book.
The book was also useful in helping my husband understand what it was I was going through. I was too angry, sad and exhausted to be able to explain myself to him and it helped me to be able to simply underline passages and have him read them.
It's important to note that this book deals almost exclusivley with the emotional side of miscarriage. It does not attempt to explain the physical components of loss. It is for that reason that I think it is so valuable. After all, most of us are fine physically after losing a pregnancy. It's the emotional scars that take so long to heal.
Sadly, I have bought four more copies of this to give to friends of mine who have also suffered miscarriages. While I am grateful that this resource exists, I wish so much that none of us needed it.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The book is all examples of the women's journeys and their feelings.Read more