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Models: Attract Women Through Honesty Kindle Edition
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- ASIN : B005EOTH24
- Publication date : July 26, 2011
- Language : English
- File size : 566 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 262 pages
- Lending : Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #15,115 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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"The goal is to create powerful connections with women instead of trying to impress them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and emulating others. Stop ACTING like an attractive man and BECOME an attractive man."
This book is good for everyone, man, women, gay, straight, married, single. It's about communication and bettering yourself and understanding the complexity and dynamics of communication and dating. It's just specifically written for single men, so a single man would benefit the most from it.
My love life has shown SIGNIFICANT positive change right away. Even someone like me, who has had many years of experience in dating, relationships, and such--has benefited greatly because now I UNDERSTAND clearly all the things I've done right and wrong all these years. I understand the principles and fundamentals of why certain things work and others don't.
Most of all, this book is one of the few honest and positive books in the men's dating advice genre. Most of the others are gimmicks and/or full of misogyny. This is just about becoming a better man in life, and thus becoming better in dating because of that.
Thank you Mark Manson, this book should be required reading for all young men. I wish I read this years ago when I was fresh out of high school. But better late than never!
On the back cover, it has a quote saying that this is the only book you'll ever need. I don't totally agree with that. I've read, The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give it to Them, which I also found helpful, especially the chapter about Responsibility. I also felt Ignore and Score was good. My point is, I don't believe this one book will ever be a one stop shop. No book ever is, regardless of the subject, necessarily.
The book goes to deep lengths to talk about NEEDINESS. The scariest word in the dictionary when it comes to dating. You know that feeling where you want to talk to a lady, and the first thought that goes through your mind is, "how do I suppress my awkwardness as to not make it obvious that I'm afraid?" When I want to approach a lady, the thoughts that cross my mind are like the following:
What can I say to her in order to prevent the "he wants me in bed" alarm/alert from going off??
How do I act as convincing as possible that the reason I'm asking for her number is so that we can study, when the truth is I want to take her on a romantic date?
My point is, when I ask for her number, or speak to a woman who I'm interested in, in general, I always have heart pounding fears about her realising how badly I want her, and how much I'm hoping she won't reject me. But, according to the author, if you even so much as FEEL any of those ways, the reason is because you are needy. And essentially, if you're needy, according to the author, there is no effective long term way around it. Unless you CORRECT your neediness, it will be a very substantial problem. And most of the book talks about ways to reduce neediness. It discusses ways to improve you're looks, by going to a gym and buying clothes, by grooming and being clean, and psychological techniques to improve communication skills, and tools to help you stop judging women as being a slut, even thought we sometimes automatically assume it to be the case.
Another part I wanted to point out was where the title suggests attracting women with honesty. The title is very misleading, I feel, because the title makes it seem as if the author is recommending that honesty is a "good path" to take when trying to attract women. However, while reading the book, you will see that Mark Manson has a totally different reason. He states that no matter how hard you try to hide your intentions (being dishonest), it's essentially not possible. He's not asking you to attract women through honesty; he's telling you that you blatantly have no choice. He's basically telling you that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to cover up feeling needy, they will know exactly what you're up to.
And another part about the book that conflicts with a moral taught in The Manual (the other book I read), The Manual speaks of Resistence versus Rejection.It explains how even if it looks like you're being rejected, she may just be resisting, which still leaves the door opened up to future possibilities. With Models, however, Mark Mason strongly suggests that THE MOMENT you see that she's not interested, you should move on ASAP. Although, of course, there's a chapter that talks about "Polarisation," where the author shows you how to DETECT if she's interested, but he still sticks to the same idea; if they are not interested, move ON!
The whole moral of the story of this book is, neediness is your biggest problem, and it must be taken care of no matter WHAT. And, you CANNOT hide neediness. And, if they're not interested, there's no point in changing her mind. Either she likes you, or she don't. Period!
Another point I wanted to point out was about being honest about your attraction, and being needy. He used an example about her phone ringing and getting gag reflex. I can relate to that feeling. Sometimes your boss might call you, and the moment you see the caller ID, you feel like throwing up. So, if that's the feeling some of these girls feel when you try calling them, I can understand the author's prospective on moving on. However, I also feel somewhat skeptical about it too.
Yes there are plenty of times in our lives when we feel awkward, or uncomfortable when the phone rings or we get a text. But I also get that gag reflex when my alarm goes off in the morning, or when I have a presentation to do. There are lots of events in our lives that give us gag reflex. However, according to the famous scientist, Pavlov, we are CONDITIONED to these reactions through learned behaviour. If for example, a girl were to find out that you were actually a much nicer guy then all the others ringing her phone, she would no longer get gag reflex. It's all about psychology; and I don't believe it's always the appropriate thing to move on right away, depends.
Also, I find the author to be somewhat hypocritical, because he states that most women will not find you attractive, and the expectation that they do is only an illusion. However, later in the book he continued to state that he himself had indeed slept with hundreds of women, which I feel is inconsistent with what he said earlier. Either he thinks he's way more attractive than the average reader of his book, or I misinterpreted his meaning when he said "most women" won't find you attractive.
I'm happy I read it, because I wanted to read this book for awhile, but I never came around to doing so until now. I never fully agree with any author 100% in any book I read, so I'm not totally agreeing or disagreeing with everything in this book. After reading this, I feel it was very interesting. There's lots and lots of other very valuable dating lessons and advice in here that overwhelmed me in a positive way. I wanted to re-read it from the beginning in order to highlight all the key points so that I could write a much more thorough review to help readers decide on whether to purchase this, but instead of being a perfectionist, I'll just leave this like it is and move on to new books. The next one I plan to read is, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships. But for the time being, I feel you will enjoy reading Models Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson. You will learn plenty of valuable tips from this book.
I almost forgot to add, there are chapters dedicated to improving your appearance. It specifically stated to go in your closet and throw out everything in the garbage that doesn't fit you. I literally trashed three garbage bags of old, raggy, hand me down trash that's been laying dormant in my closet. I have been trying very hard to improve my attire, and I thank the author for enlightening me with the idea.
Top reviews from other countries
After 1,5 years I decided to give a last chance and try this “Models” that a lot of guys talk about. But I was skeptical because I tought it was too 'soft'.
I was wrong.
After a few pages I knew this was the true answer to what I really needed: become attractive and understand women very well without changing yourself completly. I got much more than that.
Mark Mason doesn’t write simple theories like everybody else. Everything he writes has a lot of cientifical research and his own experience. That is why this is a revolution in seduction knowledge — remember, I had been read dating advice from hundreds of professional "players" every day for 1,5 years, I kept reading because I felt that everything I read was unhealthy theories based on their bad experiences and beliefs about women, only to find out what I already suspected deep down: they are all f*ck*d up in their heads.
My advice to every guy who wants to become attractive and learn how to be good with the ladies: buy this book and read it several times. You'll never need to read anything more ever again. Get rid of all Red Pill stuff you have. This is the complete guide, gives you the true attractiveness and seductive knowledge without any "fake it until you make it" or tricks and tactics. No more boy games, this is for real men who have courage to be honest and straight foward.
And the most important thing: you won't be a mentally ill women-hater.
You will learn to trully admire and understand women for what they are instead of seeing them as labeled objects who are meant to be exploited.
Remember guys, women are a very important part of our lives, so it is important learn this right.
I am very lucky to have this precious knowledge.
Thank you Mark for all the effort!
However, buying a book to learn how to become better with women is also needy. Mark Manson is advocating a radical change to your way of life in order to get with women, although like all PUA coaches, he claims that his program of change is different, because it involves more noble concepts like honesty and vulnerability. But the question remains to me: what's wrong with me now? There is a cruelty in all such books in that they imply that men aren't good enough as they are and that they need to become incredibly psychologically literate and aware of their every last thought and action in order to attract women. It isn't true. Men have been attracting women just by being born men for millenia.
Let's look at Mark Manson's description of Jeff, his example of a non-needy man:
"Jeff has been successful with women for his entire life and has a very low level of investment with them until he's gotten to know them well. Jeff enjoys going out with his friends and pays no attention to whether the women around him approve of him or not. At times, he says something weird or gets rejected but it doesn't bother him. But other times, girls become quite attracted to Jeff. When Jeff notices, if he finds them attractive, he'll take their number and ask them out..."
I don't find this realistic as an ideal, or necessarily desirable. While I completely accept that neediness is the greatest turn-off for women (as Manson puts it, "to a woman, a man with a lot of neediness is like having the worst breath and lots of missing teeth"), Jeff sounds like he couldn't care less whether he has a woman in his life or not. While it's bad to be needy, for most men the companionship of a woman is felt as a need, something that can make a real difference in life and the absence of which can be painful. There are also natural biological desires that we have and can't switch off even if we might sometimes want to. It doesn't sound like Jeff has any of these problems. Surely women want a man who feels a strong desire to be with them. How can a man who feels real desire for a woman "pay no attention to whether the woman around approve of him or not"? This isn't realistic for anyone. No one pays no attention to whether others approve, in fact it would be foolish to do so, as others can give us feedback on ourselves from angles we wouldn't have seen.
Also, as with all PUA books, there is an implication that no factors matter in attractiveness other than those that you can change through training and greater psychological awareness. Your looks, your height, your physique, crucially of course your bank balance, your career and social circle. Manson speaks as if Jeff is only attractive to women because he isn't needy, as if none of these other factors matter, as if an ugly man or a handsome man, a poor man or a rich man, could train themselves in this non-neediness and see equal results. This rather erases a man's individual attributes. We know nothing about this Jeff character and why women might be attracted to him. Presumably he has some attractive traits that he was born with, other than not being needy. Surely some men aren't attractive to women for reasons other than neediness. When speaking of women finding neediness as unattractive as missing teeth and bad breath, he doesn't really emphasise the fact that woman are also turned off by missing teeth and bad breath. In fact the reality is that there is nothing about a man that women don't take into account when considering his attractiveness. Non-neediness may be the top unattractive quality that you're able to do something about, but she may find you unattractive for others reasons that you couldn't have predicted. That's how it is with women. You can never fully pin down how they will react to you or why. That's where books like this will always fall down.
But then I realized that by improving myself I could have achieved more, and find what I was actually looking for. I started reading self-improvement books, workout 3-4 times a week and be more social. I started working on myself, rather than showing neediness and pleasing others.
You know it is time to leave, when your gut and instincts tell you so. Get out, work on your goals, and on that path of self improvement you will find what you are looking for. It is just a matter of time.
Models - Attract Women Through Honesty
Best book on dating in a modern world. Just beware of the last part about sex...
After a long-term relationship I wanted to understand more about the world of relationships, love and sex from the perspective of a modern men who likes to be seen as a feminist believing in equality with a "taste" for career-seeking, intelligent women.
Unfortunately, if you look for literature and articles about the topic from the perspective of men, you usually find the typical "bro" and "pickup literature" that tells you "how to get the girl" and "seduce her".
Luckily, I found Mark Manson's blog and his great article "F*** yes or no". During reading, I saw that Manson had also written a book about dating, so I bought it. This was the perfect read after I have read and liked "No More Mr. Nice Guy" from Robert A. Glover.
# Idea of the Book
If I summarize the suggestions of the book in 4 steps, I would do it like this:
* find out where you are good at
* find out what you like (in women)
* Polarization: talk about it openly and honestly.
* if you find out that the woman you're are talking and you are not matching on these topics, then stop. Otherwise, move
# Run through the Book
In the beginning, Manson talks about Female Attraction and why it is not as easy as most of the pickup guides explain. As the consultant says: "It depends".
He explains why True Confidence is the key to attract women. For him, this means "being less invested in other's people's perceptions of you than in your perceptions of yourself".
Hence, his main message is to invest in yourself and hence become more confident. This relates to the term "intrinsic motivation". Instead of having more dates, more sex - seek for better relationships, overall happiness. Don't date to impress your friends... Learn to say no to woman and sex if you are not convinced.
In Chapter 3 and 4, Manson talks about honesty, openness and vulnerability. This is something that actually came very natural to me in my dating experience. Yes, it can be complicated sometimes because you have to deal with the consequences and emotions of your opinions, but less complicated then lying and keeping a lie active over long times. The main question here is:
* Can you laugh about yourself?
* Do you know where you are good at and where you need to improve?
This is how you achieve true confidence and from this he summarizes: It is not about the WHAT you are saying, but about the WHY.
For example if you give compliments because you want to seduce a woman it is not the same as if you say it unconditionally because you think it is true...
And the consequence of this is that you need to set your own boundaries and stick to them. Set your rules and communicate them.
Chapter 5 and Chapter 6 are devoted to Polarization, Rejection and Success. It is important to quickly find out if you and a woman match without losing too much time. There is no man in the whole universe that is able to attract all women, so try to find the ones that are.
Manson explains the signs to see if a woman is reacting to you. And he explains his concept of "F*** yes or no" and to quickly find out whether they are or can be enthusiastic about you. Don't try to impress every woman and try that they like you all.
This leads to be controversial and hence get used to live with rejections.
Success for Manson = Maximining happiness with whichever woman/women we prefer. It is not about counting how many women you have or how attractive the women are.
Chapter 7 deals with the 3 fundamentals to reach True Confidence. To quote Manson:"
1. Creating an attractive lifestyle
2. Overcoming your fears and anxiety around women
3. Mastering the expression of your emotions and communicating fluidly"
or shortly: Honest Living, honest Action, honest Communication
Chapter 8 and 9 are about Honest Living. Manson talks about Demographics and good ways and events to meet interesting women, for example dance or yoga classes. He explains the theory of Social Proof and why you stop rating women on scales.
He is going into more details about how to improve your style with fashion, fitness and working on your body language. Overall, you should be "a fascinating person" with taste.
Chapter 10 and 11 are about Honest Action. It is first about the anxiety to speak to (unknown) women. He explains the patterns that we have to prevent us from talking and that the best effort is to observe yourself (like a meditator) doing this.
He is also talking about masturbation and why you should stop this since it breaks your sexual motivation with real women.
He suggests a simple strategy by slightly getting used to talk to women, first asking for the time, asking about the day until you can tell them that they are attractive and you want to go on a date with them.
Chapter 12-15 deal with Honest Communication. He talks about creepiness, creating sexual tension and about emotional connections.
He goes further with putting emphasis on the first impression, communication skills, how to tell a good story and Humor.
This chapter is more about techniques, for example rules of dating and how to deal with phone numbers properly. At the end, he explains how to get to the first physical contact in a friendly, comfortable manner, leading to kissing and sex. He suggests, in doubt, to be pushy and move forward.
He finishes with a nice blog post from a woman on blog post about what she would like men to do in bed...
At the end of the book is a little step by step guide for improving yourself.
In short, I am really happy with the book. Yes, some of the things are pretty obvious to me (fashion, fitness, making the moves when you know each other) but I guess this is just because I feel comfortable in those areas while other men might feel uncomfortable there.
All in all the book gives a great overview of the areas to think and improve and helps to reflect on a lot of things. It is definitely not a fast read with simple instructions and easy solutions, but rather an approach to change yourself step by step and the areas you should focus on.
I like that the book doesn't go too much into stereotypes of men and women and treats every person as different and special.
My main criticism is about the area of sex: yes, a lot of women still like the guy to be dominant and pushing. However, as we know, also guys can be submissive and women can be dominant. Hence, this is not the book when you look into alternative types of sexual play (think BDSM). Also, the book recommends to push until she says no. For me, this is something I hate as an advice, especially if you don't know each other well. I rather suggest a careful, talkative approach with affirmative questions to achieve a "yes means yes" type. Can seem a bit slow, but if you and the woman master this together, the sex will be awesome and fun for both of you with your desires met.
Later, when you know each other better, you can talk about hidden desires and potentially become more pushy/dominant if both agree (in a safe space).
Nevertheless, this is one of the best books out there for the modern, feminist man to read about women and dating. Compared to other pickup and stereotype literature, this one wins by far. So I still give it 5 stars.