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Models: Attract Women Through Honesty Paperback – July 28, 2011
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Firstly about the Author:
The book was written by Mark Manson. From what I gather, he's a traveler and has helped men around the globe with psychological, sexual and 'connection' issues with women. He owns and runs the website [...] and has a few products there.
The underlying theme I personally felt was about "investing in yourself" and being 'honest'. Having read a few PUA books, I felt this was its strong point. The book goes through a few parts, I may need to put a disclaimer here but this is how I felt about the book:
1. You are first introduced to the author and go through a few stories. One did hit the nail on the head with me. Mark then goes through different types of men and women.
2. You are then introduced to the theme of 'investing in yourself' - by investing in yourself, you reduce your 'neediness' and hence in turn become more 'attractive'. The principle is by actually having a voice, being who you want to be - you will actually find women who you want to be around, and more importantly you will most likely stand out around the crowd.
3. Mark then goes through his 3 key principles to achieve this: Honest Living, Honest Action and Honest Communication. By living who YOU want to be, by doing things that express who YOU are and by communicating YOUR honest thoughts - you will in turn become 'attractive'.
The parts that resonated with me:
1. Don't fear rejection
2. The more people you meet in life (through rejection) can only lead to meeting more people that you want to actually be with.
3. 'Demographics' - go to places where you will most likely find people you want to be with.
4. Express who you are and be proud of it.
5. Know your intentions - go out with those intentions.
6. You don't need openers. Just be yourself - 'My name is ______' works just fine.
7. Polarize people as soon as you can (shift them from attracted / not attracted )
There are other gems in the book I'm sure. After filtering in through all the reviews and comments I felt that I needed to write this review for those who are on the fence.
What to EXPECT:
1. A 'guide' to approaching women through honesty
2. A way to meet people you will most likely enjoy to be with in the future.
3. Build some confidence - get out there boy ;)
4. I want to state number 1 again: honesty is the key theme here.
5. Arguably a 'long term solution' & Arguably a more mature one?
What NOT to EXPECT:
1. This is not holy grail of knowledge, some of it is obvious. Hence why some reviews stated they knew most of this stuff. If you are living a great life (job etc), you are clear in your opinions and intentions, and you can communicate well don't bother with this book. You already got it =)
2. You won't get pick up lines, theories or openers.
3. You will not learn how to become the ultimate player - if that is your intention - there are great PUA options out there.
4. You will not attract ALL women - you will increase your chances to attract women that are more likely to be attracted in the 'real' you.
5. Numbers game. He hates it - so if you want to sleep with lots and lots of women and already doing so - read something else. Like I said - plenty of PUA books that tackle that.
Why is it NOT 5 stars?
1. You will note reviews on Amazon are very directed to how Mark has 'an agenda' in this book. I felt this agenda was that he is a bit 'against' Pick Up Artists (who don't use honesty - through tricks and things that clearly aren't who they are). Many times he will reflect on how PUAs don't use honesty and hence you won't find people for the long term. He did however state this in the book description. I don't like it when an author needs to constantly validate his method against PUAs. Just once is fine, not consistently. I also respect some PUAs I know and they are as direct as they can be - they aren't all about tricks.
2. My grammar is bad - but I am very certain this book was not proof read. It's messy and a bit over the place in terms of actual text. If you read the book, you will understand I am very strict to this sense only because he reads quite a bit of literature - he should also appreciate that paying readers expect a book that has been proof read.
3. It was not concise, when at many times it could have been. Again - I pitch this as a problem since he teaches us to be concise.
I personally liked the book - would of given it 3.5/5 (I'm going to round up here). I think its down to earth and very personal. You will see swear words, you will read Mark's stories, and you will find a gem that reminds you that you are unique. In a nutshell - it's a lifestyle book. I'm confident after reading this book I will not attract all the women in the world. I will however, find (possibly sleep with) more women that I personally want to be with. This is my personal goal though, and I prefer it this way.
Hope this helps.
The only thing I didn't like was the author's advice on clothing style. Some of the styles he thinks look good are what I consider Eurofag skinny or Canadian metrosexual. I am a bigger guy, broad shoulders, rugged and ruddy. The things this author thinks are good style would look ridiculous on me. He makes a good point in stating that a man's clothes should fit properly. But they should also properly fit his personality, lifestyle and the activity he is engaged in at a particular moment. And, a man should wear clothes of high quality that flatter his physique without betraying an obvious intent to do so.
Good book. Pricy at $9.99 for the Kindle, but worth the money, especially for a young man just starting out.
Whether you succeed with dating many women, or sit at home meeting your right hand and your computer day in day out, no one else is held accountable for any of it except you.
As mark even states in the book, it's very liberating knowing it's all on you cause it gives you that empowering sense of "there is something I can do about this! And if this opportunity is missed cause you didn't at least try, well it's my fault. And if I happen to succeed, it's also my fault" (or my doing rather.)
The section of the book I really liked and woke me up was the section about "avoidance" and reasons why most guys avoid taking action, one of which I am shamefully guilty of, intellectualising. The sense of wanting to "research" into something more and more to be safe before I take action and before I know it I'm in a endless cycle of learning which:
1. Wastes ALOT time and misses opportunities and
2. Puts more pressure on me to succeed due to too much knowledge vs. Experiences.
Now I've made it a strong habit to apply a 80/20 rule which I learnt from somewhere (forgot where).
80% taking action (perhaps I've learnt it once, that's enough. Even then, just 'shoot first ask later')
20% learning (mistakes I discovered during the 80%, and learning a little more for when I take action again.)
This I think is a good rule of thumb for a lot of things in life, so let's see how that goes. Thanks Mark again for this book, will definitely re-read but slower paced and during the 20% phase this time ;)
I know this review seemed more general as opposed to success with women, though this book is strongly focused on women I found it very applicable to a whole ton of areas in life (don't get me wrong I still go out here and there to meet attractive women), because after all....no matter what it is you want to do, who you're trying to become, that can all change, but there is only one constant...You.