- Hardcover: 224 pages
- Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers (October 17, 2016)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1442253215
- ISBN-13: 978-1442253216
- Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 0.8 x 9.4 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #535,538 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Modern Sexuality: The Truth about Sex and Relationships
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Sex therapist and clinical psychologist Aaron provides 'a complete, scientific perspective on what we currently know in the field of sexology' for the nonspecialist, with an emphasis on concrete advice for readers distressed about their own sexual desires and behaviors. The book’s first section describes pervasive social narratives about human sexuality, walking the reader through research that challenges many assumptions. The second section helps readers reject sexual shame and cultivate authentic sexual selves. Throughout, composite case studies drawn from the author’s clinical practice illustrate the damage caused by both sexual shame and social marginalization, as well as the possibility for healing....This title will appeal most to individuals or couples struggling with some aspect of their sexuality, particularly those open to reassurance that they are normal even if not normative: many of the assumptions that Americans make about human sexuality are not supported by current research. (Publishers Weekly)
Well, today is a new day. Life is short and NYC-based sex therapist Dr. Michael Aaron has written a new book, Modern Sexuality: The Truth About Sex and Relationships, out this month, to debunk the many myths surrounding human sexuality and kinky sex. In addition to being provocative and funny, the book is backed by the most recent sex science. Below, we run through its five most interesting revelations. Overall, Modern Sexuality encourages us to embrace a more sex-positive (and self-accepting) mindset to overcome social programming. The biggest takeaway? Your kinks are absolutely normal. (Playboy)
Dr. Michael Aaron has written an astonishingly good book that instructs, entertains and educates, all in equal measures. The breadth of knowledge concerning human sexuality, both from a historical, political and clinical perspective, is fascinating and bound to help the reader understand what makes us all tick when it comes to turn-ons, turn-offs and just plain lust. (Christine Milrod, PhD, LMFT, AASECT-CST, Licensed Psychotherapist, Sexologist, and Certified Sex Therapist)
Michael Aaron is one of the new, modern warriors against the forces of sexual suppression. In Modern Sexuality, Aaron systematically dismantles the many sexual myths and outright lies which plague our society and lead to so much needless suffering and angst. He brings a powerful new voice to this social dialogue, helping to free people from the shackles of sexual shame. (David J. Ley, PhD. Author of the forthcoming Ethical Porn For Dicks, A Man's Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure)
Michael Aaron is a warrior-king of non pathologizing sexuality and Modern Sexuality is his battle-cry against all those who see fit to stigmatize natural sexual deviation as deviance. Aaron uses science to take aim against ignorance and clinical insight to deliver the blow, and I am grateful he's on the front lines of the battle for sexual freedom. (Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, sex therapist and NY Times best-selling author of She Comes First)
Modern Sexuality is a promise fulfilled: that Dr. Michael Aaron can talk anywhere from lecture halls to city streets, and to anyone from seasoned professionals to inquisitive youth, and have his message understood. Michael’s at once incisive and street-smart voice rings clearly and sanely through the noisy canyon of modern sensationalistic sexual chatter. This unparalleled book will be a lasting and significant contribution to sexological and sociological literature. (David M. Ortmann, LCSW psychotherapist, sex therapist, and co-author of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities)
Anyone who has ever heard their sexuality described as broken, disgusting, or 'sick' will find Modern Sexuality to be a lifesaver--perhaps literally. Aaron cuts through the fog of stigma with his punk rock, no-nonsense brand of sex positivity and makes a compelling, compassionate case for why non-normative sexualities are healthy, natural, and great. When I was younger and struggling to suppress an identity the world told me I wasn't 'supposed' to have, Modern Sexuality would have been like oxygen. I am so grateful that future generations of sexual minorities will have this book, and a champion like Aaron, to fight for us. Read it! (Jillian Keenan, author of Sex with Shakespeare)
A spirited romp through the biology, psychology, and sociology of sex – with an important message for our time. Drawing on a wide variety of sources, Michael Aaron explains why we humans are so darned sexually diverse, why societies condemn all but a narrow slice of this diversity, and how individuals and couples can break free of sexual shame to celebrate their authentic erotic selves. (Stephen Snyder, MD, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Icahn School of Medicine at Mt Sinai)
Modern Sexuality approaches questions of human sexuality with an eye to the bigger picture of basic human needs and the needs of society, with an up close focus on the struggles of individuals and couples. This book is a great introduction to the current and cutting edge approaches to human sexuality that is personal, approachable, and relevant to therapeutic work, whether that is healing from past experiences or exploring your personal growth. (Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D., executive director of CARAS (Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities); co-author, Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities)
Brimming wit and scintillating stories, Michael Aaron’s fascinating new book, Modern Sexuality, offers the social context, empirical facts, and practical knowledge of sexual diversity to provide readers both a deep understanding of sexual diversity and the tools to navigate their own sexual identities. Using poignant and interesting vignettes from his sex therapy practice and his own extensive study of sexuality, Aaron provides information key to understanding the flood of sexual (mis)information and images that surround us every day. Refreshingly witty and factual without being dry, Aaron clearly has no agenda except for people to accept themselves and express their sexualities in healthy and consensual ways – he could care less if his readers are gay, bi, trans, cis, straight, vanilla, or as kinky as a cheap garden hose. Aaron just wants them to be happy and informed, and Through the Keyhole offers readers insight and guidance for their journeys to sexual freedom and authenticity. (Elisabeth Sheff, PhD, CSE, CASA, expert witness and relationship coach specializing in consensual non-monogamies and BDSM/kink; author of The Polyamorists Next Door (2014), Stories from the Polycule (2015), and When Someone You Love is Polyamorous (2016))
Michael Aaron takes us into the 21st century on sexuality in Modern Sexuality. He is a new and important voice in dismantling what we thought was true about sex and guiding us into the new truths and norms of sexual possibilities. Both individuals and couples of all sexual orientations will benefit from this smart and sensible book. (Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor of Sex Therapy; author of Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi: A Guide for Women Concerned About Their Men)
This book is a grand tour of the nature of our sexual being, exploring the ways in which society and commercialization influences how we express ourselves sexually. If you want to get a thorough grounding in the real costs that people pay because sexual behavior is stigmatized, this is the book for you. You’ll also get insights, exercises and useful techniques on how to help break free and reclaim your own sexual authenticity. (Susan Wright, founder and director of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF))
In recent years, we have seen a healthy increase in ‘how to’ manuals for people who want to expand their sexuality – through tantra, through kink, through opening up a relationship, through stepping outside their sexual boundaries. The problem is, most people are too full of sexual shame to even know what they want or how to explore their hidden selves. Dr. Aaron has written the book people need to read BEFORE they get the manual. Anyone who wants to expand their sexuality in any way can benefit from this book.
Dr. Aaron has an impressive command of the literature, both research and clinical. In other words – he knows what he’s talking about. But his writing is imminently accessible to the intelligent layperson. Modern Sexuality is absorbing and fast paced. Not only does Aaron give us up to date information about sexuality, he explain the origins and impact of sexual shame, and he has a many helpful exercises for the reader. . He draws from many cutting edge approaches, from Somatic Experiencing to ACT, to guide the reader through self-exploration, healing, and the gradual expansion of their sexual boundaries. (Margie Nichols, Ph.D., Phd, psychologist and sex therapist; founder and director of the Institute for Personal Growth, New Jersey; founder and first director of the Hyacinth Foundation; author, speaker, and activist on LGBTQ issues; contributor, Principles and Practices of Sex Therapy and Handbook of Systemic Sex Therapy)
About the Author
Michael Aaron, PhD, LCSW, CST, is a nationally certified sex therapist and clinical sexologist, specializing in working with sexual minorities, alternative/kink/polyamory lifestyles, sex workers, discordant desire and infidelity in couples, sexual dysfunction and anxiety, gender and orientation confusion, and sexual compulsivity. He is certified as a Sex Therapist by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology. He has been interviewed in numerous media outlets, online podcasts, and magazines, including the New York Times, Wall St Journal, Cosmopolitan,Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Prevention, and Vice.com. He is a member of the Advisory Board of Men’s Fitness Magazine. His website is www.drmichaelaaronnyc.com
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Top Customer Reviews
Compared with many sex therapists who do not clearly celebrate orgasms and sex in general, Dr. Aaron is front and center with is lazar focus on pleasure. He utilizes history, psychology and sociology to conclude some really interesting stuff about sex. He is clear and factual about kinky sex (BDSM), as well as non-monogamy and other sexual variations. He rightly emphasizes the important of genetics and how this focus interacts with socialization and culture. He dispels many myths, one of which is that there is no such animal as sex and porn addiction. He is critical of sexual shaming, and rightly so. Highly recommended!
The second half of his book serves as an excellent guide for people wanting to attain greater sexual fulfillment. Utilizing current evidence-based therapies, Dr. Aaron describes various cognitive, somatic, and behavioral exercises to try. This book is especially important for people wishing to incorporate kink or BDSM into their sexual repertoire. Dr. Aaron highlights the importance first and foremost of accessing our emotions including our anxiety ("leaning" into your ambivalence), of communicating honestly, and of cultivating mindful awareness - all necessities for great sex and for living well.
An enjoyable and inspirational read!
Broken into two distinct works, Section I, explores the historical relationship between cultural and cultural mythologies, social policy, and psychological assumptions that have crated and mutually reinforced a limited narrative that casts sexual and erotic practices as either “good and healthy” or “bad and pathological.” Moving past these reductionist positions, Aaron provides his readers with access to current data and information, not commonly discussed beyond the field of sex therapy and sexology, offering his audience an opportunity to explore and deconstruct the roots of their own fear and discomfort with sex, sexuality and eroticism.
In Section II, Aaron invites his audience to begin exploring how sexual misinformation and fear of difference undermines and limits sexual and erotic development. While sensitive to the impact that shame plays in challenging the status quo, Aaron, nonetheless, encourages the reader to consider the benefits of creating a personalized erotic roadmap to sexual self-awareness. An important theme throughout this book, and particularly relevant to the second section of Modern Sexuality, is the recognition that intimacy and trust in relationships, pair bonded monogamy or multi-partnered polyamory, requires an honest appraisal and appreciation of the sexual and erotic self with others. In essence, the more comfortable and compassionate we are to our own sexual and erotic longings, desires, and needs, the more present, accepting, and non-judgmental we are of the sexual diversity and experiences of others.
Whether a sexuality therapist, student of sexology, or simply curious about the possibility of exploring and improving your own erotic and sexual potential; Modern Sexuality: The Truth About Sex and Relationships is a new “must read” to helping yourself and others discover deeper sexual truths and possibilities for themselves and their relationships.