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Mom, I Hate My Life!: Becoming Your Daughter's Ally Through the Emotional Ups and Downs of Adolescence (A Hand-in-Hand Book) by [Hersh, Sharon]
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Mom, I Hate My Life!: Becoming Your Daughter's Ally Through the Emotional Ups and Downs of Adolescence (A Hand-in-Hand Book) Kindle Edition

4.7 out of 5 stars 19 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Being a teenage girl is more frightening than ever, says Hersh, a professional counselor and frequent speaker on adolescence. But mothers can be their daughters’ allies through this perilous time, helping girls navigate their confusion about body image, sexual awakening and emotional upheaval. In fact, Hersh believes that girls’ turmoil should be viewed as a golden opportunity to begin practicing involved "hand-in-hand mothering." Peppered with examples from her counseling practice and her own experiences as a mother to a teenage girl, Hersh’s book urges sensible compassion as mothers and daughters become companions on a mutual journey. She gives concrete and specific examples of how mothers can appropriately respond to their daughters’ pain and help them understand their feelings. Throughout, Hersh also offers a central Christian message that God’s love should be the foundation of girls’ and mothers’ identities.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“Peppered with examples from her counseling practice and her own experiences as a mother to a teenage girl, Hersh’s book urges sensible compassion as mothers and daughters become companions on a mutual journey. She gives concrete and specific examples of how mothers can appropriately respond to their daughters’ pain and help them understand their feelings. Throughout, Hersh also offers a central Christian message that God’s love should be the foundation of girls’ and mothers’ identities.”
Publishers Weekly

“No one is more precious and disturbing to us than our children. There is no subject we are more desperate and fearful to enter than parenting. And there is no better book than ‘Mom, I Hate My Life!’ to honestly and hopefully guide you to hope. We all know our children face realities we could never have imagined and we rightfully need a wise, kind, and generous guide. Sharon Hersh lives and writes with brilliance, wisdom, and winsome wit. This book will allow you to encounter the rapids of your daughter’s adolescence with greater confidence and joy.”
–Dan Allender, author of How Children Raise Parents

“The two greatest complaints I hear from teens about their parents are these: ‘They don’t listen and they don’t understand.’ Sadly, those complaints are usually warranted. Sharon Hersh has once again done moms and daughters a great favor by providing a depth of understanding that can close the cultural/generational gap. No doubt, our girls are in crisis.
‘Mom, I Hate My Life!’ is a compelling cry that can help undo the crisis by challenging and equipping moms to meet their daughters’ deepest needs in the best way possible. But this isn’t just a book for moms. Dads, youth workers, and anyone else working with young girls will have their eyes opened to the painful realities of growing up female in today’s world.”
–Walt Mueller, founder and president of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding and author of Understanding Today’s Youth Culture

“In an age where teens themselves struggle to put words to their own kaleidoscope of confusing emotions, this is a wonderful book for teen girls, parents, and counselors alike. I highly recommend it–it can save lives.”
–Christian Hill, parent and counselor, Alpine Connection Counseling

“Want to rebuild, restore, and refresh your relationship with your daughter? Countless moms and daughters will be blessed by this carefully crafted book. Sharon Hersh speaks hope into the mom-daughter relationship. You can have a trusting, rich relationship with your daughter–this book will show you how!”
–Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., author of Moving Beyond Depression and Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders

Product Details

  • File Size: 476 KB
  • Print Length: 240 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook; 1 edition (December 1, 2010)
  • Publication Date: December 1, 2010
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003FCVG0I
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #987,371 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Shari Meserve on August 19, 2004
Format: Paperback
We're all guilty of failing our daughters at points - what I loved about Sharon Hersh's book, is that she encourages us not to sit in self-condemnation or to jump to condemning our daughters, but to mother from a better place. Hersh's book acts as a guide, walking before us, as we seek to walk alongside our daughters. Instead of fearing, we can look forward to what we both can attain together. It is a gracious approach to parenting that left me with the desire to love my girls with a hopeful heart. And her practical suggestions for thought and discussion are most welcome. We even took the book on a mother-daughter road trip, and had dear talks that I believe will be rattling around in their brains for awhile. Thank you Ms. Hersh for giving your heart to the mother-daughter relationship.
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Format: Paperback
Full disclosure: this book has come along at exactly the time I needed it (I have two daughters, and the older one is on the cusp of adolescence), and I can't help being grateful. If this clouds my objectivity as a reviewer, I'll admit it; I'd rather be a bad book review writer than a bad parent.
MOM, I HATE MY LIFE! by Sharon Hersh gives mothers of adolescent daughters the tools with which to shape their own particular parent-child relationship. While Hersh does not stray from the spiritual path, neither does she hammer it home to her readers. She realizes that most will already be Christians who recognize that we must render unto our children their worldly due and that sometimes that worldliness will conflict with our own deeply held convictions.
Never you mind, says Hersh, because first of all, God is in control whether we remember to acknowledge that or not. Second, a mother's heart is strong enough to contain mistakes and heartaches along with triumphs and progress, even if we never saw those coming: "Of course, we couldn't imagine when our daughters were cute baby girls that one day they would stonily stare us in the face and announce, 'I hate my life,'" Hersh writes in her introduction, titled "A Haven in the Storm."
She continues, "As mothers, we can become our daughters' greatest allies in the midst of the inevitable and sometimes scary emotional turmoil of growing up female. What I call hand-in-hand mothering begins with the conviction that as we stretch to meet our daughters' needs --- learning in the midst of not knowing, and giving even when we don't feel like we have anything to give --- we can experience personal transformation and guide our daughters toward emotional maturity.
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Format: Paperback
As a registered dietitian, I loved and continue to promote author, Sharon Hersh's book, "Mom, I Feel Fat" to mother's of teen girls who I work with. I could not put her new book down and reflected on the Moms I knew who needed to get a copy of this book. It is written in "real" language and Sharon bravely shares her stories between her and her own daughter, showing the reader a Mom who is real and has walked the talk. I especially liked Sharon's introduction in which she said that problems that may be faced with your daughter are not the end of the story but the beginning of a great adventure. Moms are encouraged throughout the book to believe in their daughter's "becoming" and are given workable ways to model positive behavior to their daughter and ultimately connect with their daughter no matter what the situation. Each chapter has a section for the reader to reflect and journal called 'Just for You' and another area for both mom and daughter to begin a conversation with 'Just for the two of you'. Sharon is not afraid to tackle the tough topics of eating disorders, cutting and self-injury, and depression, all issues that every Mom could face and may be living as she reads this book. For anyone working with adolescent girls or for the Mom who needs inspiration and tools to survive adolescence with her teen daughter, MOM, I HATE MY LIFE! will help prevent the " the loss of the daughter to the mother, the mother to the daughter, (which) is the essential female tragedy" as quoted by Adrienne Rich in Chapter 4.
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Format: Paperback
Author Sharon Hersh speaks to a mother's heart, from a mother's heart, and offers the wisdom we long for in a culture of so many unanswered questions about how to best love our daughters. The years of raising adolescents seem to so often trigger our own unresolved issues that it feels like the blind leading the blind. Hersh offers us the foresight, clarity and sensitivity to connect richly with our teen girls. Relevant and yet timeless, this book needs to get into the hands of every mother and mother-to-be of adolescent daughters!
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Format: Paperback
I loved this book. I have read practically every book that has been written on parenting teenaged daughters and this one is far and away the best. It is hopeful, helpful and realistic. I buy it for all of my friends with teenaged daughters.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'm a clinical mental health therapist who works with teens, and I have bought many copies of this book on Amazon to loan and give away to patients' families. This is easily one of my all-time favorite books for parents of teen girls, right up there with the works of Mary Piper. I've found that this is one of the more sensible and helpful books I've used with families, and some of my teen patients ask to read it (so they can keep tabs on what I'm asking their moms to read, maybe?). Anyway, my teen patients agree that this book is dead-on in its descriptions of depression, body image feelings, and conflicted mother-daughter relationships. The chapter on cutting and self-injury is particularly well-done.

I deducted one star because of the book's title: "MOM, I hate my life." Dads are barely mentioned, and this book presents this material as if it is ONLY relevant to a mother's understanding of a daughter. Ever notice how often books, articles, TV commercials, etc. simply assume that only MOTHERS are connected to their kids? As a male therapist and father of two, there is not one thing in this book that isn't equally applicable to an involved and struggling father. But a lot of great information is politely declined by the fathers I work with, simply because of the off-putting title. Unfortunately, Sharon Hersh's entire "line" of books use the "Mom..." titling gimmick, and the only prominent book for Dads and daughters (literally, "Dads and Daughters") is geared toward fathers of pre-teen girls.

Consider this a plea for better publications that offer clinically-valid tips for fathers AND mothers of teen girls.
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