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Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting Paperback – September 5, 2006

4.6 out of 5 stars 36 customer reviews

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Parenting in a complicated world
Strategies to help you be the best parent you can be. See more
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When a lawyer in California tries to ban the sale of Oreos to minors, Paula Spencer comes to the rescue, showing how good old common sense trumps the "parenting experts" any day. The author and mother of four, who writes the "Momfidence" column in Woman's Day magazine, dispenses what she's learned on the job in an upbeat, funny and practical way: "There is no right or wrong way to do most of the business of parenting. There is, however, almost always a more expedient one." Debunking parenting overkill, Spencer provides helpful reality checks ("Every firstborn is a guinea pig") and reassuring tales of her own moments of doubt, poking fun along the way at health trends, safety angst and the overwhelming number of childhood experts ready to make your parenting decisions for you: "No matter how many tax dollars are being spent ... on researchers dissecting the minds, bodies and stomachs of our kids, raising a child will always be an art form, not a science." For Spencer, parenting is about mothers doing what works for them, losing their guilt and having confidence in their choices-whether that means bedtime at 8:00 p.m. sharp, drugging your kids with TV, or choosing to feed your picky child "whatever he will eat."
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"A breath of fresh, calming air. Spencer's experience has made her a true childrearing expert with a keen new insight: We're making the job harder than it has to be." —Linda Murray, Editor-in-Chief, Babycenter.com

“Paula Spencer has written the ultimate insider’s guide to life on Planet Mom–a book that is guaranteed to boost your ‘momfidence’ by the day. If you’re convinced that you’ve blown your nomination for Mother of the Year because your six year old has been wearing mismatched socks to school all week; your ten year old keeps sneaking contraband snack foods to school in his lunch bag; and the clutter in your house is breeding faster than the items on your ‘to do’ list, take note: Momfidence is your book.” —Ann Douglas, author, The Mother of All Pregnancy Books and The Mother of All Parenting Books

 “Finally! A mom who parents from her gut, not her guilt! Paula Spencer dares to trust her instincts and her common sense, while humorously inspiring readers to do the same. Advice as sensible as it is entertaining.” —John Rosemond, syndicated parenting columnist and author

“Being informed is one thing. Being overwhelmed is another. Written with warmth, humor and real-world wisdom, Momfidence reminds parents to keep the advice that works, leave what doesn’t, and cue in to those all-important instincts that help families grow, thrive and enjoy the ride.” —Debbie Glasser, Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Founder of NewsForParents.org  

”Paula Spencer leads by example and does so hysterically.  I only wish I had a copy of this book when my children were younger.  Momfidence is a book every mother should keep close by for those inevitable "have I totally screwed up" moments. Momfidence is a great gift for every mom who needs some perspective. I love this book.” —Mimi Doe, award-winning author of Busy but Balanced and founder of SpiritualParenting.com.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Three Rivers Press (September 5, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307337421
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307337429
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 7.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,874,634 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Jennifer Stiner on March 16, 2007
Format: Paperback
"Momfidence" is what comes natural - before we're brainwashed by experts and pressured by the "mompetition". (Was that a quote from the book, or did I make it up? Either way, I truly believe it!)

This is by far the best parenting book I have ever read, and I am (or was) obsessed with anything written on the subject. Every mom in the world should read this book - with an OPEN mind. You can't take every single thing she writes literally people! I love Whole Foods, in fact, my husband and I are vegan and so is our little one, and I wasn't offended or aghast at any of her comments on the subject. You have to look at the big picture here. The irresponsible thing would be for someone to read this book and take everything word for word without using your own brain and gut to make decisions for your family.

I'm just so glad I got ahold of it as soon as I did. I've only got one little munchkin so far, and all the natural wisdom from this book will not be lost on her or any other of my future kiddos!
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Format: Paperback
Okay... so here's how I see it. As a mother of five, I have prided myself on my seeminly endless efforts to become the "greatest mom ever"

If you were to look at my parenting section in my books shelf it would look something like this:

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING, WHAT TO EAT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING, WHAT TO EXPECT THE TODDLER YEARS,BABYWISE 1 AND 2, SO YOU WANT TO RAISE A BOY, LOVE AND LOGIC MAGIC FOR EARLY CHILDHOOD,THE STRONG WILLED CHILD, THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD, SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY, LOVE AND LOGIC-WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD LEAVES YOU SPEECHLESS, HOW TO BEHAVE SO YOU'RE CHILDREN WILL TOO, SUPERNANNY... AND FINALLY MOMFIDENCE. (plus about ten others stuffed in between.)

Do you see the pattern here? It wasn't until Momfidence that it finally all made sense. We make being a parent way too hard! The author's tell it like it is style of writing is so refreshing and funny. It's an easy read that any woman can relate too. Although I think it is funnier for a woman who has born and reared children.

Absolutely without a doubt- we mom's do not give ourselves enough credit- Thank you Paula for taking the guilt away and making parenting fun.

I can finally end my search for the perfect parenting book... cuz there ain't one out there. I'm just gonna relax, chill and enjoy the ride with my Momfidence in one hand and my five beautiful children in the other.
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Format: Paperback
As a victim of reading way too many parenting books, I loved this book. I actually have stopped reading parenting books, parenting magazines, etc. But decided I'd make an exception for this book.

It's a great antidote for the current paranoid parenting that has overtaken us poor mothers. I love the chapters on television, nutrition, preserving memories, etc.

On the other hand, I think the book is somewhat hypocritical. She puts down other parenting advisors for pushing their views on others. Yet she is very pushy about her own views. There's this tone of relax, relax. Don't worry what they say. Feeding your child oreos is not such a big deal. Not filling out your child's baby book is not such a big deal. Don't worry about your child watching lots of TV. Oh, but do make sure you sit down and have dinners with your family!! Why? Just as Lucky Charms for breakfast won't ruin your child's dinner neither will eating dinner at different times ruin a family.

The author also seems very anti-attachment parenting. And yes I do think us AP parents deserve some kicks in the butt. We have pushed our beliefs on others at times. I think we do deserve some of the blame for this mother-guilt that is going around (although mainsteam parents also push their beliefs on AP parents and cause guilt/anxiety). But she insults AP practices and I don't think that is neccessary. As long as your family is relatively relaxed and happy, I see nothing wrong with health-food diets, long term breastfeeding, and co-sleeping. By attacking/insulting these practices, I think she alienates a large audience.

In her short paragraph about breastfeeding, she says that every mother needs to try breastfeeding, but doesn't thnk they need to continue to the full year.
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Format: Paperback
This book was a breath of fresh air! It is a laugh-out-loud, fun book to read -- I found myself recounting many parts of the book to friends and family. We Moms can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, and this book was a great reminder that if we just relax and enjoy our kids they will turn out just fine! It's also a great confidence booster to realize that you're not alone -- the craziness involved with raising kids is something EVERY parent goes through.
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The "let kids be kids" attitude of this book was refreshing, but the author contradicts herself constantly. In one breath, she is criticizing the mommy wars and in the next, she is going on about her personal beliefs about different parenting styles and people screwing up their kids. The idea of "Momfidence" says that we are all good parents and we are all capable of raising happy, healthy kids. However, if you go on through the whole book, you will see that in her mind, this doesn't apply to people who force healthy diets, choose from the beginning not to breastfeed, breastfeed too long, allow their children to watch "Shrek," believe in babyproofing every inch of the house, etc. At one point, she makes fun of a woman who won't give her child cookies, saying that the poor deprived child will grow up to be a binge eater, as opposed to hers who are used to having cookies daily and think nothing of it. While I do agree with total deprivation leading to overindulging, that's not the point. The point of the book is that we are to stop judging and criticizing each other! She also preaches on discipline, but then gives examples of things that are just "fun" like jumping on the couch. I don't know about anyone else, but climbing on furniture at home leads to climbing on furniture in someone else's home, which leads to a disrespectful attitude toward other people's belongings. Allowing your children to jump on your own couch is fine, but don't lecture the rest of us on being too controlling when we don't allow it in our homes. I guess if you agree with everything she has to say, you could enjoy this book. It is amusing in many ways. However, if you are reading it because of the attidude it advertises about the end to mommy wars, skip it because the author is a total hypocrite.
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