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The More You Do The Better You Feel: How to Overcome Procrastination and Live a Happier Life Paperback – March 4, 2015
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- ISBN-10 : 1935880012
- ISBN-13 : 978-1935880011
- Dimensions : 5.98 x 0.52 x 9.02 inches
- Publisher : Darwin Bay Publishing (March 4, 2015)
- Paperback : 248 pages
- Item Weight : 11.9 ounces
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #266,171 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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Recently, I've focused my reading on habits and procrastination. Somehow in this process, I came across this book, The More You Do, The Better You Feel by David Parker. And I can't put into words the laser-like accuracy of this description of my life. I feel naked and exposed while reading this. How can this person who's never met me, articulate the inner battle that's dominated and consumed my entire life with such precision and detail? He doesn't just know what I do (or don't do), but how I think and how I respond--things I've never told anyone, not my mom, not my husband of 20 years. But here it is, written for all the world to see.
I don't want to quote too much and violate copyright laws--lol--but here are a few snippets that hit me right between the eyes. See if you can also identify with these descriptions:
"As an adult procrastinator, I often felt like a child lost in a sea of adults. Similar to when I was a five-year-old in Macy's department store and strayed too far from my mother and felt bewildered by the seemingly mountainous range of countertops and endless shopping aisles: 'Mommy! Mommy!' I cried out in fear of abandonment. Adult procrastinators act in a somewhat similar fashion, but instead of crying out, we cry inwards by internalizing our feelings of inadequacy and bewilderment through a continuous stream of negative self-talk and self-admonishment."
"Just as a smoker may require a cigarette after undergoing stress, when a procrastinator feels stress, he tends to shut down; however, this itself is procrastination, which leads to even greater levels of stress."
"When procrastinators feel overwhelmed, they tend to go into self-protection mode, shutting down like overloaded circuit breakers do. Over time, a person who possesses poor coping skills may adopt procrastination as his default method of stress reduction. Procrastination can become habitual when a person's initial response to a task is to shy away from it because he feels overcome or flooded by anxiety. This automatic response may provide temporary relief from anxiety; however, the more he avoids uncomfortable situations, the more uncomfortable he then becomes with anxiety. As a result, not 'do'-ing becomes an automatic response to anything that causes distress. Instead of will power, 'won't power' becomes the rule."
"Procrastination can become a habit that can eventually grow to the point where the procrastinator sees himself as less than an adult, while at the same time, his tasks seem almost to overshadow him, as though they've become larger than life."
"When a habitual procrastinator puts off a task, it's often because he has told himself 'I can't do it,' and the more he thinks that, the more he believes it."
"Almost all habitual procrastinators occasionally surprise themselves by acting on a task....Moments before taking action, a habitual procrastinator's attitude is quite similar to an Army battalion taking a hill in a 'now or never,' 'do--or die!' effort. Once they've begun, many procrastinators are so determined to plow through and finish their task, they may rebuff the attempts of others to change from what they're engaged in.."
"At any particular time, the average habitual procrastinator has already put off many different tasks that cover a wide spectrum of his needs. Each of these tasks has its own particular life span and because the habitual procrastinator only tends to deal with his tasks when he's forced to by external demands, like deadlines, he acts on a crisis-by-crisis basis, which is an emotionally exhausting way of going about things. Given the fight he's had against taking action, after dealing with a task, he needs a break, which only continues his procrastination. In essence, although he has just put out one fire, the rest of his house continues to smolder; so his break only lasts until the smoke from another fire alerts him of his need to take action once more."
Over and over again, it was like reading a personalized psychoanalysis report of my life...As though a journalist was following me and documenting my life and then a psychiatrist analyzed it. The author theorizes that procrastination isn't just a by-product of depression, rather it can be a root cause of depression. I have to say, looking back on my life, I absolutely concur with this assessment. When you consistently avoid unpleasant tasks out of fear that you're incapable and won't measure up, the tasks themselves pile up exponentially as does the mental weight of the "evidence" of your inadequacies and inferiority to everyone else (the functioning adults) further paralyzing your efforts which is a perfect recipe for depression.
Anyway, I was so moved by this first portion of the book that I contacted the author (a first for me, an avid reader). He's very friendly and is planning a FB group for people based on this book soon. If you're like us, you may want to seek it out and join. I know I will! :)
After doing the JOT for just three days, I "unplugged" the bottled up "need to's" of at least two months, made decisions, got things moving on at least three or four fronts that had been stymied. It's *liberating*! Really astonishing.
This book will help you dejunk your attitude, your thoughts, your house and your life, AND you'll feel great and enjoy your leisure because all the haff-tas aren't crushing your spirit.
Yes, it takes efffort to write but the payoff is more than worthy of the effort. “I continued writing in my journal and as time passed, I accumulate enough material to begin looking back at what I had written, and this presented me with an opportunity to observe the ways and patterns in which my mind worked.”
This is only one insight in any book full of good stuff. Thank you David Parker for “The more You Do, The Better You Feel.”
Top reviews from other countries
I think this book has been well written and has many examples and anecdotes that I have been able to relate to. Books that specifically focus on how to overcome the problems of procrastination are few and far between and I am grateful that this book is now available and I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone who is wanting to live a life free from the pitfalls of procrastination!
Das Buch ist brutal ehrlich geschrieben. Dies hat bei mir dazu geführt, dass ich leider mein Respekt für den Autor verloren habe. Er schreibt, dass er früher Menschen mit Terminkalender im Büro ausgelacht hat, dass er Probleme hatte eine Wand zu Hause zu streichen und deshalb eine Hotline anrufen musste, um Hilfe zu bekommen (wegen seiner Überwältigung). Dies mag für manche Menschen Vertrauen auslösen, für mich war es das Gegenteil. Ich habe mich gefragt "Wie kann man so bescheuert sein?!?". Insgesamt erzählt der Autor bis zur Hälfte des Buches über das deprimierende Leben, das er bzw ein procrastinator führt, wie undiszipliniert solche Menschen sind und wie schlimm und unselbstvewusst sie sich deshalb fühlen. Dies hat mich wieder nicht besonders motiviert und ich konnte mich nicht in diesem Bild finden. Ich trainiere fast täglich, esse gesund, bin schlank, hab ein erfolgreiches Studium hinter mir in dem ich sehr fleißig gelernt habe, bin sehr organisiert, arbeite an mir selbst und obwohl ich manchmal etwas aus Angst oder Langeweile verschoben habe, kann ich nicht sagen, dass ich so niedrig gefallen bin, eine Wand nicht streichen zu können und mich unfähig zu fühlen.
Damit will ich sagen, dass das Buch sehr intensiv geschrieben ist. Wer schon ein hohes Niveau an Organisation erreicht hat und sich noch mehr verbessern will, könnte dieses Buch als einen Fehlgriff empfinden, da es wirklich gaanz schwierige Fälle als Publikum im Visier hat.
Trotzdem ist die JOT Methode eine nette Idee, die ich seit einigen Tagen mit Erfolg implementiert habe, weshalb die 3*. Das Buch hat mich aber beim Lesen echt deprimiert, da ich kein role model gefunden habe. Es wurde nur über deprimierte, unerfolgreiche, peinliche Lebensweisen berichtet und zwar nicht nur ein Kapitel, sondern mind. die Hälfte des Buches.....
Deshalb: wenn ihr Selbstdisziplin habt und eigentlich normal bis überdurchschnittlich seid, könnt ihr die JOT Methode googlen und braucht das Buch nicht zu kaufen. Wenn ihr schlampig seid und geplagt von richtig großen Organisationsproblemen, kauft es. Es hat mich so negativ beeinflusst, dass ich das Bild vom Autor jetzt anders wahrnehme-er sieht für mich nach einem Procrastinator aus. :D