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Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss 1st Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 227 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0385314381
ISBN-10: 0385314388
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Edelman shares her own painful story and the stories of many other women who, as children or adults, lost their mothers. She explains the stages of grief and adjustment. She considers the secondary effects that can occur: the girl-child filling the lost mother's role at home for father and younger siblings. If you've lost your mother, you no longer have to face it alone. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

The death of a mother--particularly during one's young years--is traumatic. Writing of her own experiences of losing her mother when she was 17, and the grief of hundreds of women she interviewed who lost their mothers through death, abandonment or another form of separation, freelance writer Edelman marshals a wealth of anecdotal evidence, supplemented with psychological research about bereavement, that indicates that one's longing for a mother never disappears. Though the focus is on early loss for girls and the implications for their developing identity, adult daughters also speak in these pages to provide another poignant perspective. The author succeeds in opening up cathartic dialogues, personalizing a life-changing event and offering guidelines to help women of any age live with their loss. Author tour.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 324 pages
  • Publisher: Delta; 1 edition (April 1, 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385314388
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385314381
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.7 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (227 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #574,305 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By A Customer on July 27, 2000
Format: Paperback
I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen years old. When I went back to school after the funeral, I think I did what alot of girls do, I acted like I was fine, because I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside of me. This lasted for a couple of years, and during my first year of college, my father bought me this book. I kept it unread in a drawer for a long time, I didn't want to deal with my moms death. She was my best friend, and I couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, I picked up the book and began to read. I was only a few pages in, when I began to cry like I hadn't since the night she died. It was hard for me to read the book, but I did, a few pages at a time, over a couple of weeks. I never realized that while other girls lose their mother under different circumstances, there are still things that are similar, and bind all of we "motherless daughters" together. This book helped in ways I can't even begin to describe. It gave me someone to relate to (none of my friends had ever lost a parent). I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother, no matter how old you were, or how long ago it happened. It helped me face my pain, and work through it, like nothing else could. I know it is difficult to deal with, but Hope Edelman's book really helps make a tragic situation, a bit easier to cope with.
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Format: Paperback
I lost my mother when I was just 13 years old and although it's been 16 years, I still feel the loss every day. Like the author, I had an overwhelming sense of grief in my mid-twenties. I mean it was like I was newly bereaved again. I would come home and cry. Or I would dream about her for consecutive nights. I am so glad that Ms. Edelmen took on this topic. Intellectually, I knew that I wasn't alone, but I am the only one in my immediate circle of friends whose mother is deceased so that makes for awkward moments on Mother's day and other holidays. Of course the sympathetic ones want to be a sort of replacement, but that's not what I want. I want my actual mother, my nurturer and my friend. It's so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced this loss, especially since I am an adult now. I remember that shortly after mom passed some callous relative actually had the nerve to tell me, "Life goes on." As if I didn't know that already. As if it were that simple.
Thank you Hope, for helping us motherless daughters understand that the impact of this loss can be lifelong. I've long suspected that the absence of my mother has affected my intimate relationships and even my relationships with other females. It's one thing to feel something intuitively and quite another to see that someone else has not only felt that same way, but has researched it. I'm still reading this book, but I felt so strongly about it that offer up my heartfelt thanks right now. This book is a blessing, and not just for daughter whose mothers are deceased. Hope also addresses women who have been abandoned ny their mothers and those who have never known their mothers.
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Format: Paperback
I am 24 and lost my mother two months ago. I have been feeling a deep sense of emptiness and have come to the conclusion that in general, the world seems to overlook the pain of parent loss. It's said to be a natural cycle of life, however, when you're young, there's nothing natural about it. I just happened across this book as I was browsing in a book store, and can honestly say that it has not only given me permission to grieve deeply, but it has validated many of my feelings of loss. As the world tends to tell you to "get on with your life," or "stop playing the victim," this book encourages people to aknowledge that mother loss is indeed a profound loss, and one that can affect a person for a long time. Accepting the painfulness of a loss and feeling grief is not playing the victim role, it's simply being human. As I watched the world respond to my mother's death, the outpouring for my father was tremendous and in many ways my sister and I stood in the background and observed this. This book confirmed that it's no wonder mother loss is so painful, it's the first relationship one ever experiences and once it's gone there is no substition, no new parent. My father may remarry, but my sister and I will never have another mother. Through this book I have been able to allow myself to grieve deeply and understand that my loss is not more, and certainly not less than anyone elses, just different.
The biggest thing I learned from reading this book was that it's important to face the grief and saddness head-on It has to be dealt with at some point and the sooner the better. I am so glad that someone was able validate and address the pain surrounding mother loss at not only a younger age, but at any age.
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Format: Paperback
This book did what 34 years of therapy with expensive and highly degreed therapists could not do. I lost my mother emotionally at the age of 12. While this book starts out addressing the physical death of a mother, it very well includes all kinds of losses that damage the mother-daughter relationship. My mother went from a warm, loving, nurturing parent who baked all the time and kept a clean house to a paranoid, delusional,slovenly woman who was never home, and who was physically abusive when she was; a woman who could not criticize me deeply and thoroughly enough. There were probably lots of reasons for that, none of them having anything to do with me. But at 12, how was I to know? I just thought she didn't love me anymore. I could not please her. At 16, I stopped trying, ran away from home and learned how to live on the streets.

This loss colored my life for the rest of my life, and it took every ounce of strength, energy and intellect to untangle the mess. This book shed some very crucial light on the deepest wound my soul carries. I know a closeness with my mother because of that painful bond that is a combination of pleasure and pain that is part and parcel of who I am. Today, thanks to Hope Edelman, I understand that bond (and the bond I have with my daughter)so much better.
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