Doug Kenrick writes with a style that makes it a pleasure to read his work.
There are plenty of interesting original experiments reported in Sex, Murder
and the Meaning of Life that make this a particularly valuable addition
to your collection about figuring out who we are.
Early on in the book is a discussion about why Kenrick tossed the Playboy's.
This discussion is one reason I find his writing so fascinating even when
I personally disagree with his assessment.
For example in one experiment Kenrick notes that men report being less
in love with their partner after having viewed centerfolds. Therefore
Kenrick suggests tossing the Playboy's in order to make the relationship
with the flesh and blood better.
And I would need a lot more than self report on something as critical as
the long term relationship. For years people thought viewing porn increased
the crime of rape. That is now a known fallacy. In fact current research
shows that pedophiles viewing child porn reduces the actual actions
between pedophile and child. The point of course is that self report in
the moment is not necessarily a good bet to be true for the long term.
In the moment, you are viewing the centerfold and then you are asked your
commitment level to your partner and say it is less controls. That makes
sense. Whether the upside of viewing beauty (motivation, impulse to action)
is worth the possible self report reduction in commitment is something
that would be worth pursuing long term.
On the flip side, women report that after viewing photos of dominant
men, they report less commitment to their partners. Thus it would
make sense to not let the female partner think about or enter the
proximity of socially dominant men would be the solution...but I suspect
that isn't going to happen. It also seems very possible that there
are achievement benefits to both partners for women to observe socially
dominant men.
If the outcome of life was to always be "comfortable" then Kenrick
would be correct. But if the goal was for people to achieve I suspect
he may not be.
Meanwhile Kenrick does another experiment where men shown images
of socially dominant men feel less desirable as partners as women
do shown images of beautiful women. These are wonderful experiments
but I suspect the results can provide impetus for motivation, drive
and achievement and further experimentation their to see how
performance is impacted would be fascinating as well.
In the very next chapter...just after questioning my author
on his perception of the results of his experiments, everything
changed. Kenrick's experiments with men and women and how they
report homicidal fantasies. It begins with 3/4 of men and 2/3 of
women reporting that they have had homicidal fantasies. I suspect
most of those who reported they don't...lie about other things as well.
What happens next is truly interesting. Women and men both fantasize
but in very different ways. Men report methodical point by point
planning and execution of their plans over significant amounts of
time. Meanwhile a woman's homicidal fantasy was typified by
"I wish he'd just drive off the cliff and die." Women and men
are very similar....while being different.
Ah, and who do men (85%) and women (65%) want to kill?
You guessed it. Men. Kenrick explores this subject in depth
and reports on his experiments are quite interesting as he
breaks down just what kinds of men and women we want to kill.
This was worth the price of admission.
The following chapter follows through with the touchy subject of
hatred and prejudice. Kenrick even handedly navigates a complex
subject and presents material that should be taught in high
school. What? Your feelings are normal.
Kenrick saves the discussion of Subselves for mid-book.
An extremely important metaphor for who we are is dealt
with brilliantly. Subselves is a controversial and complicated
discussion about who we are...and this chapter will enlighten
those who didn't study Ego States (John Watkins) in psychology.
And religion...want people in your church to express a greater
belief in God? Show them photos of attractive people of their
sex. It's something I never would have thought of putting to the
test but Kenrick figured it out and you'll want to know why.
Kenrick is an excellent writer who you feel you know after
reading the book. Honest, open, flawed and wise.
The book is absolutely a must read.
Kevin Hogan PsyD
Author of
The Psychology of Persuasion
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