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My Biggest Mistake Kindle Edition
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Edie Leery made a very terrible mistake. 2 years ago, she walked out on her husband and 3 children because she couldn't stand the person she saw every single day in the mirror, so much so that she walked away from everything. If she thought staying and living out what little existence she thought was bad, being away from her family was so much worse. It took her two years to come to terms with the demons she lived with, demons that got stronger with each pregnancy. They only intensified after having the twins to the point that she was no longer the happy, vibrant woman she used to be, but a ghost of what she once was. Her smile decreased little by little until there was no reason to smile. Her cheeks hollowed out, much like her soul. Her body changed as her curves disappeared and bones began to peek up underneath her skin. Her eyes lost their sparkle and shine, until there was no life left in them.
Donovan Leery is not just hurt that his beloved wife left him and their three children, he...is...LIVID! The only thing Edie left was some pathetic piece of paper that didn't even pass as an excuse of why a woman would just get up and leave her family behind. He knows there's a reason she left, some sordid reason involving a man, because what normal person would leave without much to go on if it didn't involve another lover. What Donovan doesn't realize at the time was that Edie didn't leave to have an affair or to even enjoy the single life for two years, she was dealing with something far darker and more troublesome.
What Edie wasn't expecting when she came back home, was for her husband to not only want nothing to do with her, but that he moved on with her best friend. My heart didn't just break for Edie, it shattered into billions of pieces. I felt so much hurt, anger, betrayal, and sadness. I have never felt such hatred for anyone in my life like I felt towards Beth. I hated her to the point where I hoped Ms. Harper would just kill her off already. I absolutely couldn't stand her and barely tolerated to read scenes she was in.
Somehow, someway, Donnie lets down his guard and slowly lets Edie back in. But he never would have guessed why she left in the first place. When he realizes what she was going through, you can see how much he hates himself for thinking the absolute worst of his wife when she was in the darkest place.
Now, it certainly wouldn't be a Leddy Harper book if she didn't make her characters go through tremendous torment before finding their happy ending, the same can be said for this book as well. I cried so much when Edie reveals her secret that threatens to destroy the fragile peace she and Donnie have found together. And let me tell you, this secret will absolutely gut you to the core.
Getting back to why this book crushed me. I have lived with depression for over 17 years, from the time I turned just 15 years old. This illness isn't just the feeling of being sad, but it goes deep into your soul and crushes down on you until you're fighting to breathe. There were days where I could barely get up out of bed because the thought of being anywhere but bed was agonizing. Being around anyone who wasn't less than depressed and despondent was unimaginable. Depression is an incredibly serious illness and it isn't something to be joked about. I can't tell you how many people, including doctors, have told me that depression is just all in your head. Just be happy. That's not how that works. You can't force yourself to be happy when you're at your absolute lowest point in your life.
I cannot even imagine what postpartum depression is like. I can only tell you what I feel when I get depressed, believe me when I say that depression really sucks. I think that was why this book was harder for me to read because I knew exactly how Edie felt at times, because they were things that I felt at one time or another. I strongly suggest that if you or someone you know suffer from depression, please reach out to someone who will listen to you and help you get through the darkness.